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One-to-one #2

Last Friday saw me take my second one-to-one with Wisdom and Suave from RSG. I decided that building momentum was very important in my current phase so I negotiated a deal with the guys and have block booked four sessions, Friday being the first.

My goals for the evening were to work on my AA further and do ten approaches within the 3 hour session. As a secondary goal I also wanted to work a little, if possible, on building the post-approach interaction.

I have started to think in more depth now about building the interaction and I actually prepared a little structured routine for use. I’d recommend any newbie do the same. Don’t make it too complex but just something simple like:

Approach: have 2 approaches you’re comfortable with (e.g. Hi! I’m dan)

Hook: 1-2 things to say to qualify you being there or spike their interest (e.g. : you look like good friends. so who’s the shy one?)

Conversation: Yes, yes it should ultimately be ‘build attraction’ or ‘vibe’ but as a newbie I think ‘conversation’ is a better goal. I have just prepared 4 conversation set-pieces which I can keep and pull out as required. These are not literally lists of topic ideas but more rounded conversation set pieces designed to be interactive and build a conversational dynamic. (e.g. a Values Elicitation discussion or a threaded opinion story).

I’d also prepare a little list of techniques to kind of work on at the same time if you are able:

Eye contact

Big smile

Loud voice

Body language

Kino

DHV

etc

So, we went to the first bar. Same place as last time but I’m familiar with it. There were plenty of sets but I immediately broke my 3 second rule and pontificated quite a long time before doing the first. In actual fact Wisdom just got me to ask a mixed set who the current song was by. That kind of loosened me up a bit so with some further steeling up I did my first set. Went pretty well. A fat, pretty American girl and her plain British friend. They were keen to talk and very friendly. I was in set about 15 minutes and left of my own accord. The guys said that the cute one was giving me a few subtle IOIs which is great from a first set. They also praised me and said to stay in set so long for a first set is a good acheivement. I think if the atmosphere is low energy and the girls are fairly receptive that is one of my strong points, that I can stay in set a long time. Building attraction is another thing, though.

We’d already noticed a two set at a table who’d been drinking cocktails. One left to go to the loo so after some encouragement I went and opened the other with ‘thought I’d keep you company while you’re waiting for your friend’, then made a joke about her eating all the tortillas before her friend got back. Was fairly well received and I sat myself down. Friend came back and she was a mid-30’s, slightly weathered, scrawny, frizzy haired Antipodean. Uh-oh. Gave me a kind of suspicious look but I managed to draw her in and get a few smiles and laughs.

Off to the next bar. This was much higher enery and really packed. My state wasn’t really that high but I felt a bit more ‘flowing’ than earlier or even than the previous week. Suave spotted a 3 set in the corner who were being kind of fenced in by chodes doing their “let’s dance next to girls to make them like us” stuff. I squeezed past them and introduced myself. By now I was back on my favourite opener:

“Hi, I noticed you guys and thought you looked quite cool so I thought I’d come talk to you”.

Pretty straightforward isn’t it! I really think “openers” are the least important yet most over-discussed part of game.

This set went OK but I was peeved to notice two girls immediately turn away from me to resume conversation leaving just one to talk to me. Suave said afterwards this was “self isolation” and that they had already assessed me, found me value enough to proceed and isolated themselves to give me a chance with their friend. Nice! I’ve seen this happene before and now it explains it. So the secret women mind-signals work both ways: they can cast you out in a fraction of a second or cockblock you, or alternatively if you are high value they can disappear to give you a chance at the prize. Interesting. Talked to this girl for a bit. She was British and white so I was less comfortable than normal due to my massive baggage in this area but I tried my best and it went fairly well. It ended on a “catch you later” which is a good sign.

The next set I opened was a challenge. A big group of about seven girls all drunk and having high-energy fun. It was tough but a good learning experience. I was teasing one of them and asking her to do some breakdance when their eyes lit up and they turned on me and demanded I do breakdancing. It was like human sacrifice. I made whiney excuses then did some silly robotics lame moves to try and placate them. MISTAKE. Not like they lynched me or anything but my value dropped and I definitely failed a shit-test. As Suave/Wisdom said the best move would have been to either not do it at all, or do it but in a facetious way which disprespects the demand. I finished up by fulfilling a challenge Wisdom had set me, namely to ask a girl if she’d played the game Mousetrap. I thought this was lame and would produce scorn but to my surprise it got a great reaction. Two girls started talking about the game and how infuriating it was. “Commonalities which appear to be unique” Wisdom called it. Everyone has played Mousetrap.

After this the guys wanted me to open a girl on her own but when I got close I saw the tattoos and weird skanky look and bottled it. Mistake. The whole idea is to open people you are not comfortable with. Idiot!

The next set was a 3 set and a few interesting things went down. Firstly when I opened the quite attractive older oz girl immediately said “we’ve all got boyfriends!” which surprised me. I acted all shocked and told them I was just Mr Social and not trying to chat anyone up. Kind of true really at present. Ok the two interesting things. First off when I opened the oz girl had no attraction for me. However her friend complained I shook her hand too hard.. this led to a discussion of my hands being small for my size.. thankfully no old-wives tales were brought up but the oz girl held up her hand to compare and we did the hand pressing thing. I looked her in the eyes and something, somewhere flickered for a second. I then asked her to play mercy and we started the old hand-squeeze game. She was really strong and we were laughing and shoving each other about. I then got her to pull a pose and felt her (incredibly toned) biceps. Suddenly from this minute of physical contact… BANG. I felt she was attracted to me. I could kind of feel it in the air. Very, very interesting. Just a few looks, a feeling. It was great. That few seconds was a revelation to me. I didn’t really follow up though, basically because I’m not yet sure how to play the set long term and maintain and guide attraction and state so I made my excuses and left, saying I would meet her later on.

The other interesting thing was that while this had been going on right next to us was a total stud guy. He was huge and very muscular and leaning in the most Alpha way possible against a pillar. He had a 3 set of plump little British girls competing for him! Brilliant. I bet he was the one that opened them as well, and managed to manoevre himself there. Anyway as he’s there with massive social proof the black girl in my set kind of freaks out and can’t stand it anymore and rushes over to the other set and starts AFOG’ing them and kinoing the Stud Guy. He’s a fu**king player! A great example to me of classic PUA tactics working in action.

My second last set was the worst. Late 30’s feck ugly British skank with her awful plump little mate. The skank actually stood back and gave me a look of total disdain when I opened. They humoured me for a minute then she said “look we’re actually having a really detailed conversation…”. I did my ‘no problem’ bit and left. Probably did it a bit too Beta-ery but will work on that next time.

The last set was the best. Two Italians and a Columbian girl seated. They seemed incredibly grateful to have a guy come talk to them. They were all good looking as well which made it weirder. They were charming, cute, warm and friendly. I gave a signal and got Wisdom and Suave onboard as the set was going really well. I didn’t pull any major game except teasing them a little bit and saying they looked like cartoon characters. At one point in the conversation my patter died so I lamely just simply said “I used to work in China”, the least subtle DHV ever but holey smoke it worked and they were straight in, fascinated, asking me questions. The fittest one was staring straight at me throughout the whole thing. Finished with a group Facebook close and left. Awesome.

Results

  • My pre-prepared conversational structure was reasonably useful but quite often went out of the window. Still useful to have lists of pre-prepared pieces though.
  • I still have AA.
  • Game is SO women-dependant. Amazing how the vile skanks blew me out yet the gorgeous Colombo-Italians welcomed me.
  • I am becoming much more aware of ‘the matrix’. In the bar I could see social dynamics I previously couldn’t. I could see the Chode Crystal. I could see the AFCs staring at the sets. Big, massive, cool black dudes too scared to approach little girls. I could see high energy and low energy parts of the bar.
  • The instant attraction with the Oz girl was a new experience for me. Wow! I can’t remember doing that before. Holy sh!t this is like magic. It’s all there in the literature, the importance of kino and control and body language but until you experience it you just don’t get it. From now on I am going to be more aware of this and if I get the chance experiment more with kino and physical control, as I do believe now it plays a major part in instant s8xual chemistry.
  • My state was not as high as the previous session but my game was better. As the trainers put it I ‘vibed’ more. I was more relaxed and definitely my conversational skills are getting better with each session.
  • State and energy are fascinating. As Tyler says, if you see some girls at energy level X then unless you are offering a higher energy level you are unlikely to get success. I can now see how this is true.

Conclusions

  • I’m learning a LOT. I am changing from one session to the next.
  • The sessions are having effect. Even though I still have AA it is slightly diminishing. It is a few percent less than after the previous one-to-one, definitely. I also did not really have to do my visualization exercise to anywhere near as deep as the previous session. Maybe 25% as deep. I think I am getting tired of AA! My stand-up-comedy teacher actually said something similar. She said eventually you just get tired of the neves and don’t have the energy for it anymore (the nerves).
  • Warm up sets are good.
  • There are different types of game. There is low energy, conversational based and there is high-energy stuff. I am currently much more low-energy.
  • I am revising my goals which I only recently set. I am no longer going to push just for numbers of approaches. This is a nonsense. I am going to look at quality of interaction. If I get blowouts then fair enough get my 10 per session in, but one quality interaction with a N-close is worth ten blowouts. From now on the goals change.
  • Game is hard. I am only now starting to really internalize how hard game is. Harder than playing the piano. Harder than learning a language. This is going to take YEARS. I want more than ever to get to where I’m going. I am going to step up the training. I want to be building up and doing more and more. I need to be going out at least TWICE per week and doing game each night. Ontop of this I need to be getting in one daygame session a week in. As well as this I want to , over time, start to build in daily conversational skills and get to the stage where I am talking to dozens of people, of all shapes and sizes, as part of my daily commute and life..

Last conclusion is a biggie. Analyzing my sets from last night I realised that the most difficult ones were the British women. Given my mate has just had an awful experience with a foul time-wasting Mancunian girl it would be very easy for me at this point to start to let little traces of anglo-hate creep in. I MUST NOT forget, the point of this is to give western women a chance. I was talking about this today with someone and I put it this way:

Say 75% of UK women are horrible bitches. Say it’s true. Well if you let it ‘get to you’ then you will become filled with negative thoughts and it will prejudice your chance to get one of the good 25%.

This so true. I HAVE to disregard these premature conclusions. I must keep an open mind. No conclusions allowed until six months time otherwise my great experiment will not work!

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