Home > General > Actual, real Game.

Actual, real Game.

Finally I’ve got my arse into gear. It’s been a horrifically long while since I’ve actually, really done some actual real Game, rather than just sit writing enormous reviews of a Ross Jeffries seminar. I’ve been mulling over the whole thing and finally sat down this morning and thought through what I want and how I’m going to get there and the end conclusion was that daygame needs to be a big part of it. In fact by the time I’d finished my big think and getting my frame right I was raring to go.

The goal for the day was to do ten approaches. Say anything; didn’t matter. After such a long layoff just having the nerve to approach would be enough. Gotta break the ice.

14:05: Walked out the house and saw a youngish girl disappearing past me. Ran after her and asked directions. Managed to smile a bit, make a few quips but it was less than smooth. It didn’t hook and my material was lame.

14:12: Asked a fat, average looking blonde on the train if it went to London Bridge. I kind of had to jump up and peer over the seat at her. It was better than it sounded, as it was ‘structurally’ forward of me and showed confidence. As we came into London Brdige she got up to get off and to my horror I realised she wasn’t actually fat but had gigantic porn star sized tits which just billowed out her jacket. Didn’t try to reopen due to the combination of fear, nerves, embarassment, mind gone blank and poor ability to speak to women. In short: chodeness.

14:45: In Trafalgar Square walked alongside a young girl with a bizarre hat and said “I like your hat”. She either doesn’t hear or doesn’t acknkowledge my existence. Weak approach.

15:15: In the café at the National Gallery I notice a girl who is my type. Sexy glasses, got that Spanish/South American look but a bit geeky. Basically like Venezuelan (that I let go) but hotter. She’s deep in conversation with her blonde friend who also looks quite cute. The café is packed. I know I don’t have the chops to do this so get the unexpected thought that I should just go up, but in, compliment them, get them blushing and giggling, then slowly saunter off like Mr Suave. I reject this then go to leave then end up next door in a torment. Part of me thinks this is a challenge of nerves and I should do it as it will make me stronger. The other part of me thinks it’s chodey. Most of me is just scared. I can’t get the thought out of my head that I have to do this to build up my confidence and I’m more scared I don’t have the nerve to do it than I am of doing it. I look into myself for the resources I need. Johnny Wisdom’s voice comes floating back to me….

I slowly look around the café. As I look at each person their face is replaced by my own. Some are young. Some are my age. Some are old, old men with white hair. They’re me. They’re me in forty years time. I look outside. Every passerby has my face. The people driving the cabs are me. I zone out. I imagine every head turning to look at me. I look outside and the pedestrians stop and look in at me. There is silence and they are looking at me. I look up and there are faces at the windows. My face. There are crowds in the street, all with my face at various ages, all looking at me. One voice pipes up, a portly fifty-five year old version of myself. “I am married to a woman I love. I have two children I love and I have two dogs that I love. Life is good.” He looks at me seriously. “To get to this position you need to complete your journey. If you don’t do a thousand approaches you never get the confidence, you never repair the damage and you never find the woman you love and get me here”. He pauses. “The thing is… I have no memory whatsoever of you approaching those two girls. No memory at all. No matter the worst that could happen, the memory will be gone in a few weeks. And you’ll be stronger for it”. “Stronger” all the faces say in booming unison. Another me pipes up: “Yeah… it’s nothing. This is a speck. I’m you in a month and I’m laughing at this. It’s nothing.”. I realise that I need to complete my journey to get where I want to go. The journey consists of a thousand specks. This is a speck.

I take a few level breaths and go for it. Walk up. “Excuse me can I interrupt you for a second”. Now I’m up close I realise these girls are hot. Super hot. Like models. They’re both tens. They are RIDICULOUSLY hot. “Hi there. I saw  you sitting there and I just wanted to say I think you’re really attractive, and your glasses are really sexy”. I’m shitting myself, my hands are shaking and my legs are, but I manage to stay reasonably upright and maintain a semblance of a smile and eye contact. They accept the compliment without question, in fact like this happens all the time. I feel a little cheap. They aren’t blown away. There’s no blushing or flushing. “Obviously this is a crowded café so I can’t really talk to you, see what you’re like, but I just want you to take the compliment and have a great day.”. They say thank you and I try to be as debonair as possible and leave.

When I walk outside I quickly flip all the faces back to my own and imagine them all applauding. I imagine myself in the middle of the pitch of an 80,000 seater football stadium. It’s full of eighty thousand me’s, and I’m being deafened by their applause.

Sure enough, it’s now five hours later and I really don’t give a shit what those girls said, or if they’d been mean to me. I just feel that 0.1% more confident. As Assanova says, the way you get confident is by doing things which you are afraid of. If I did this ten times I wouldn’t be scared anymore, and the reaction would get better and better. Then I could try Gaming them.

15:30: In the Apple store I ‘open’ an assistant. Big deal. The only reason I include it there is I Game her pretty well, ribbing her about her Mohican, ripping the piss out of her American accent when she can’t understand ‘Nike’ unless it’s pronounced ‘Ni-kee’. I boss her about a bit in a teasing way, get a good vibe going. I’m quitely confident she’s a lesbian with the bizarre haircut so I cut and run.

15:45: The classic warm up of pretending to wait for people next to other people who really are waiting for people then saying “Are your friends as late as mine?”. Open a HB5 chink. She likes it but has to split.

15:50: Another chink. I ask her what her Chinese name is to have her explain she’s from New Zealand. She likes me in a studied, non-sexual way but I realise she’s below my scale of acceptability so split.

15:58: A hilarious little Korean guy asks me if I know where the National Garrery is. He’s with another funny little man but they have a cute Jap girl with them. “Yes, I do know where it is” I reply then look away, feigning boredom. The guy finally realises it’s a joke and they all laugh. I move in and hit them with the big guns. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel with an Uzi. It’s total dominance and frame control. How could it not be? They’re all four foot high with hilarious glasses on. I am charming them and making them qualify to me. Little Jap girl gives me an odd look. She sidles closer. She asks me to point something out on the map. She leans right in and while looking at the map puts her head so close against mine her hair is brushing mine and is on my face (she’s standing on the step). Ping! It’s back. I feel it. There is attraction. She gives me another look. Like I am a pie she wants to eat. She’s very close to me. She brushes against me. Oh lord. I really feel it. If the two tiny toy-men weren’t there I’d have extracted her immediately to a café and I get the feeling I’d be writing here about my first daygame K-close. Unfortunately they have to go so I collect emails. This girl will be getting an email. If I can get her back to London I intend to thoroughly fuck her until she dies.

16:20: Stop another chink in the street with “Excuse me, can I ask you something?” then try my attempt at a KDM direct/indirect with “you really look like my friend Jenny from Singapore”. Even as I say this the utter chodiness spreads from my mouth across my face and body like creeping icy death. It’s awful. It kills the vibe. I feel so chodey I let her go.

16:35: By now I don’t give that much of a shit anymore and just want to open my ten sets so I can go eat. Open a nice MILF in Leicester Square only for her husband to appear. Selfish bitch. Talk to them both a bit just practicing being Alpha and dominating an interaction. I do this pretty well and as I leave them they’re beaming and buzzing at my charmingness.

16:40: I’m struggling terribly to find sets. There are no fit white women on their own. In desperation I open a set of quite fit chinks with “Can I ask you something? You totally look like my friend from Shanghai”. It’s chodely. One of them just answers “we’re from Hong Kong” then they walk off. Ugh.

17:00: Spot a white girl and run up and comment on her bag and ask her where the wholefood shop is. She garbles some answer. I realise she’s a skank. She reeks of cigarettes and the years of smoking have taken all the life out of her. Ugh. Not only have I no idea how to create a fun vibe from such openers but she sickens me so I exit.

19:00: I spot a Chinese Kylie Minogue. She’s fucking gorgeous and oh my god the way she walks.. it’s like her arse is chewing bubble gum. With a sexy coat and big fuck-me boots. I’m almost drooling. I tear after her and use a direct opener, the old “I saw you, thought you were gorgeous, just had to talk to you, etc”. She looks at me. Thinks for a second, looks upwards as she mentally translates into English and says “I am not interested in you”. Ow. It hurt. However I’m glad to say my instinctive reaction was to literally snort at her in disbelief and say “.. yeah whatever, well where are you from?”. Ha! My frame held.

19:30: Walking home I recognize the lovely arse of the waitress at my local Vietnamese restaurant. I sidle along and open her and her friend. Tease them a bit. Pinch their umbrella. It’s ok.

Analysis

Rusty and nervy

I’m rusty as fuck. Need more sets. I’m struggling with the non-direct opening style as well. I’m also riddled with nerves and this is killing my ability to think in real time and work the set. Take for example my first set, the Frog that I asked for directions. She told me two things: she was French and she was a dance student. I was too nervous to think straight but in hindsight she has given me a lot here:

You’re from France? Oh god, which part? No way! My ex girlfriend was French.

When I was young my parents used to take me and my little sister camping. We went to the Dordogne. Oh god the countryside was so beautiful. And in the south of France, the beaches, the golden sand. The huge wide beaches, with the beautiful sun beating down on us..

I love French food. What is your favourite food? No! Hang on. What’s your favourite salty food? What about foie gras? How does it taste when it melts in your mouth… it’s amazing isnt’ it?

You’re a dancer? Seriously. What folk dancing? Ha! Joking. No what style? My ex girlfriend was a dancer. She was in that music video. I’ve just started salsa lessons. One of my exes was a ballerina. Seriously. She was so thin but really super pretty.

And on. And on.

The solution? Game more.

Lazy

Fit white women don’t go out when it’s raining. Asian women do. Wannabe PUAs do not, so I had the whole place to myself without a man-bag or Hawaian shirt in sight.

Difficulty

This is fucking hard. I’m 35. I’m trying to stop attractive women in the prime of their lives dead on the street and then using my verbal skills make them find me attractive, then close them. This REALLY hard. This will take at least a thousand approaches. If this was easy everyone would do it. I accept that it is difficult.

KDM

I want the direct/indirect approach model. I desperately want it. I don’t want to have to be telling women they’re gorgeous all the time. I want to be able to approach on the way to work, at lunch time, on the bus, everywhere, without apocalypse openers. Here’s the thing: if you have a weak frame or little experience then direct openers are better. They just get all the cards there on the table to start with and any girl who stays and hooks is attracted. Indirect openers only work if you have a strong frame, lots of experience and are sorted on the inner game front. You have to know what you’re doing. I want the indirect skill. I shall persist with it. It will get easier as I get more relaxed.

The 3-Second Rule

As explained on the RSG bootcamp I attended, this is really one of the most powerful of tools available to the PUA. Seriously. Nearly every approach I did today could have been improved by doing it quicker. Every second you delay you create more tension and nerves. This rule is absolutely critical.

Low energy sexless women

I saw a lot of young girls around today in pairs, mid twenties, slightly better than average looking, zero sexual energy. I see them all the time round where I live as there’s a dance centre near me. They’re young, they’re a little attractive, they’re dancers, and yet they emit all the sexual energy of old librarians. It’s funny, isn’t it, how in our over-titillated, emancipated society a lot of young women have as much sexual energy as a dead dodo, yet you can often see little Japanese tourist girls, from a more conservative, less emancipated society, wandering round with their funny little clothes on and they just drip supercharged feminine sex appeal. As Ross says, “the woman provides the energy in the interaction”. This is true. I have no interest in talking to sexless girls.

Quit the Asian stuff

I have to stop with all of these awful “are you Chinese” openers. Most of the time they aren’t and are offended. Lame. Stop it. Also, stop Gaming Asian chicks. It’s the Herb’s choice. Go white. It’s much harder.

Conclusions

  1. More game sir. More sets. Get into the habit of doing a couple of approaches a day on the way to or from work. Jolly good stuff on getting back on track. Well done on the fear-inducing set in the café.
  2. I am going to do a super-gay Californian, Ross Jeffries style, daily frame practice. There’s a books worth of material here but in short I want to be more centred. I want to be more grounded in myself and sure of my opinions. I want to be more solid in my desires. How do you actually make this happen? How do you become, say 100% sure of yourself rather than 70%. One technique is through ritual reinforcement. It’s like the energy drills people teach. It’s like meditation. It’s a way to reprogram your reptilian brain. What you do is make a little ritual. A circle you step in , look in the mirror, whatever. You do this and say out loud and tell yourself what you believe. You do this often. You take it seriously. It makes you stronger.
  3. I am going to daily spend Z minutes literally speaking out loud and practicing my approaches and my material. I’m constantliy cacking it I am going to “run out of material” so I’m going to learn some by rote. The ultimate aim is to be able to vibe and totally be in the moment, but it’s still good to have a load of stuff memorized until you can get to that level.
Categories: General
  1. Jason
    October 3, 2010 at 2:10 pm | #1

    I feel your pain man, I am in the same boat. I’ll be 38 later this year, and your motivational piece at the beginning really hit home for me. I left Frankfurt at the end of August, and leading up to that I had stopped day gaming to focus more on getting my own shit together.

    So now I am here in Montreal, and I haven’t approached in any number in months.

    Strangely, I can still do night game (although I’m no fucking good at it), but I need to get out and approach during the day. Got to get back in the groove. A little easier said than done when you’re sitting at your home office all day working on your business. :)

    Anyway man, respect. Keep it up, you’ve got at least one guy rooting for you.

    • Tim
      October 3, 2010 at 4:20 pm | #2

      Jason, what are you doing in Montreal and what’s the potential there (for day gaming) versus the other cities you’ve lived in? I’m under the impression that it’s a lot cheaper than my city (Cambridge/Boston) but I’ve got no French skills. If I could find a cheap but great city I’d consider quitting work and moving to do game.

      • Jason
        October 3, 2010 at 7:22 pm | #3

        Ya, it’s a great city for day game.

        I’ve been to Stockholm and it’s pretty much the best city in the world that I’ve seen as far as beautiful women. Montreal is like that but with brunettes instead of blondes. Also, there are black women here – pretty rare in Sweden.

        I’m running my own biz here – doing social game development. There’s lots of work here for computer skilled people, and your info is correct – it’s very cheap to live here. Probably one of the cheapest places in Canada actually. My business partner lived comfortable as a freelance artist on $10k gross last year.

        You don’t actually need French unless you’re going to work for the government or a company that requires you to be bilingual.

  2. Tim
    October 3, 2010 at 4:18 pm | #4

    “Even as I say this the utter chodiness spreads from my mouth across my face and body like creeping icy death. It’s awful. It kills the vibe. I feel so chodey I let her go.”

    Almost spit out my morning coffee with this one. I know the feeling exactly.

    “This is fucking hard. I’m 35. I’m trying to stop attractive women in the prime of their lives dead on the street and then using my verbal skills make them find me attractive, then close them. This REALLY hard. This will take at least a thousand approaches.”

    Keep doing it, Man! If I’d started at age 35 (rather than 40 though fortunately blessed with young looks) I’m convinced I’d be in a different place by now. You’ve got a little time, and obviously, smarts. You can conquer that nervous system of yours.

    • bhodisatta
      October 5, 2010 at 8:28 pm | #5

      There’s always someone 5 years older than you cursing that they didn’t start when you did. Just be thankful you’re not 50.
      First step, work out what you really, really want and be realistic. Write it down in less than a hundred words. Get your priorities right. Be logical. Make a plan. Don’t become obsessed that you have to give up work and ‘do game full time’. I’m not giving up work, my plan is cunning, and I thought about it a long time.

  3. jimmyjambone
    December 23, 2010 at 7:09 pm | #6

    Bhodi, this was interesting. I thought your game had got pretty tight. Let’s go out in the new year together, film some infields. From what you say, you’re close to doing quite well.

    The analysis – Rusty and Nervy, about stacking into DHV stories – When I was young my parents used to take me and my little sister camping. We went to the Dordogne. Oh god the countryside was so beautiful. And in the south of France, the beaches, the golden sand. The huge wide beaches, with the beautiful sun beating down on us.

    That’s it, that’s all you have to do. Do that and you’ve got it. This is mine and Burto’s game probably 90%.

    • bhodisatta
      December 26, 2010 at 8:49 pm | #7

      Jimmy, that post was written over 2 months ago which given how fast things seem to be changing in my head at the minute feels like it was 2 years ago! Thanks for the props: I feel like I’m close to breaking point as well…
      Will give you a bell soon, I’m definitely up for some infields. About time this blog had some!

  4. Glenn
    March 17, 2011 at 2:21 pm | #8

    haha oh ok so anyone who has the balls to approach beautiful women and state their interest and intent has a ‘weak’ frame and doesnt know shit what theyre doing..? just cuz youre direct success is just a fail, being a ‘PUA’ are two different things but hey…w/e u think.

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