“I’m a big NL Penis”; A weekend with Ross Jeffries, part three: ‘Ross’.

[Disclaimer: this is all subjective opinion. It is not hard fact and I'm not trying to imply it is. I'm not a journalist, I'm a lone blogger and I have zero affiliation with any PUA gurus]

For Part One go to: “Let me spoon-feed you little babies”; A weekend with Ross Jeffries, part one: ‘The Attendees’.

For Part Two go to: “Chocolate and Shit”; A weekend with Ross Jeffries, part two:’The Content’.

Intro

I remember clearly sitting in my flat in January reading The Game. My first peek inside this strange world of Pick Up Artistry. As I read about Neil Strauss meeting Ross Jeffries little did I realise that eight months later he the legend himself would be leaving a comment on my blog calling me a “sick, twisted fuck” in person.

What has little Bhodisatta done that so prickles Ross? Well I attended his seminar and thought it was so interesting that I’d write a large, humorous review of it. It seems that Ross does not react well to criticism. Oh dear.

Well I’ve delayed and delayed finishing off this review because frankly I’m sick of the subject. However, I can’t stand leaving things undone so taking advantage of my boss not being in for a day I’ve finally, yes finally, finished part three.

In this final part of my review I’d like to talk a little bit about Ross’ personality and how this affected the seminar and continues to affect his public persona. I’ll then draw some conclusions which span all three parts of this review.

Ross the teacher

I went to a Speed Seduction community because Ross is a legend, I liked some of the material in his DVDs and I thought it would be an unmissable opportunity to see him teach in person. I was wrong. Sitting through a two day seminar with Ross is the ghoulish process of gradually realizing how defective his personality is and having those defects slowly chipping away at you. I would describe Ross as bullying, insecure, domineering, frame-controlling, deluded, incompetent, egotistical, megalomaniacal, intimidating and unpleasant.

You might argue that this is all an irrelevant personal attack and has nothing to do with Speed Seduction. That’s missing the point. This is primarily a review of the seminar. The way the presenter acts is of paramount relevance. I’m not talking about having tea with him or chilling in his crib; I mention these defects because they genuinely have an impact in the seminar.

Let’s begin! Ross’ egotism is unreal. They guy has lost the plot. He truly thinks he’s a legend and now, surrounded by fawning Omegas he still feels the need to try and dominate everyone. He constantly negs and snipes the attendees. He dishes out insulting nicknames and makes lots ot tiny, sly digs which are disguised as jokes.

Ross doesn’t like it when attendees act with any kind of self assurance in his presence. If they do he feels the need to assert himself and squash them. One attendee, obviously a British NLP nerd, actually asked a decent question and Ross must have sensed just that tiniest lack of devotion:

Nerd: “Ross, I see a lot of your techniques are based on NLP. What I’d like to know…”

Ross: (interrupts) “You are a little NL Penis. I’m a big NL Penis”

(echoing silence)

Nerd: “O…K…. well as I was saying… blah blah”

On another occasion he got an attendee, who happened to be a little short, up for a demo. He did some stuff and sent him back. The guy was pretty self assured and no surprise, as he is about to sit down Ross barks out “Do you feel embarrassed about your height around women?”. The guy is unfazed and Ross for a second looks disappointed, then pop! the guy vanishes out of his world and he ignores him and moves on. No point raping people if they don’t squeal.

Ross is very deluded about his own abilities as a teacher. As well as being technically poor (lack of structure, etc, as discussed in part two) his personality defects sadly prevent him from being able to acknowledge, build upon, praise, respect or respond to a constructive question, statement or piece of feedback from his attendees. Yes, a large proportion of the questions were imbecilic, but not all, and on the rare occasions someone asked an insightful question Ross proved incapable of responding properly. He just takes the question, sucks it in and spits it out, or turns it over in his paws looking for something he can pick at.

The weird thing is that he encourages questions. Why? Maybe he does it to try and NLP the attendees into thinking that he’s a great teacher. “Hey, Voss is really great and open guy, ze way you can just ask so many questions about anyzing”. Not only does he not reallydigest questions properly (because his head is blocking his own digestive tract) but he sometimes seemed not intellectually capable of understanding questions and what was being driven at.

The net effect was that most of the attendees with a brain stopped bothering to ask questions as they knew they wouldn’t get answered properly and they’d just get teased or shut down by the roving Eye of Sauron which was sweeping the room. The Eye of Sauron is real. After two days it was intimidating having him pace about in front. It was like the times at school when the teacher would step out for a minute and the prematurely developed class bully would stalk up and down the aisles of desks looking for someone to humiliate and intimidate. His cronies would be sniggering and all the Betas would be staring down at their books, desperate for someone else to be the victim that day.

While discussing ‘response potential’ Ross suddenly, without any warning, barked out to an attendee:

Ross: “You! You didn’t understand that!”

[pause]

Attendee: “Er…I did!”

Ross: “Mmmmm…. well… (snaps) you haven’t given me a lot of response potential up till now” (looks at the other attendees for the validating snigger).

This all makes Ross’ delusional, lying frame-control even worse. Look at his comments on part one of this review. He focuses on the caricatures I portrayed of some of the attendees and tries to come across as defending them against the cruel, twisted blogger. I’m not the one that struts in front of them making them feel small. If anyone is sticking up for them IT’S ME!

Twat

Look at me. Look at me. Ross actually talks like this. Go to a seminar or watch one of his DVDs. He really does constantly say “look at me, look at me” and similar weird garbage. It does my head in. It’s incredibly annoying and it distracts people. Stop it. “Get the transmission”, Ross.

Throughout the weekend what Ross also does is never stop legend-building. He constantly drops in little anecdotes about previous girls he’s been with. All weekend we got him bragging about how he’d just been to Scandinavia and had so much sex he’d ‘run out of bodily fluids’. And gradually, if you listened carefully, it came to light that he’s been introduced to this girl through a student/friend. So he’s been brought a ‘sacrifice’ in other words, by some toadying fan.

Ross: Kezia! You know I like Swedish girls.

Kezia: Yeah there’s a group of them to meet you

Ross: I like Beckster, he gets me Swedish girls.

Ross: Kezia, what time are we having dinner with them?

Kezia: Er, there is no dinner. It’s just a bunch of Swedish girls in a bar.

More sacrifices? Go get your own girls, Ross.

The boasting is endless.

“I’m too powerful. Not many people are as powerful as me. I’m too powerful, I scare women. I have to work on reducing my power. I have to work on my vulnerability. I’m a deeply vulnerable person”.

All the time to reassure himself, make himself feel big and to brainwash the sad little attendees into believing they are in the presence of a Powerful Man Who Has Sex With Women. In the end if you add all the bragging, boasting, negging, dominating and storytelling together he almost spends more time on that than he does delivering the damn material!

Which is interesting because this is exactly what one of the rare few other reviews of Ross says as well:

http://www.10zenmonkeys.com/2006/09/13/downfall-seducer/

“keep in mind that Ross puts just as much effort into conquering the men he teaches as he does teaching them how to conquer their fears with women. He has built a cult that specializes in humiliating the guys who come to him, using his students’ deep inward pain, and hypnotic suggestion. Ross’ sessions are insulated, intense, and very male-centric.”

I agree with the first sentence wholeheartedly.

Ungraceful decline

So Ross founded the seduction community and now he’s being usurped by the new kids on the block? Well first off he didn’t found it. He maybe started the alt.seduction.fast mailing list but since when did he ‘found’ the community? Regardless, he’s certainly being and been usurped by the new kids. Not too long ago all there was was Ross. Then it exploded. And now he’s had to deal with going from number one to being the ‘retro choice’. And these new kids have taken it to a higher level. They’ve put in structured frameworks and techniques that even idiots can understand, unlike the vast rambling sprawl with an NLP nucleus that most people cannot understand, that is Speed Seduction. These guys don’t just run seminars, they run Bootcamps. They take you into clubs. You can watch as they will pull chicks in front of you to show how it’s done.

If you are the aged, grizzled grand daddy of the community then what are your options? I think they are twofold:

Option A

Be dignified and graceful. Let the new guys come along. You can’t stop them. Specialize in your NLP stuff which luckily the new guys generally don’t bother with and which actually is incredibly powerful. Keep on good terms and come across as the venerable Grandmaster. Make lots of guest appearances at their seminars. Contribute on forums. Look at their products. Look at their marketing. Improve your own, rather amateurish, production values and website accordingly. Tighten ship on your seminars and deliver a fantastic content. Raise your game.

Option B

Go down fighting. At every opportunity slag off anybody new and say their system is rubbish but simultaneously that everything they have learned and do is derived from you. Go on YouTube and indulge in ‘paranoid, narcissistic rants’ (TenMagnet) which make you look like a sad old man. Don’t update your production values because you’re too megalomaniacal to listen to anybody elses opinions. Set up a website called www.puafraud.com where you try and reframe yourself as ‘defender of the community’ and attack and ‘expose’ other PUA gurus. Let your head go so far up your own backside that you isolate all friends or anybody that you feel you cannot control and are surrounded with toadies. Run appalling seminars where you sit and rant and boast for two days at sad, sycophantic men.

***

Now. Which one did Ross chose? Seriously. Paul. You are doing yourself no favours here with your behaviour. Everyone else; take a look at the comments on the first part of this review. Yes, that’s Ross himself leaving three long comments. This is Ross Jeffries, successful businessman, supposedly knee-deep in pussy, sitting up at night hunched over his MacBook leaving comments on some nobody’s blog because they dared to write a not entirely positive review about him. Three comments in a row including the priceless one where I get called a “sick, twisted fuck”. You’re not doing your public persona any good here, Paul. Have you tried controlling your rage with ‘grounding exercises’?

Ross seems to particularly hate David D. He states that at one point David D was his student and then launches into a weird, weird story about how David D brought him a girl that he’d ‘put a hypnotic lock on’ but Ross broke through it and then boned her. WTF? The day after he did his “change work” on Chocolate Daddy he got him up in front of the camera to make a grovelling testimonial. “Did you used to believe in David D?” he asks him. Chocolate Daddy admits he used to ‘follow’ David D. It’s getting scarily cult-like. When Ross finds this out he goes crazy: “How much money did you spend on him? How much? How much money did you spend?” he barks. Showing suprising (salty chocolate) balls Chocolate Daddy simply says he’d prefer not to say. Ross gets nasty and turns on him like an enraged Yorkshire terrier: “David D is as much use as tits on a bull!” he screams to the room. There’s a pause, then Chocolate Daddy says “I don’t agree”. Silence. Rebellion!

I believe David D’s stuff is not as sophisticated as Ross’ and it does not contain those flashes of genius or such a complex philosophical, spiritual or language model like SS does. He also produces endless material; I really don’t need David D to tell me how to take a shower or have a shave. Please. This ain’t the point, though. The point is that Ross just makes himself look pathetic launching into these public criticisms. It’s unprofessional. It makes him look bad. Stop it. These guys have paid a fortune to be at your seminar, look at me, why are you wasting their time, expensive time they have paid you for,  telling them that David D is no use?

Not a PUA guru can pass by without coming under the Ross-Beam. He drops in at one point that he taught Neil Strauss:

“.. the Viceroy hotel. One of the first places I took Neil when I was training him”

And of course Mystery. Ross’ extreme jealousy of Mystery is almost palpable. I believe Ross and Mystery may be friends of sorts, that’s what the book The Game implies, and it certainly seems that Ross takes a little more caution criticizing him than he does David D. However he still says that he taught Mystery and he always refers to ‘The Misery Method’. After spending time roundly criticizing it and saying it’s useless he then later goes on to say that it’s all really just an application of the ‘response potential’ principle of Speed Seduction!

“Mystery’s genius..should he have have any…..” huge pause “…which he does… is that he has worked out how to create response potential in a club setting”

Further evidence of his need to place himself above anyone comes from the way he acted with his guest speakers, Beckster and Kezia. He always found ways to explain that whatever they were doing could be found in SS (Beckster’s stuff being “the intrusion principle”), and he dropped in little framing comments like “Beckster and I have this rule… calibrate the girl” or “Kezia’s a handful…. but I can handle her”. I doubt that.

Why this obsession with putting down others? Ross, in the game we call this a “scarcity mentality”. There is enough pie for everyone. No need to panic. Think about going out to bars with your buddies and talking to girls. If you all snipe at each other and fight over the girls then nobody gets anywhere, right? Well what would happen if you all hunted as a pack and supported each other? Take a look at yourself. Wouldn’t your situation be better if you acted with more dignity and got on well with these other gurus?

Mega conclusion

Why Ross Hates David D and the Mystery Method

Let me once again make a distinction between SS the system and SS the seminar. The system itself, should you spend time picking through it, contains some absolute nuggets of gold. Check out part two of this review. There are some very deep philosophical points within SS. If you discover and understand these core aspects of SS then something like the Mystery Method or the stuff David D pumps out does seem banal and trivial. They just seem like cheap parlour tricks. Ross can see this and this is why the success of people like David D and Mystery infuriates and frustrates him. What he doesn’t get is that for a lot of people his own system is too sophisticated and subtle and that you have to mine for the nuggets of gold and be intelligent and open minded enough to integrate them. For most guys this is too much. They just want something simple. A basic framework for talking to women in bars: great. Basic ideas for acting cocky funny: great. Read Ross’ second book. It’s fantastic. It’s not really a proper book; it’s just transcripts of dialogues in his coaching program but some of the stuff in there is absolutely mind blowing. It remains one of the best things I’ve ever read about the mindset of game. Can most people apply it? No. A good portion of the men who are into PUA are retards.

The tragedy of Speed Seduction

And here we reach our understanding of the tragedy of SS. Ross was one of the first on the market and he should be there last. His system contains concepts which ARE light years ahead of a lot of the stuff on the market, even now. Get his book and you’ll see what I mean. He should be number one. He isn’t. The problem is: he’s a twat. The top end of the PUA market, the smart guys, won’t tolerate him. The only people who will put with him are the needy rejects or the NLP nerds and the former of these are so stupid and incompetent the finer points of SS are totally wasted on them and the latter don’t really speak to girls.

Final Summary

This has been a very long review. Let me just quickly summarise my key points from all three parts:

• A SS seminar is ghoulishly fascinating experience akin to a Louis Theroux weird weekend (oh hang on, Ross actually was one). Go. See for yourselves but don’t say I didn’t warn you.
• It’s quite cult-like. Most of the attendees are sad, needy rejects and them and Ross are trapped in an awful symbiotic relationship.
• Ross spends as much time legend building, boasting and dominating as he does teaching. He is an insecure frame-controlling bully and an egomaniac.
• He’s a poor teacher and the seminar lacks structure and doesn’t contain a lot of content.
• My criticisms of the seminar and of his public persona do not mean I think SS itself is a bad system or devoid of good material. Au contraire.
• SS is all encompassing. You’d have to get the course and the coaching program and engage further in this almost endless quest to actually try and work out categorically what it fully contains and does not contain. The likely answer is that it contains everything in Ross’ head.
• There is no nucleus of well defined skills and drills. Not in Ross’ work. However, one of his proteges, Dave Riker, has produced his own interpretation of Speed Seduction and this is basically everything Ross’ is not (even though it’s all derived from Ross’ work). He’s interpreted what seems to me to be the earlier, pure NLP version of SS and produced a highly structured SS course complete with drills and exercises and very clearly defined boundaries.
• There is a lot in SS and a lot of it is absolutely excellent. SS contains concepts which ARE light years ahead of a lot of the stuff on the market. Stop. Look at me. Get the transmission. What I’ve been saying in this review is that the seminar was awful and that Ross is awful. I never said SS was. It isn’t. Look at me. There is some absolute gold dust in SS and it contains some intellectually and spiritual work which is more sophisticated than anything else on the market and is about twenty years ahead of its time. Ross, despite being a cunt, is also a genius.
• This gold dust is probably too advanced for most people. It’s deep, deep stuff and hard for most people to understand or apply. SS really is the tai chi of seduction.
• Everyone can find something different in SS but you have to find it yourself as it won’t be laid out neat for you. If you are interested in delving into the bowl of spaghetti that is SS and seeing what you find I recommend the following:
  • Dave Riker’s Speed Seduction
  • Ross’ Second book
  • Secrets of Advanced, Irresistible Arousal
  • Nail your Inner Game
  • Fear into Charisma
• For me the gold dust is three-part:

1)      First, it’s the NLP language tools which can be used to alter state. These work very effectively. I have used them myself.

2)      Secondly, it’s the interaction model which I described in part two. (‘Women provide the seduction energy’, ‘everything she gives you can be used’, likening the interaction to tai chi ‘touching hands’ drill, etc).

3)      Lastly it’s the energy change drills, which I have used and found do work.

• I am glad I went to the seminar because it was one of the weirdest weekends of my life. Also, seeing the attendees and their failings triggered a massive introspection in myself and helped me come to terms with the many years I realise I now spent as one of them.
• Finally, just in case you somehow have missed the point of the last twelve thousand words I will summarise it in one sentence: I recommend you learn Speed Seduction and take the gold from it but I recommend you do not go to a Speed Seduction seminar.

The End

I hope you enjoyed this review and found it valuable. It would be nice if what I’ve done could raise the bar a little and a few more people started taking the time and effort to add some value and write thorough, honest reviews of the self-proclaimed pickup gurus out there rather than just sucking up to them or writing mindless negative posts on forums. I hope you were able to appreciate the subtlety of what I was saying and, given the regularity with which I lay bare all my failings to the world on this blog, appreciate my objectivity and don’t take it all too seriously. Look at me. End the transmission.

Bhodisatta

Tips for the mid 30′s (and older) PUA

Bored at work. Knocked this up.

 

Get in shape
Nasty shape. The number one indicator of age is fat. You can do yourself innumerable favours by lowering your bodyfat. Don’t just get ‘acceptable’ either. Get in great shape. Lift weights and put on muscle. You are competing with mid 20′s guys, plenty of whom go to the gym and work out. We’re lucky as men; the attractiveness of our physiques, apart from proportions, can pretty much be sculpted at will and is simply a combination of low bodyfat and musculature, unlike women where it is that exquisite blend of subcutaneous fat, muscle and glowing, smooth skin which for them, unfortunately, means the attractiveness of the female body is irreversibly linked to age. Ever noticed how those older women who hone their bodies (Demi Moore, Madonna, etc) still look like skanks? They have low bodyfat, their muscles are toned but… it just doesn’t work.

If you work out you can at 35 easily have a better body than a 20 year old guy who does not work out. Have you seen the trousers the guys in Hoxton wear? I couldn’t get my arm in them let alone my leg.

Develop your physicality. Remember when you were a chode you thought that revealing sexual intent was a terrible mistake. Wrong. Women are attracted to sexual energy just like we are. Learn to use your body. Learn to dance. Do tai chi. Whatever.

Groom
Nose hair. Bushy eyebrows. Back hair. Ear hair. All indicators of age due to hormonal shifts in the body. Get rid of it.

Style
Dress well. Really well. Read what Assanova has to say. Dress snappy and smart but cool. Think Bond on holiday rather than grunge. Buy expensive clothes or clothes that look expensive. Really work on this. Do not try and be cool. That’s a young man’s game; you’ll only end up looking like a Trendy Dad or a fool. Avoid Gap. Do not wear running shoes. Fleeces are out. North Face clothing is just for the Lake District.

Be Alpha
Charmingly hesitant, Hugh Grant-mumbling, slightly understated, appeasing, liberal, supplicating, nice guy. Fuck that. If you were a hot mid-20′s girl would you like some slightly shy, nice-guy 35 year old? You are older than her. You should be a rock. Not just to bang chicks as well… just generally. If you haven’t sorted your head out by 35 and stopped apologising for your existence then you should have.

Be young at heart
I’m younger at heart than most people I meet in their early twenties, who are horribly snobby and closed minded. Try new things. Be friends with anyone you click with. Keep an open mind. Do interesting things. Travel interesting places. Be laid back. Age is in the mind, not the body. If you develop a fresh, insightful perspective on life then this shines out and makes you ‘seem young’.

Get your shit together
You’re mid 30′s. If you haven’t got is sorted then why would you be attractive. You live in a nice apartment. You dont’ have posters on the wall, you have prints. You buy good food and can cook. Your life is organised. You are financially solvent. You have a plan. Your career is going where you want it to.

Don’t try to be hip
It’s painful. I don’t bother. Have you heard Band X? I don’t give a sh!t. You are there to be her pillar of manly strength, not to discuss the latest pop sensations. She may try finding out what things you like. Make sure they are intellectual and sophisticated and hopefully out of her price range. Movies? Japanese art house. Music? There’s a reasonable Spanish guitarist you’re listening to. Why are you even having this conversation?

Avoid her social circle (thanks Ross Jeffries)
Essential. The more you hang out with her friends the older you look. Don’t even go there. You aren’t interested. You like her because she’s fun, energetic, sweet, etc but why would you want to hang out with her friends. You have your own friends. You are not her generic boyfriend. You are the guy who is f**ing her while all her Beta trendster friends are riding their tiny, tiny bicycles round Shoreditch.

Be realistic
Only go for people two points above you at most. If you’re a six then you can pull 8′s. The bottom end of your age feasibility bracket is approximately ten years below yourself and ten years above. If you’re 35 you can, with the right chops, pull 25 year olds. If you’re 45 then go for 35 year olds. Yeah yeah we all hear about the Ross Jeffries’, the 52 year old guys pounding 21 year olds. These are the exceptions. With enough work you may be able to get it but do you need it? Wouldn’t you be happy pounding a hot 42 year old?

Avoid tens
Tens are hard work. A good number of them have based their lives around their looks and are insufferably high value actresses or models. Dont bother.

Do online dating
A lot of people in the community knock this because it invalidates the game model they’re making money teaching. The quality isn’t so good online but it’s a remarkably effective machine at providing you with a constant stream of dates to practice your skills at, and can probably provide you with a couple of non-ideal girls you can hump away at while you try get a hot one from game.

Consider obsessing less about women’s ages
Yes women look better when they’re younger but your HB9 at 40 will look better than your HB7 at 20. Stop listening to the fascism of the PUA community that the only thing which defines a womans worth is her looks and age. If they’re just generic womb-carriers with nothing to add then it probably is but there are some charming, witty girls out there and if you find one and chat for a while you won’t give a damn she’s 32 rather than 25.

Consider personality
It’s a sad fact that this is almost heresy within the PUA community. The PUA community in general rates women solely on looks yet delights in complaining of lack of personality in women. You are not under peer review here. Who are you trying to impress? What is acceptable to you in terms of looks is all that should matter. This is not a competition.

Go Asian
Asian culture is far more accepting of the young girl/old guy paradigm. And quite rightly so. Their societies have not been so infected by the feminazi agend of ours and still manage to see sense. If more women in America and Britain had just a pea-sized amount more grey matter or just one strong male friend they’d maybe be able to think beyond the end of their own nose and do basic mathematics and work out that messing men around until age 30 then panicking is really not the best life strategy. Asian culture is more marriage and family oriented. Asian girls actually want to get married. They don’t waste time so much. A 25 year old oriental girl, unless she has been ruined by over-exposure to the wester social conditioning, will not skip a beat at the thought of dating a strong, confident, charming, solvent 40 year old man.

Beware the Game
Don’t get obsessed with Game in itself. It’s a means to an end. Don’t waste time on PUA forums. They’re full of liars and losers.

1:4 Study to practice

A particular danger for the older PUA is sitting inside reading books and making notes. This is easier than running about in the cold humiliating yourself. Which is the problem. Any ‘game journey’ you are undertaking should involve four times the hours out doing it than reading about it. Apart from maybe at the beginning if your ratios are not like this then adjust them or give up.

Go Deep
If you’re 35 and have not had much success with women likelihood is there’s a very good reason for this. Assuming you do not have C-cup man tits then probably you lived a life of social conditioning and Betaness, maybe had one or two girlfriends who you deferred to, then eventually ended up getting more and more bitter. First step. Sort your inner game out. Stop hating women. Watch The Blueprint. Go on self development courses. Read books. Take up meditation. Introspect. Read The Fountainhead. Get rid of loser friends. By now you’ve probably been playing the role of “nice guy but hilariously incompetent with women” to your friends and family for years. Reinvent yourself. Get rid of friends who neg you to make themselves feel good. If you have attractive female friends you secretly like get rid of them. Cultivate new interests. Change. Do you want to be 45, single and bitter? This is your LIFE we are talking about here. This is the most important thing you’ll ever do.

Avoid bar game
Bar game is massively overrated. The older PUA should be focusing on daygame and online game.

Invest
Throw money at the problem. If you’re over 35 you should have some. If you don’t then how do you expect to support a pregnant woman. Don’t think that isn’t running through all their heads. Go on a bootcamp. Hire a personal coach. Why not? People get a personal trainer for the gym and this is way more important. I did five one-to-ones and they changed my life. If you’re ugly get plastic surgery. Buy nice clothes. Hire a personal shopper.

Prioritise
Consider taking time off work and just doing game. The aim is not to become a sad obsessive but just to build up a head of steam. Life is busy. Work tires you. Game gets easier the longer you do it. Most people drop out at the start. You need to devote a lot of time here. This will not be easy. Take a couple of months off and daygame six days a week and hit the bars a couple of times per week as well. If you are mid 30′s you have precious little time left in which pulling 20-something girls is ‘easy’. No girl in her 20′s dreams of a 40 year old boyfriend.

Get a plan. Make sure it has a beginning, middle and end.
Work out what you want.A nebulous “success with women” isn’t good enough. Which women? What type? What age? How many? When? Then what. Where does this end? At what point is the experiment over? If you’re 35 and like me then an example goal could be:
Over the next 12 months improve my skills with women to the point where I am confident and suave interacting with them. Pull five 22-28 year old, HB7> girls and MLTR them over the course of a few months. Internalize that I am attractive to women. Reduce the quantity of MLTRs and look for long-term potential. Go back to real life.

 

Good luck.

Bhodisatta.

I have not forgotten about Part Three!

A quick note…

I’m not deliberately dragging out the final part of my RJ review it’s just that I’ve been bloody busy the last few weeks and the tiny bit of time I did have to myself I decided would be best spent getting my online dating profile ready and doing a bit of daygame rather than stuck in my room typing.

I hope to finish it this weekend.

Bottom-trawling

The cod fillets I bought in Tesco tonight had “Method of fishing: bottom trawling” marked on the packet. Significant, then, that tonight is the night I finally get sick of fiddling with my profile and put it on the online dating site.

I’m a bit late, I know, but I do have a real job to do. For now…. heh heh. This will be my first go with a normal profile. Not gamey and all true. Let’s see what the net drags in.

Me

I’m a sensitive, determined, strong and quietly charismatic person. Friends tell me I have a really dry sense of humour. I’m fiercely loyal to friends, remorseless to enemies, kind to little dogs. The most important things in my life are my family, my health and my friends.

I recently lived in China for two and a half years and just came back late last year. Living abroad really broadened my horizons; I learned a new language and got to experience a new culture. The first two years were work but after this I took a whole, lovely, year off. I spent time helping two sets of friends set up businesses plus I wrote and illustrated a book for fun. After I came back I spent around five months looking after my dad, who unfortunately is ill. After sorting out care for him and getting him comfy I’ve moved down to London for a job. Like everyone else!

I’m an artistic and creative person. I’ve got a vivid imagination; it’s my dream that one day I’ll be able to use it (for good, not evil). I like to read, even better, I like to write as well. I used to think intelligence was where it was at, but now I’m not so sure; it’s overrated. I think attitude is what counts and I love speaking to people with a dry sense of humour but a really positive attitude.

I love to travel and I plan a lot of it in my future. Let’s go to the Lakes for the weekend. Or India! We’ll backpack for a few weeks then tour around on an old motorcycle. You’ll wear a sari, I’ll grow a moustache. It’ll be an adventure.

Her

You’ll be a nice person with a good sense of humour. I also like women who take care of themselves and wear nice clothes. Femininity is important to me. I like women who are warm, caring, sparkling, sweet and have a ‘good energy’. Polarity between men and women is important. Yin and yang.

I don’t like slobs. If you eat crap, never exercise, smoke or get hammered all the time then it isn’t going to work. I wouldn’t say I pamper myself at all but I appreciate nice food and travelling and you will as well. A bit random this but if you wear spectacles this is a real bonus; I don’t know why but they really do it for me.

I do like smart women, it turns me on, but I’m not into long discussions about politics. I can do that with my friends. I like strong minded women but not the ‘in yer face’ type.

Actress, nerd, dancer, barrister, barista, teacher, doctor, telesales, waitress, nurse I don’t care. It doesn’t really matter does it. You click or you don’t.

You’ll look after yourself and enjoy life. You’ll want someone to experience it with.

Actual, real Game.

Finally I’ve got my arse into gear. It’s been a horrifically long while since I’ve actually, really done some actual real Game, rather than just sit writing enormous reviews of a Ross Jeffries seminar. I’ve been mulling over the whole thing and finally sat down this morning and thought through what I want and how I’m going to get there and the end conclusion was that daygame needs to be a big part of it. In fact by the time I’d finished my big think and getting my frame right I was raring to go.

The goal for the day was to do ten approaches. Say anything; didn’t matter. After such a long layoff just having the nerve to approach would be enough. Gotta break the ice.

14:05: Walked out the house and saw a youngish girl disappearing past me. Ran after her and asked directions. Managed to smile a bit, make a few quips but it was less than smooth. It didn’t hook and my material was lame.

14:12: Asked a fat, average looking blonde on the train if it went to London Bridge. I kind of had to jump up and peer over the seat at her. It was better than it sounded, as it was ‘structurally’ forward of me and showed confidence. As we came into London Brdige she got up to get off and to my horror I realised she wasn’t actually fat but had gigantic porn star sized tits which just billowed out her jacket. Didn’t try to reopen due to the combination of fear, nerves, embarassment, mind gone blank and poor ability to speak to women. In short: chodeness.

14:45: In Trafalgar Square walked alongside a young girl with a bizarre hat and said “I like your hat”. She either doesn’t hear or doesn’t acknkowledge my existence. Weak approach.

15:15: In the café at the National Gallery I notice a girl who is my type. Sexy glasses, got that Spanish/South American look but a bit geeky. Basically like Venezuelan (that I let go) but hotter. She’s deep in conversation with her blonde friend who also looks quite cute. The café is packed. I know I don’t have the chops to do this so get the unexpected thought that I should just go up, but in, compliment them, get them blushing and giggling, then slowly saunter off like Mr Suave. I reject this then go to leave then end up next door in a torment. Part of me thinks this is a challenge of nerves and I should do it as it will make me stronger. The other part of me thinks it’s chodey. Most of me is just scared. I can’t get the thought out of my head that I have to do this to build up my confidence and I’m more scared I don’t have the nerve to do it than I am of doing it. I look into myself for the resources I need. Johnny Wisdom’s voice comes floating back to me….

I slowly look around the café. As I look at each person their face is replaced by my own. Some are young. Some are my age. Some are old, old men with white hair. They’re me. They’re me in forty years time. I look outside. Every passerby has my face. The people driving the cabs are me. I zone out. I imagine every head turning to look at me. I look outside and the pedestrians stop and look in at me. There is silence and they are looking at me. I look up and there are faces at the windows. My face. There are crowds in the street, all with my face at various ages, all looking at me. One voice pipes up, a portly fifty-five year old version of myself. “I am married to a woman I love. I have two children I love and I have two dogs that I love. Life is good.” He looks at me seriously. “To get to this position you need to complete your journey. If you don’t do a thousand approaches you never get the confidence, you never repair the damage and you never find the woman you love and get me here”. He pauses. “The thing is… I have no memory whatsoever of you approaching those two girls. No memory at all. No matter the worst that could happen, the memory will be gone in a few weeks. And you’ll be stronger for it”. “Stronger” all the faces say in booming unison. Another me pipes up: “Yeah… it’s nothing. This is a speck. I’m you in a month and I’m laughing at this. It’s nothing.”. I realise that I need to complete my journey to get where I want to go. The journey consists of a thousand specks. This is a speck.

I take a few level breaths and go for it. Walk up. “Excuse me can I interrupt you for a second”. Now I’m up close I realise these girls are hot. Super hot. Like models. They’re both tens. They are RIDICULOUSLY hot. “Hi there. I saw  you sitting there and I just wanted to say I think you’re really attractive, and your glasses are really sexy”. I’m shitting myself, my hands are shaking and my legs are, but I manage to stay reasonably upright and maintain a semblance of a smile and eye contact. They accept the compliment without question, in fact like this happens all the time. I feel a little cheap. They aren’t blown away. There’s no blushing or flushing. “Obviously this is a crowded café so I can’t really talk to you, see what you’re like, but I just want you to take the compliment and have a great day.”. They say thank you and I try to be as debonair as possible and leave.

When I walk outside I quickly flip all the faces back to my own and imagine them all applauding. I imagine myself in the middle of the pitch of an 80,000 seater football stadium. It’s full of eighty thousand me’s, and I’m being deafened by their applause.

Sure enough, it’s now five hours later and I really don’t give a shit what those girls said, or if they’d been mean to me. I just feel that 0.1% more confident. As Assanova says, the way you get confident is by doing things which you are afraid of. If I did this ten times I wouldn’t be scared anymore, and the reaction would get better and better. Then I could try Gaming them.

15:30: In the Apple store I ‘open’ an assistant. Big deal. The only reason I include it there is I Game her pretty well, ribbing her about her Mohican, ripping the piss out of her American accent when she can’t understand ‘Nike’ unless it’s pronounced ‘Ni-kee’. I boss her about a bit in a teasing way, get a good vibe going. I’m quitely confident she’s a lesbian with the bizarre haircut so I cut and run.

15:45: The classic warm up of pretending to wait for people next to other people who really are waiting for people then saying “Are your friends as late as mine?”. Open a HB5 chink. She likes it but has to split.

15:50: Another chink. I ask her what her Chinese name is to have her explain she’s from New Zealand. She likes me in a studied, non-sexual way but I realise she’s below my scale of acceptability so split.

15:58: A hilarious little Korean guy asks me if I know where the National Garrery is. He’s with another funny little man but they have a cute Jap girl with them. “Yes, I do know where it is” I reply then look away, feigning boredom. The guy finally realises it’s a joke and they all laugh. I move in and hit them with the big guns. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel with an Uzi. It’s total dominance and frame control. How could it not be? They’re all four foot high with hilarious glasses on. I am charming them and making them qualify to me. Little Jap girl gives me an odd look. She sidles closer. She asks me to point something out on the map. She leans right in and while looking at the map puts her head so close against mine her hair is brushing mine and is on my face (she’s standing on the step). Ping! It’s back. I feel it. There is attraction. She gives me another look. Like I am a pie she wants to eat. She’s very close to me. She brushes against me. Oh lord. I really feel it. If the two tiny toy-men weren’t there I’d have extracted her immediately to a café and I get the feeling I’d be writing here about my first daygame K-close. Unfortunately they have to go so I collect emails. This girl will be getting an email. If I can get her back to London I intend to thoroughly fuck her until she dies.

16:20: Stop another chink in the street with “Excuse me, can I ask you something?” then try my attempt at a KDM direct/indirect with “you really look like my friend Jenny from Singapore”. Even as I say this the utter chodiness spreads from my mouth across my face and body like creeping icy death. It’s awful. It kills the vibe. I feel so chodey I let her go.

16:35: By now I don’t give that much of a shit anymore and just want to open my ten sets so I can go eat. Open a nice MILF in Leicester Square only for her husband to appear. Selfish bitch. Talk to them both a bit just practicing being Alpha and dominating an interaction. I do this pretty well and as I leave them they’re beaming and buzzing at my charmingness.

16:40: I’m struggling terribly to find sets. There are no fit white women on their own. In desperation I open a set of quite fit chinks with “Can I ask you something? You totally look like my friend from Shanghai”. It’s chodely. One of them just answers “we’re from Hong Kong” then they walk off. Ugh.

17:00: Spot a white girl and run up and comment on her bag and ask her where the wholefood shop is. She garbles some answer. I realise she’s a skank. She reeks of cigarettes and the years of smoking have taken all the life out of her. Ugh. Not only have I no idea how to create a fun vibe from such openers but she sickens me so I exit.

19:00: I spot a Chinese Kylie Minogue. She’s fucking gorgeous and oh my god the way she walks.. it’s like her arse is chewing bubble gum. With a sexy coat and big fuck-me boots. I’m almost drooling. I tear after her and use a direct opener, the old “I saw you, thought you were gorgeous, just had to talk to you, etc”. She looks at me. Thinks for a second, looks upwards as she mentally translates into English and says “I am not interested in you”. Ow. It hurt. However I’m glad to say my instinctive reaction was to literally snort at her in disbelief and say “.. yeah whatever, well where are you from?”. Ha! My frame held.

19:30: Walking home I recognize the lovely arse of the waitress at my local Vietnamese restaurant. I sidle along and open her and her friend. Tease them a bit. Pinch their umbrella. It’s ok.

Analysis

Rusty and nervy

I’m rusty as fuck. Need more sets. I’m struggling with the non-direct opening style as well. I’m also riddled with nerves and this is killing my ability to think in real time and work the set. Take for example my first set, the Frog that I asked for directions. She told me two things: she was French and she was a dance student. I was too nervous to think straight but in hindsight she has given me a lot here:

You’re from France? Oh god, which part? No way! My ex girlfriend was French.

When I was young my parents used to take me and my little sister camping. We went to the Dordogne. Oh god the countryside was so beautiful. And in the south of France, the beaches, the golden sand. The huge wide beaches, with the beautiful sun beating down on us..

I love French food. What is your favourite food? No! Hang on. What’s your favourite salty food? What about foie gras? How does it taste when it melts in your mouth… it’s amazing isnt’ it?

You’re a dancer? Seriously. What folk dancing? Ha! Joking. No what style? My ex girlfriend was a dancer. She was in that music video. I’ve just started salsa lessons. One of my exes was a ballerina. Seriously. She was so thin but really super pretty.

And on. And on.

The solution? Game more.

Lazy

Fit white women don’t go out when it’s raining. Asian women do. Wannabe PUAs do not, so I had the whole place to myself without a man-bag or Hawaian shirt in sight.

Difficulty

This is fucking hard. I’m 35. I’m trying to stop attractive women in the prime of their lives dead on the street and then using my verbal skills make them find me attractive, then close them. This REALLY hard. This will take at least a thousand approaches. If this was easy everyone would do it. I accept that it is difficult.

KDM

I want the direct/indirect approach model. I desperately want it. I don’t want to have to be telling women they’re gorgeous all the time. I want to be able to approach on the way to work, at lunch time, on the bus, everywhere, without apocalypse openers. Here’s the thing: if you have a weak frame or little experience then direct openers are better. They just get all the cards there on the table to start with and any girl who stays and hooks is attracted. Indirect openers only work if you have a strong frame, lots of experience and are sorted on the inner game front. You have to know what you’re doing. I want the indirect skill. I shall persist with it. It will get easier as I get more relaxed.

The 3-Second Rule

As explained on the RSG bootcamp I attended, this is really one of the most powerful of tools available to the PUA. Seriously. Nearly every approach I did today could have been improved by doing it quicker. Every second you delay you create more tension and nerves. This rule is absolutely critical.

Low energy sexless women

I saw a lot of young girls around today in pairs, mid twenties, slightly better than average looking, zero sexual energy. I see them all the time round where I live as there’s a dance centre near me. They’re young, they’re a little attractive, they’re dancers, and yet they emit all the sexual energy of old librarians. It’s funny, isn’t it, how in our over-titillated, emancipated society a lot of young women have as much sexual energy as a dead dodo, yet you can often see little Japanese tourist girls, from a more conservative, less emancipated society, wandering round with their funny little clothes on and they just drip supercharged feminine sex appeal. As Ross says, “the woman provides the energy in the interaction”. This is true. I have no interest in talking to sexless girls.

Quit the Asian stuff

I have to stop with all of these awful “are you Chinese” openers. Most of the time they aren’t and are offended. Lame. Stop it. Also, stop Gaming Asian chicks. It’s the Herb’s choice. Go white. It’s much harder.

Conclusions

1. More game sir. More sets. Get into the habit of doing a couple of approaches a day on the way to or from work. Jolly good stuff on getting back on track. Well done on the fear-inducing set in the café.
2. I am going to do a super-gay Californian, Ross Jeffries style, daily frame practice. There’s a books worth of material here but in short I want to be more centred. I want to be more grounded in myself and sure of my opinions. I want to be more solid in my desires. How do you actually make this happen? How do you become, say 100% sure of yourself rather than 70%. One technique is through ritual reinforcement. It’s like the energy drills people teach. It’s like meditation. It’s a way to reprogram your reptilian brain. What you do is make a little ritual. A circle you step in , look in the mirror, whatever. You do this and say out loud and tell yourself what you believe. You do this often. You take it seriously. It makes you stronger.
3. I am going to daily spend Z minutes literally speaking out loud and practicing my approaches and my material. I’m constantliy cacking it I am going to “run out of material” so I’m going to learn some by rote. The ultimate aim is to be able to vibe and totally be in the moment, but it’s still good to have a load of stuff memorized until you can get to that level.

The Krauser Daygame Model

Krauser, Trafalgar Square’s number one PUA and man twice voted “Person most likely to get thrown out of a Cafe Nero for sexually interfering with women”, has recently published his ‘Daygame Model’ on his site. I strongly recommend you check it out. Krauser’s Game has come on leaps and bounds this year and he now enjoys consistent success from daygame and has an enviable skill level, frame and results.

I’ve read the KDM and think it’s great. It’s one of the few daygame models I’ve seen which is integrated and covers the whole thing from end to end. It’s sophisticated. The article is a little small and rushed but I secretly hope Krauser is busy writing this all into a book and expanding it.

The reason I’m interested in the KDM is because I want the indirect style he uses. To me, this style will fit the most easily into my day to day life. I think the model is great and it’s really consistent from end to end. It’s integrated. However, just going off the current article some of it confused me a bit, especially steps 4, 5 and 6, which I just couldn’t get my head around. Eventually I think I got it so I made my own little personal summary of the KDM, a cheat-sheet if you will, and this is what I printed off and took daygaming with me. It’s my own interpretation of it so is sculpted for my own personal slant, so bear this in mind. Go look at the original.

KDM for Bhodisatta

0>Approach

Have fun. Be in a good state.

1>Opening

It took me ages to work out what he was on about here but I think this is it: There are three parts, which are all connected into one opening statement.

1. Hook tease
2. Observation pull
3. Tease push

Some examples:

Hook tease

A) can i say something?

B) can i give you a compliment?

C)how good is your english?

Observation pull

A)you remind me of someone

B)i like your style

C)you’re really cute

Tease push

A)…an ex girlfriend. she was a bitch.

B)…it’s weird. weird but cool.

C)…like bugs bunny.

So you’d string them all together, like say:

“Can I say something? You look like my ex girlfriend. She was a model. Bit of a bitch.. but never mind” or

“Can I give you a compliment? I like your style. It’s weird, but cool.”

etc

2>Conversational lead question

Get the conversation going:

• you’re foreign?
• why are you in town today?

exit point: she hooks or doesn’t.

3>Plough

• Fluff for a few minutes.
• No massive DHV.
• Rapport.
• Let her speak.

exit point: Look for her rooted in interaction.

4>Vibe

• Pull her into world of the fun interaction.
• Light tease, future projection, sexualisation
• Fun DHV stacks and bio info.

exit point: she smiles and tries to add own value

5>Invest

• Flip script GRADUALLY.
• Dial down energy. Lower vocal tone. Sexualised eye contact.
• Reward her investment with nods.
• Challenge her statements.

exit point: she has accepted you as her boss

6>Commit

• Get her to leave her old world behind.
• Go for the Instant date. Keep it natural.

exit point: she goes for the instant date

7>Deep rapport (you’re on the instant date now)

• no kino: she is chasing you
• 80% comfort, 15% attraction(chick crack) 5% sexualisation

exit point: she’s totally comfortable and into you

8>Escalation

You’re escalating here. This is just how I’d do it but you may do differently:

• RJ SS style stuff.
• NLP Patterns.
• Talk of childhood. Framing patterns.
• How did you feel when x? What felt good?
• Future projection of both together, on holiday, etc
• Sexual intent: tell her. Tell her you want to fuck her and she wants it and it’s natural.

exit point: her eyes spazz. feel the spark in the air. etc.

9>Close

Snog her, finger her then fuck her in the toilets.

Goals

As a following post will show I did my first daygame in a long while today. Before I did so I sat down and had a long, hard think. The thing is, I didn’t actually want to do daygame. It’s difficult and draining in the early stages, say for the first….oh… thousand approaches. My reptilian brain certainly does not like to do difficult, draining things. As per usual when faced with the prospect of a day’s game all of the old thought patterns popped up:

• this is pointless
• you’ll never succeed, you’ll just waste months of free time
• why are you doing this?

etc. Personally I don’t trust my reptilian brain. It’s lazy and stupid and is a creature of habit, sticking to what it knows regardless of whether that’s the right thing for me or not. So I sat, concentrated, and thought through the whole life plan and worked out where I’m going and why I need to do daygame.

Bhodisatta’s Goals

• Ultimately find a great woman, fall in love, get married, have two children and two dogs.
• Gain enough success with women to put to rest the demons of a lifetime of (almost) failure with women and remove the cancerous, gnawing sense of bitterness which would only get worse.
• Remove all social conditioning around talking and approaching people so I can live a rich life of constant interaction with all the people around me. I want to be able to talk to anyone, anywhere, and regularly talk to hot women all over the place. These people skills would let me be at home anywhere in the world and make friends anywhere.

Which can be broken down into three stages:

First stage

• Get better at Game to the point where I have MLTR’s going on with numerous, hot (enough for me), young (enough for me) women.
• I’ve internalized that I can do this and am attractive.
• Women and sex are a part of my life.

Second stage

• Dating awesome girls.
• Internalize that I am normal, high value and date high value women

Third stage

Marry one. Spawn. Get dogs.

Plan

It’s all my fault. If my inner game was sorted then I’d be pulling attractive women.

On the good side I’m well on the way already.

First off we simultaneously..

1. Day2 and attraction-building practice: use online dating as a Day2 Dojo.
2. Frame control practice. Message chicks on various dating sites practicing my frame control.
3. Day game: this is where the high-value women will come from.

Need to do a serious amount of work here. Probably another 900 approaches, or say 90ish ‘approach blocks’. Maybe more, maybe less.

1 Approach Block =

10 approaches with a close or some interaction built with at least one

1 instant date

this isn’t precise, but you get the idea: it’s not just raw numbers here, it’s results.

Bargame: useful for pinging yourself and helping with inner game. Ultimately unproductive for closing. No desire to bother getting good at bargame.

Plan

I’ve been reading a book about heart rate training recently and have found the discussion of periodization with macrocycles and mesocycles (the small cycles within the macrocycle) very useful. It can be applied to a Game-plan.

Macrocyle 1: Oct – Nov 2010

Aims:

1. Begin daily and weekly practice of firming up inner resolve and becoming more grounded.
2. Get back into Game.
3. Get laid with any girl. An inbetweener is fine. Get regular sex off her. Adjust to this.
4. Secretly continue other dates plus daygame
5. Develop indirect daygame style.
6. One or two Day2’s from daygame.
7. Start Salsa dancing
8. Lose weight
9. Look for quality wings. Encourage friends who need this to see the light.

Weekly Mesocycle: Two Day2’s per week. Twenty daygame approaches per week, more and more of these indirect on daily commute.

Macrocyle 2: Dec, Jan, poss Feb 2011

Aims:

1. Lots of time reading and reflecting and meditating. Solidify who I am.
2. Total Game immersion. Massive improvements in Day2 and daygame skills.
3. Regular instant dates. Day2’s from daygame.
4. First close of high(ish) value girls.
5. Aim to get 1 better quality girl as girlfriend.
6. Hit the weights. Circuit train. Get in awesome shape. Tanned. New wardrobe.
7. Take boxing lessons to help me man-up.

Weekly Mesocyle: Hammer the online dating sites. Try to do 1 date per day. Daygame every day. Possibly bargame sessions to assist with inner-game.

Macrocyle 3:Feb, Mar, April 2011

Back to (real) work.

See where I am after the sabbatical.

Aims:

1. Now have a high(ish) value HB on the go. For me that would be a 24-28 year old HB8 (and I don’t bother including models, etc in my scale so this may be HB7 in other people’s book). Have unrecognizably improved Day2 and daygame skills. Can approach indirect every day without qualm.
2. Continued Day2’s, either from online or daygame
3. Continued skill improvement.

Macrocyle 4: May, June, July 2011

Aims:

1. Seeking more high(er) value MLTRs
2. As Summer comes in start hitting the daygame hard.
3. Aim to be a whoremongering pimp with multiple, Krauser-style MTLRs on the go.

August 2011 onwards

• Big sabbatical starts. Have to see where I am by here…
• May not have reached all my goals as above. May work on them.
• If I have reached goal 3 above then start to look for a proper girlfriend.
• Or may fuck off travelling and write a book.
• Or may stay in London and try and have fourteen girlfriends at once.
• Or may have to go home care for a sick relative and live away from it all up North. Hey ho..

Disclaimer: if at any point I find one girl who I like enough to stop caring about other ones then I’m going to run with it.