Home > General > Dater baiter

Dater baiter

Seriously. This all begins a while back when Jimmy Jambone at RSG mails me and asks if he can use my “real” profile on his online dating account. Just to remind you it goes like this:

******************************************

The Reality

Me

  • Thirty five but younger at heart than you.
  • A bit fat but in a 1950′s bodybuilder style. Big. Strong. Can kill Betas.
  • Scary clever.
  • Twisted, sick fuck.
  • Low expectations of this process. Goal is to cruelly use the dating site to get lots of day2 practice in and obtain a ‘girlfriend’ who is in fact a dependable source of regular sex. This will alter my phermones and body language, get the sex monkey off my back and really help my game and my main goal of getting a really hot or many really hot youngish women with fabulous bodies to fuck me as much as possible and put to rest the demons of a lifetime of failure with women.
  • As fit as humanely possible. Body more important than face by far. Fat is only ok if you have great D cup tits, at least. Small tits only acceptable with a good arse. I don’t actually expect you to be that fit. I’m realistic. You may have been fit earlier when you were 20 but now you may be 35 and losing it. Nevertheless as long as I am able to obtain some sexual gratification from you I will consider you. I, too, am 35 but I am a man so I do not go off the boil like you do.
  • Intelligence not important. I’ll fuck you if you’re an idiot if you’re fun to be with.
  • You shouldn’t have an unreal sense of your own self value. This means if your looks are a 6, as are mine, then your actual value will be half of mine because I am fucking clever and brilliant and you are likely to be quite pedestrian. In this circumstance you will be attractive to me by creating polarity and this is done by being girly and feminine, not by arguing with me.
  • You should also not have really low self esteem and be whiney, insecure or neurotic. Even if you’re actually hot I probably won’t be able to stomach being with you long enough even to finger-fuck you.
  • Girls aged 30 or over who still get pissed, miss dates, get hungover, flake, have made-up women jobs, I will regard you as nothing but sport.
  • Any profiles with women taking delight in their “idiosyncracies” will not be considered. “My friends say I’m moody!”. Fuck no. “I’m demanding and intelligent”. Fuck no. These cretins actually write this shit.

Her

For a minute I think Jimmy is off his tits on mushrooms, but no, he’s serious. After asking him about it it transpires than Jambone likes to put up non-conformist profiles on dating sites and uses it to practice his frame control. Basically he messages twenty or so women and tries to get them to hate him. He then sticks to two rules:

  1. Every response is an IOI
  2. Try and build attraction but without compromising your frame

******************************************

This is mindblowing. Here I am toying with the idea of possibly using online dating, mulling over my wee profile and I find out some guy is merely using online dating for sport. Furthermore, someone is so into Game that their hobby is Frame Control. I have to sit down and digest all of this slowly. Jimmy sends me a sample dialogue and the profile of the girl.

[Full Disclosure here: Jimmy talks about this dialogue on his own blog here]

Profile:

[Quite an unpleasant little profile. It’s taken all of two minutes to write. The first sentence says ‘this is beneath me’. The second paragraph is ‘I’m super clever and gorgeous’. The third paragraph is ‘I don’t have time to meet anyone because I’m so high-value’. Can you just imagine a man writing a profile like this?]

Dialogue:

Original Message YOU sent on 8/31/2010 8:03:18 AMI read your profile and it made me
dislike you. You’re probably OK in
real life but it’s not doing you
any favours. And if I think that,
a lot of other men may as well.
And it may be the ones you want.

I don’t mean to offend, just
thought I’d let you know.

[Oh my god. Are you allowed to say things like this to girls?]
bahahahahha

You’re a ****ing riot. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed your self-entitled representation of the kind of man I might go for. Be assured, you
aren’t.

If you disliked me so much why send me a message?

At your age, you should be actively pursuing the girls you DO like.

peace

[I am the selector. I have always been able to pick men. Slight dig on the age as well.]

Original Message YOU sent on 8/31/2010 8:39:36 AM
I was browsing, saw you, read your profile and just thought it was
a shame, that’s all. You ruined a nice smile.Successful guys have choice and pretty faces are common. Your
profile might not be enough and I am sure there is more to you.

[And so he begins to flip the script. Notice he’s not being out and out vile. Apart from being outrageous he’s being polite. Bear in mind this high-value pain in the arse must get dozens of messages a day from men flattering her about her looks, explaining why they are compatiable or bragging about their achievements (think RJ’s ‘begging’, ‘bullshitting’, ‘bragging’) and here’s a guy who is saying ‘looks aren’t everything’. Of course, he’s outrageously bluffing with no cards. Will she bite?]

My profile is not me.

I am more than enough.
Thank you for enforcing a stereotype that I have been trying to
fight with everything I’ve done in life.

Please never write back.

[Result! She bites. So if you’ve been fighting the sterotype your whole life, you hypocritical cunt, then why did you write that awful profile saying your looks were enough? Let’s continue. Remember… every message is an IOI. Hang on! What’s that noise. I hear a throbbing, clunking, grinding noise. Ah ha! It’s the Jimmy Jambone DHV machine warming up.]

Original Message YOU sent on 9/1/2010 8:02:54 AMAll I am trying to do is help you out. There is no other motive.
I am not interested in dating you based on your profile (and now
on your resulting reactions). You put yourself below all the
women I usually date who are always beautiful AND funny, warm and
talented.

And yet I am a tall, bi lingual guy and I even own a shaggy dog.
I own my own company in the music industry, I travel the world
working on major film projects, I have houses in Miami and
Barcelona and I have more than enough evidence to suggest I am
the kind of guy women like to be around – I can guarantee you I
am, and by your own admission, EXACTLY what you’re looking for
and you lost me in 10 seconds.

Your anger at me and rationale for not liking me are based purely
on the fact that I rejected you and you seemingly think I was
being unfair.

If you don’t want to continue this discussion all you have to do
is not write back. I will you all the best in the future. You are
yet a child, but as you mature you’ll probably see that I was
right. A pretty face and a sour attitude will attract men, but
not the guys for whom you need to bit that little bit more.

[Nice. Nice work. He disqualifies himself at the start then violently axe-kicks her head in with DHV. Notice he reframes it here so that she’s a naïve child. You can bet this girl’s dad talked to her like this. Is he interested in her? No. JJ isn’t doing this to get a date, and it shows, which makes it all the more likely to succeed.]

I am simply continuing this discussion because I’m intrigued and
because the social experiment we’re conducting is unique. Never
again will I have a guy tell me I “lost” him after reading a few
of the sentences I wrote on a silly website.
I’m glad you have a million houses. Go you!

I have my own reasons for writing what I did and for acting the
way I do. You know nothing about my life.

I am young and I am beautiful and I am incredibly talented. I’ve
finished my undergrad at an ivy league school already and was
given a scholarship to come here for a pre grad course. In the
meantime I have been working for a consulting firm in Toronto for
the past year and the work I do gives R&D firms enough money to
promote entrepreneurial growth in my own country. My mother lost
her job to outsourcing so I actively work to strengthen the
business infrastructure at home. You have no right to talk to me
the way you do. I’m also not attracted to you.

I’ve been hurt, I have hurt and I want to have fun now.
I suggest you do the same

[And she replies again. And yet still mentions her beauty, then disqualifies it with the description of her intellectual acheivements. I laughed out loud when I read “I’m also not attracted to you”.]

Original Message YOU sent on 9/1/2010 8:42:23 AMThat’s what you should put in your profile.

[Exquisite, Jambone, just exquisite. You can bet your life all this girl’s Higher-Beta square-chinned investment banker boyfriends have never talked to her this way before.]

ugh.

what’s your shaggy dog’s name?

[She’s interested]

Original Message YOU sent on 9/1/2010 9:22:19 AMPlato. My dad was not only the greatest single influence on my
life, he was also a philosophy lecturer. We were talking about
philosophy while I was still reading the Beano (British weekly
comic book).I am at heart my father’s son. Somewhere inside me,
and not so deeply, there is a sandal wearing, bearded
bespectacled teacher.

My last girlfriend. Now she was gorgeous. If you saw a photo of
her you’d understand where I am coming from. Wherever we went,
every head turned. She has the body of the Goddess of Sex and the
face of the Goddess of Beauty (Greek not Roman). She had her pick
of men. She is now dating the owner of Spotify, a billionaire who
can have anyone.

So when guys like me see a profile saying ‘I am beautiful and
that’s all you need to know ‘ – our reaction is ‘well if ALL you
have to offer is your looks then, I’ll just look elsewhere
because looks is only the starting point’. It’s like selling a
car based only on the fact it has a stereo. Yeah… and?

I swear if your profile was a little more like what you just sent
to me, maybe a little less hubris, I would have loved it. Someone
I could converse with as well as fck. And the bit about getting
hurt and wanting to have fun sparked in me the warm and urgent
male desire to protect (women/children). Pretty good.

But it’s your life. Just tell me to go **** myself.

[This is brilliant. Each time I read this I want JJ to date my sister. This is genius. Very carefully written. I’m sure JJ did not just trot this off. Notice what’s going on here. The mention of his father interfused with the mention of Plato, and unashamed admiration for him, the hint that possibly he has passed away which creates Pathos, the vulnerability game about almost being a “sandal wearing, bearded bespectacled teacher” which fractionates beautifully to the next paragraph where he basically just boasts about his ex-girlfriend’s attractiveness. We then get an explanation of why looks are not enough, again, and a final paragraph which again is brilliant: explaining to her like she’s a little girl that if she just opened up more then maybe, just maybe he’d have loved it. Then drops in the reference to sex then immediately switches to the warm, fuzzy picture of him protecting her. Her juices and her tiny brain must be all over the place by now.]
Plato is the philosopher I focused on for my ancient philosophy
minor. I have a specialist degree in Literary criticism: french,
russian, british. I’ve been a student of Plato’s since I was 13.
I began the Republic then and finished it in my second year of
uni. He’s a monument and a giant. I don’t suspect I’ll ever
finish understanding his work.

Funny you should say that; my dad was my main influence as well
as I’m also very much a daddy’s girl. I knew of Plato’s Symposium
since I was 7 having had my dad tell me about these ancient human
creatures who were welded together and then separated by the
furious gods and cut up into the individual, lonely pieces that
comprise our bodies today. He would tell me that love comes into
being from loss, not from gain. Our love making is this temporary
reminder of how we used to live. Yes, it’s all very romantic and
to a 7 year old little girl on a grimy eastern european street
car (I was born and bred in Romania) my father became Homer and I
became….enchanted with philosophy and literature. Those were
the only times I saw my dad; my parents were divorced so these
bits of story telling were all I would get for weeks.
I love dogs. I can’t walk past a stray or even an owned dog
without wanting to make it my own. I have gone so far today
actually as to buy a homeless man’s stray some food. I have a
bleeding heart and I hate myself for it. I’m quirky and silly and
childish and I’m sorry I said mean things to you. It’s so unlike
me. This site is unlike me. You are rather cute.

Be well,

<name>

[Admittedly unreal luck here with the Plato reference, but it’s knocked this girl for six. Just look at the turnaround here from the first few messages. Brilliant. This girl is attracted now and she admits it. Game set and match Jambone, with zero collapse of frame or supplication.]

******************************************************

Print this off. Read it a few times. Cogitate. I did. This single exchange altered my perspectives on two things:

  1. What’s possible with Game
  2. Social conditioning

The second is the most important. What this exchange really did for me is make me focus on why I felt so uncomfortable reading the dialogue to start with. Tell me, how did you feel when you read it? Personally I felt uneasy. I got a strange physiological reaction in the stomach. It just felt “wrong” and I realised this was years of social conditioning having its effect on me. This was the way I’d been raised with the double standard of “be nice to girls”. I firmly believe that as males in this country we are raised with a good, strong hypocritical double standard and this has a great effect on us, and a lot of men are unaware of it.

Women are equal but don’t be mean to them.

(In other words they’re equal when they want to be but you should still treat them special)

Ridiculous. Where this comes from is from an age, not too long ago, when we didn’t have this fake equality, when women were actually different. Where they didn’t work and compete with men. Where they respected men for what they built and achieved and didn’t try and belittle them. Chivalry made more sense then. What women have done is demand equality but, like the manipulative weasels they are, demanded special treatment.

I suggest you think long and hard about this. You need to free yourself from this social conditioning. Women aren’t special. Don’t respect a woman because she’s a woman, respect a good woman because she’s a good woman just like you’d respect a good man. This social conditioning is dangerous to you because this double standard is often at the root of men who put women on a pedestal and objectify them. If you can treat women totally normally and not be intimidated or affected by that massive, high pile of value they’re sitting on (which is hard, as nature designed that to be enough value for men to fight tigers to win) then you might get somewhere.

I decide to start my training and trawl my online dating site for a girl who annoys me. I find a nice looking girl, probably Argentinian, with a lazy, lazy profile and a few pictures of herself looking pretty. Unfortunately due to my attentions she’s now locked her pictures so I can’t put them here but let’s say she looks a bit like Venezuelan but one or two points out of ten hotter.

This is her profile:

Her:

I ve lived in many places by now, and I ve moved to London recently. I enjoy spending time with my friends, going to art shows, exhibitions, concerts, and I love music- I also work a lot, which gives me little time to rest!

Him:

I do not think there is something like an ideal match- I believe in chemistry. In any case, this is not a formula. I dont think those exist…

[Translation: I’m high value because I am. Men have always given me attention. I’ve never had to try. Now I’m in  new city I find myself lacking my validating social circle. Mmm I’ve heard a bit about online dating. Ok ok finally I pay the money and sign up. I upload some pictures, oooh I’m pretty, and one picture shows me in a museum, which I went to once one day a few months ago, so that shows I’m deep. Write a profile, that’s three minutes that’ll be enough. Now I sit back and simply sift through the dozens of messages all the Betas and Higher-Betas send me, pick the richest man with the squarest jaw that looks most like my father or ex boyfriend and we’re done]

On 2010-10-15 at 22:28:18, Bhodisatta wrote:

LazyArgie,

I read your profile and it made me think ‘what a waste of a lovely smile’. Is that really all you have to say about yourself? Two sentences? It’s lazy.

Do you want someone to pick you just for the way you look? I know there’s more to you; the reason I contacted you is because on your last picture you’re in The British Museum, which I love, standing next to a poster for the Rude Britannia exhibition, which I also loved and something just clicked. Plus… you look like a genuinely happy person.

Don’t mean to offent, just thought I’d let you know.

Bhodisatta

[Nice opening salvo Bhodisatta.  I also cunningly notice the exhbition in the picture and comment on it which is probably more than most of the pandering messages she gets do.]

On 2010-10-15 at 22:39:59, LazyArgie wrote:

Bhodisatta, rather than lazy, I am reluctant to define myself in a few sentences. I d rather have you figure that out, for instance, from inspecting the pic at the tate britain (not british museum) carefully.

I dont want somone to pick me just the way I look- but we are a good mix of body and soul in the end. I wonder if you would have ever written this message if I had a missing tooth!

Anyway, you did not offend! Maybe now you get to see that the same painting may have different meanings..
Cheers

[This stupid bitch actually thinks that having one picture where she’s in a Museum is enough to show her character. Then with the missing tooth comment she is basically referring back to her looks saying ‘I am pretty, how dare you not value that’]

On 2010-10-18 at 21:43:01, Bhodisatta wrote:

Hello LazyArgie.
I’m glad you replied: shows you have some oomph. Well… one picture of you standing in the Tate Britain: hardly tells me much does it? So you went to a museum. Wow. With whom? Why? What did it mean to you.
[Well it’s certainly satisfying to read but from a tehnical perspective I have not built enough interest to justify her qualifying herself to me yet. Nice try, though.]
Don’t try and guess what I’d do if you had a broken tooth. That comes across as vain.
[Good. True]
I just thought it was a shame that’s all. I’ve seen a lot of lovely south american girls and they are sweet, intelligent people yet there’s something about the culture which just makes them sit there waiting for men to come talk to them because they’re pretty.
[Ha. So true. Her brain probably cannot process this as valuing female beauty is so intrinisic to South American culture]
Bhodisatta

[Not enough DHV here. There is still the whiff that I’m actually a cunning Beta trying to turn this around and get her to beg me for a date]

On 2010-10-18 at 21:52:54, LazyArgie wrote:

Bhodisatta, you are so full of cliches. sorry!
[Truth hurts]
it is just that i dont want to share more personal details on the web. if i get to meet someone, then we ll talk. pretty much as it happens in real life, dont you think?- whenever you meet some random person in a pub/bar.
[This is not a bar you dumb bitch]
i ve never thought of doing this online dating stuff until quite recently, and i am reluctant to write about me just like that. anyway, we dont seem to be on the same page! 😛

[She wants to do online dating but feel it is beneath you to write about yourself. I fucking hate her now.]

On 2010-10-20 at 10:43:30, Bhodisatta wrote:

I’d recommend you give up this online dating thing and just go sit in a bar and wait for men to come and talk to you.

[Dead straight]

***********************************

I don’t get any more messages back. I’ve broken Jimmy’s rules but in the end I hated her so much it was more fun sticking a stilleto of truth in her guts than practicing Frame Control but on the good side I find I’ve freed myself of a lot of that terrible Beta desperation I used to have. I actually hate this girl and there’s no way she’s good enough for me.

Verdict: a decent start.

I show this dialogue to DrunkenBaker.

DrunkenBaker: (holding stomach) Ooooh ooh this is weird. Oh I can almost not read it. It makes me feel funny, you talking to her like this.

Me: Keep reading. Do you like her

DrunkenBaker: No… no… you’re right in what you say… but… I dunno… it just feels wrong…

Me: You have been socially conditioned.

The hilarious thing is after a few weeks I check her profile again (to try and get pictures for this post) and notice she’s locked her photos and made an all out effort to add more personality into it:

Why should you get to know LazyArgie?

I ve lived in many places by now, and I ve moved to London recently. I enjoy spending time with my friends, going to art shows, exhibitions, concerts, and I love music- I also work a lot, which gives me little time to rest! I am looking for someone who s willing to enjoy London as much as I do and and spend some time together.

[We now have four sentences; a pathetic DHV, generic crap (which is in itself a DLV), the offensive description of how busy she is (so she’s so high value she probably doesn’t have enough time to meet you) and a final pointless truism sentence. This girl has never had to work for male attention her whole life. She will never get a truly high value male.]

She describes her ideal match thus:

I do not think there is something like an ideal match- I believe in chemistry. However, in my few weeks here I ve realized that online dating can be quite random….so here it goes.

I d say I am looking for an intelligent, generous, light hearted person who is willing to spend time with someone he cares for, but who is also passionate about his work and quite independent (that is pretty much my own description, btw). Plus I love discovering new places but my sense of direction is terrible, so a smart partner in crime with a good sense of direction would help!! 😛 I also find quite sexy a guy that knows how to cook.

In any case, this is not a formula. I dont think those exist…

[She’s exhausting her tiny brain here writing this much. Her hands must ache. Basically I can summarise it like this: she has no idea what she really wants nor what her type is. Like a lot of women she is incapable of even articulating or specifying what she likes in a man. I’d argue this is not so much tragic as an opportunity. If you get to meet a woman like this (which you never will through a site like this) then she will probably be delightfully feminine (if tamed right) and nicely malleable.]

You didn’t think I’d want someone cleverer than me and with a head full of silly ideas now did you?

Advertisements
Categories: General
  1. November 26, 2010 at 7:21 pm

    Hey Bhodisatta,
    I’ve read this a couple times now before I commented. Your analysis of Jimmy’s game was excellent. You definitely saw a lot more than I would have. After comparing your version of the same game, I wanted to give you another, albeit unsolicited, perspective.
    Your frame is the same as Jimmy’s at first but then it cracked. It seems like when you got the bitch shield, the hate you felt came through underneath. It also seemed like it came from a ‘sour grapes’ POV. I see my buddies get this sometimes and I remind them, in vain, that she probably isn’t a bitch, she’s just reacting to whatever you did/said. In NLP, the meaning of the message is the response it elicits. IMHO, if you point the blame at her, it prevents you from seeing yourself clearly.

    Her entire ‘missing tooth’ email was a huge IOI and your response missed the mark.
    You definitely should have used Jimmy’s line, “Successful guys have choice and pretty faces are common. Your profile might not be enough and I am sure there is more to you.” That was golden.
    My personal take would then have been to deliberately misinterpret her ‘missing tooth’ line to put her on defence. “Oh, that’s weird, I didn’t see your missing tooth in the picture. You still look OK, though.”

    • bhodisatta
      November 27, 2010 at 12:41 am

      Excellent points Pulsotic. The more I re-read the dialogue the more shocked I am at how my own frame imploded and all my Beta rage poured out. The problem with internet dating, however, is that the whole setup makes it so easy for people to piss each other off. This is probably why I may either get a lot better at it or stop doing it; it’s so frustrating seeing all this futile wasted energy and missed opportunities. You’re right about the ‘missing tooth’ email. My game was lame.

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: