Home > General > Becoming selective

Becoming selective

A common misconception about Game is that it’s about developing the ability to get any girl. Wrong. What is an attractive quality in a man? Pre-selection. What do men with choice do? Select. What do desperate men do? Take anything. How can you be the selector? Select! To a certain extent if you copy the behaviours of the person you wish to be then ultimately you can become that person, or at least pass yourself off as that person.

Kezia Noble stressed this in the talk on DHV she gave at the Ross Jeffries seminar. She suggested making a list of qualities you look for in a woman; actually literally thinking about it, hard, then physically writing down what you’re looking for. This mindset really shines through. So does neediness. Make your choice.

If you’ve been on a similar Game journey to me then one thing Game will have given you is to make you realise what you want in a woman. Well, back up a second. First off it makes you realise that you have choice. Then when that sinks in you realise all the awful shit you’ve done in the past. Then you realise how awesome you are. Then you realise how lame a lot of girls are. Then you work out what you really want.

Spool forward to now and I’m mulling over my lack of success at online dating. I start to wonder if perhaps women are a bit cleverer than I take them for. Maybe the reason they’re not replying to me is that I’m not their type. Don’t for a second think there are many women out there looking for a life of casual sex. I still don’t believe that. Doesn’t mean you can’t get casual sex off them, though, but that’s a different point. I think single women are looking for Mr Right. I think they know what they want and they have a type. Most girls move within a social group and it has a defined type or style. For girls beneath approximately age twenty eight this is desperately important to them. They’re Hoxton girls, they’re media girls, they’re slightly posh snowboardery types, they’re poor arty types, they’re hard working hard playing medics and on and on. I’m increasingly convinced that in online dating girls are looking for the guy who will slot nicely into their circle of friends and social scene.

With this in mind I decided to carry out an exercise. I did a basic search and got up a list of results. I then went through and picked the first eight results where the girl looked ‘ok’ and at first glance the profile seemed ‘ok’. I really tried to skim the profile and try and assess whether me of five weeks ago would have thought it was adequate and possibly worth a message. What I then did was go back through each profile and really try and think the way girls think. Really pick apart what’s there and try and work out if this girl would think I would fit into her social scene and if she would fit into mine. I switched the mindset of ‘message anything worth doing and see what you get back’ to the mindset of someone with options and thought hard about whether this girl would be suitable for me. Could I tolerate her? Would her inane babble drive me to murder? Would her naïve political opinions cause me to scream in her face in the first five minutes?

Let’s begin..

HB One

[oops no pic]

Why should you get to know HB One?

because i’m cute, fun and awesome even if I can’t do maths? Definitely playful and great at conversations. I like writing, photography and laughing and I’m a very lucky lady who loves her job (teaching). The kids are brilliant. I like left wing politics, reading and philosophy and I am also the proud owner of a bmx (can’t do any tricks)and a rather awesome frisbee (can throw AND catch). I like singing out loud, dancing and I am a sucker for the big wide world. Life you see, is trippy.

[Left wing teacher. Hangs out with similar leftie teachers. The bmx and frisbee make me think of Nathan Barley; silly Shoreditch twats. Why would you own a bike without gears? Madness. This girl would definitely not consider me within her definition of “cool”. Notice how girls think writing stupid shit in their profiles is endearing.]

She describes her ideal match thus:

I tend to like men who are easy going and if you’re cute, well, that’s a bonus[looks are important]. Lovers of food, travel and live music [women love the idea of loving live music] get a massive thumbs up here. An opinion without arrogance and someone who likes to learn is always an attractive trait [mindblowingly patronising. seeks Beta]. I wouldn’t mind if you take an interest in the world around you or if you like hugs[why thank you]. But i’m open to different things so surprise me if you must.[These last two sentences tell you everything you need to know about what goes on in this girl’s heart]

Verdict: No.

On a looks basis then yes I’d fuck her but that’s beside the point. Would this girl fit in with me? No. She would try to dominate and horribly fail. Would I fit in with her scene? No. In her eyes I wouldn’t be cool enough or have the right job. Also, I am not Beta so she’d give me short thrift.

Oh no Bhodisatta! You’re frame is weak: you’re trying to work out if you will fit in with her rather than the other way round. True. But I’m pretty open minded and can go out with girls from most different social scenes. The reverse is not true. Also, let’s not be unrealistic here; as I’ve said in the previous article online dating seems to put the power in the hands of the females. It’s not a massive frame-collapse to make an initial assesment of whether you’ll fit in with a girl’s social circle. It’s realistic.

HB Two

Why should you get to know HB Two?

[oops no pic]

I used to be shy and sometimes, occasionally it still happens. By taking risks and making myself speak and perform in front of big crowds I’ve changed. [starts promising]

I was born and raised in New York City. I come from a very loving broken home. [uh oh. potentially emotionally damaged]The child of two psychologists I’m prone to possibly over-analysing things. [I have already excluded her]With three older brothers, I have always been appreciated for being a girl [ALERT. Thinks she’s special because she’s female.]. I went to college in St. Louis and came to London to do my MA in Fine Art back in 2000. London has been my home for the past 10 years except for a 3-month stint 3 years ago when I lived in Marseille doing an artist’s residency.[pretentious]

I enjoy dancing, baking cakes and giving gifts. I tend to giggle a lot when I first meet someone which is quite charming, I’m told, because it makes the person feel that they are very funny, and let’s face it, not everyone is funny [how kind of you]. I like getting to know people one-to-one, but I also really enjoy being part of a group [nice mindless truism]. I like to have dinner parties. As much as I love being with other people, I’m not afraid to go out to eat or to the movies by myself. [these artists are a daring sort]

I am high maintenance in my quest to be low maintenance. I will go a long way out of my way in pursuit of a bargain. I am bit of a pack-rat – I don’t like throwing things away or losing touch with old friends. I dress casually most days but I also love to get dolled up for a night out.

If a list of adjectives is useful I’m ambitious, hard-working, talented, clever, trusting, self-aware, articulate, warm and open.

I am an artist working mainly with video and performance, although I also have a degree in painting.[she’s boring and pretentious] I use a lot of humour in my work. Having a day job which is art-related and meaningful is important to me. My art is an excuse to indulge in activities I enjoy which I believe makes it accessible and fun for the viewer.

She describes her ideal match thus:

I’m looking for someone who can make me laugh and make me think. I would also like us to feel warm and fuzzy about each other.[wants Mr Right to give her the pussy tingle. This girl would be dead meat in daygame and would respond really well to game, especially with the glaring holes in her personality and all her neuroses. The sad thing is she will probably only meet totally Beta dweebs who meet her bullshit criteria.]

Verdict: no

HB Three

[oops no pic]

Why should you get to know HB Three?

Has it really come to this? Evidently yes. [I like it. No denial about doing online dating]

Wouldn’t it be lovely just bumping into ‘the one’ at the cheese counter in Waitrose? Better still would be to order a tall, dark, handsome creative type along with your goats cheese. Now there’s an idea…. [shops at Waitrose, buys goat’s cheese and writes reasonably well (missing the apostrophe off ‘goats’ unfortunately). She is socio-economic filtering here which smacks of more honesty and non-nonsense than most girls on the site. She’s not boasting about how leftie she is or how she likes backpacking and hostelling. This girl likes the finer things in life and is sorted. Tiny BMXs: no. Goat’s cheese: yes.]

I suppose this way I can weed out any NDubz or Robbie Williams fans. [Nice]

She describes her ideal match thus:

Like me, you probably won’t think internet dating is cool. But you’ll still be cool.
You’re creative, interesting, intelligent and possibly even an incy wincy bit arrogant [wants an Alpha]. You’ll make me laugh and cry for all the right reasons, and create amazing culinary treats 🙂

Oh and extra points for facial hairiness

Verdict: Yes.

As well as being fit this girl is attractive more for what she doesn’t say than what she says. No stupid lists of things she likes: “walks in the park, winter sunsets, mugs of cocoa, the crisp winter leaves, blah, blah”. Total absence of left wing shite. She makes no attempt to qualify and her profile displays her belief she has a right to select. Classic game. I will definitely message this girl but in all likelihood she will not reply. With a face like that and profile like that she’ll be getting dozens of messages a week from guys better looking than me. Shame.

HB Four

[oops no pic]

Why should you get to know HB Four?

Things I like: cheeky sarcasm, yoga, good views, cute smiles, half full glasses, planning holidays, world music [uh oh].
Things I love: blue skies, dancing, a bargain, dressmaking, long walks in the Lake District, muesli, London, friends and family.
Things I’m not so keen on: getting a stitch, narrow mindedness [i.e non-left wing politics], tequila, cold feet, bad customer service and weird sweets colleagues bring back from their holidays.[quite funny]

I’m a sociable, optimistic sort – love to keep busy, and make the most of time off. If I’m in London that usually means exploring what’s the South Bank has to offer, and if not, that probably means enjoying myself on holiday, or sunning myself in Spain.

She describes her ideal match thus:

Well seems that word ‘spark’ sadly doesn’t have a clear definition, but ideally someone who can laugh (including at himself), and who is happy to indulge in a bit of silly banter. Openmindedness is, in the words of soulmates ‘absolutely crucial’ [wants someone with the exact same 3rd world-hugging politcal views as herself]. And it’d be nice if you enjoy meeting people and are happy to spend time with friends and family.

Verdict: No.

Why? She isn’t fit and her profile is totally unexceptional. It’s not bad but there is zero in there to attract me.

HB Five

pictures removed!

[the pictures are a turn-off]

Why should you get to know HB Five?

Pretentious wank, Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank.[then you are not open minded you stupid cunt]Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank.

Pretentious wank in French,Pretentious wank in French,Pretentious wank in French,Pretentious wank in French.

[This girl is an idiot. She’s totally self obsessed and is lost in a contrived world of art, intellectualism, literature and god knows what. No surprise she’s French as plenty of those snail-guzzlers have this faux intellectual/artsy thing going on]

She describes her ideal match thus:

Pretentious wank, [wants a big cock]. Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank.

Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank.

Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank,Pretentious wank.

[Just typical garbled contradictory nonsense. I hate this girl so much we exchange these pleasantries]

2010-11-28 12:17:47

I read your profile and I thought it was terrible. You’ll scare away any man of high value. It reads like the ramblings of a victorian spinster who isn’t getting any.
Lay off the crack.

2010-11-28 20:56:57

Haha!!! Fuck you too 🙂

HB Six

[oops no pic]

Why should you get to know HB Six?

So.. me and how great/smashing and good I am. I’m new to this, I’ll work up to it! [zero effort. my looks are enough. not with a hooter like that girlfriend..]

She describes her ideal match thus:

Happy go lucky rainbow gypsy meets a guy that knows were he’s going, who knows how to get there and mainly how to have a good time on the way. Ouch my friend has just read this..she’s in hysterics. Says I sound like I’m ‘internet dating?’…Ha!
Ok so I’m losing the ‘rainbow gypsy’ and replacing it with tropical wonder ball. Make of it what you will. I don’t want you to think I’m not taking this seriously because I am.. I really am! [lives in a state of cognitive dissonance.]
Ok tropical wonder ball, Its confusing. I’m dropping it. So yeah someone good?
One definite, someone that is calm and doesn’t get too stressed about things.

[Totally inarticulate. Unable to specify what she wants. She’s a flake. Just to practice my arrogant frame I send her this:]

2010-11-28 12:22:58

Hi HB Six,

I just love the way you’re incapable of describing yourself and of articulating what you are looking for in a man. I find that very attractive in a woman. Seriously. You think I want some woman who writes a load of crap about herself or a big list of requirements she looks for? Not the way I was brought up.
Also, it’s funny the way all but two of your pictures are grainy and look like they were taken by a stalker.

Don’t bother checking my profile; it’s a lie. Also I don’t look good on photo; my raw masculine power doesn’t come out.

Get in touch if you want me to help you work out what you want. (i.e me).

J

Verdict: no. I don’t expect a response and I’m not disappointed.

HB Seven

[oops no pic]

[Just look at those needy eyes. Burning with the desire to ‘do good’.]

Why should you get to know HB Seven?

Hello! I’m friendly, a bit shy, curious and open to new things! I love eating out, going to weird and wonderful classes and also love a duvet day with good food and films!

I’m qualifying to be a Drama Therapist at the moment (I can explain what that means if you like-) [not only does she have a made-up woman’s job but she’s nicely patronising as well] I love my field of work and it allows me to meet a range of interesting people in a creative, caring and sensitive way. [meets low-achievers/immigrants/etc and patronises them]

I write now and then as I see it as an absolutely brilliant therapeutic tool (hence thee career choice) especially when you read over what you’ve written a year or years later and have a penny dropping ‘ahhhhh I see!’ moment about yourself.

I love finding new places to eat and walking down beautiful streets after getting lost (despite having an Iphone with a map I still get lost in London- despite actually being from London!) I’m a little clumsy – but it’s all apart of my wonderfully impulsive nature! [women should learn some basic game; actively showing you are stupid, ditsy and illogical is not attractive. why do they think it is?]

– Think that’s enough for now ….

She describes her ideal match thus:

Someone who is open minded with some more traditional qualities too [left wing opinions but treats her special because she’s a girl]. Needless to say I like to be treated with respect and maturity [just as I said]. If you’re open to fun and exciting experiences and want good company like I do.

A sense of humour is always a great thing as well as good looks and a bit of sensitivity when needed. Someone fun, playful who could be a friend too. On a shallow note- I like a guy to dress and smell great! – well attraction is important right?

I’d like to be treated like a lady but also rugby tackled now and then… and then be given a hand up, apologised to etc etc. [this girl is a total little princess with hypocritical personal beliefs and a made-up job]

Verdict: no

HB Eight

[oops no pic]

Why should you get to know HB Eight?

I am looking for you whoever you are. I’m open to all possibilities so surprise me and let’s chat soon.

[I like it. Very Asian. The man is to be the star in the relationship. She is there to accessorize him. I can roll with this. She’s very submissive as well. She doesn’t even bother describing herself. She’s a little Asian doll waiting for a strong man.]

She describes her ideal match thus:

Someone trustworthy, with compatible interests, a good communicator, cheeky sense of humour, with similar values, who is understanding, fun, interesting and can hold an intelligent but interesting and irreverent conversation. Someone with which I can be completely comfortable, honest and intimate. And the usual – happy, generous, considerate, well balanced/ well adjusted, tolerant, strength character of in adversity, honourable, sensitive, independent, kind to animals, small children and the vulnerable etc, tall dark & handsome gentleman.

[Wants a big strong man to sweep her away]

Verdict: Yes

I can definitely sweep this rittle Asian girl off her feet. Importantly, her profile is not full of things which annoy me.

*******************************************************

So at the end of this exercise I am surprised to find that when I really concentrate on a profile and think it through that most of them are not compatible with me. I will experiment for a few weeks with taking a lot more time and care to find profiles where:

  1. I think the girl will get a sense that I could tick all the boxes about me fitting in with her life.
  2. The girl meets my criteria.

Yup.. someone out there could probably game each one of these girls and get a result. There’s obvious things about each one which you could use. Thing is.. I’m not interested in this. I’d find that kind of Game demeaning. I don’t want to pull ‘any’ girl. I want the ones I like!

What are my criteria.

Well I could write a book on this but as a very brief snapshot I think I have a few types. Intelligence-wise I prefer a girl to be either mundane in the brain and not argue with me or contradict me or on the other hand be as clever as me and genuinely have something to contribute. I’ve met few girls in my life who fit into the last category and unfortunately most girls who should be in the former category are ruined by Western social conditioning and fall into the unstated middle category: women who are not as clever as me yet think their opinions are as worthwhile, or probably more worthwhile.

Good signs on a profile are:

  • Lack of left-wing political views
  • Non-patronising attitude
  • Not being proud of how ditsy and annoying they are
  • No clues they expect to be treated special because they are female (i.e. they are more equal than men)
  • Not insane
  • Not neurotic
  • Able to articulate in some way what they want

The HB Eight one is a classic. This girl really is quite demure and doesn’t have a lot to say about herself. Good. We’ll get on well and probably be delighted with each other. She will scamper round on her tiny clogged feet, cook me special meals and dream of me when I’m not there. I will pick her up and carry her, fractionate her on an emotional rollercoaster, send her into sexual apoplexy and fight off sabre-tooth tigers to keep her safe.

Notice my last bullet point. This is important. Girls who ramble crap and are unable to articulate what they want are probably very open to be gamed. HOWEVER, you have to get them in real life to do this. With online dating I believe these girls will be so incompetent and flaking that it would be almost impossible to get them out for a real world meet.

On the physical side I have many types. I was in the pub with DrunkenBaker the other day drooling over a tiny Chinese girl talking to a middle aged arab guy. DrunkenBaker asked me what I liked and I said: tiny hands, tiny feet, tiny little legs and arms, smooth skin like porcelain, black hair and big, black eyes. DrunkenBaker thought for a second then searched for a while on his iPhone. “I’ve found your ideal woman” he said. It was Hamble from Playschool:

Advertisements
Categories: General
  1. DrunkenBaker
    December 1, 2010 at 9:12 am

    HB 1: Funny duck mouth.
    HB 2: Looks like the token Jew in a bad 1990s sitcom.
    HB 3: Nice, but unless you’ve got your own yacht, forget it.
    HB 4: “Exploring what the South Bank has to offer.” What does this shit even mean? I can tell you exactly what the South Bank has to offer: a couple of bars and a Nandos. You don’t have to explore the place, we’re talking a small area of London here, not the middle of the fucking Congo.
    HB 5: This is brilliant. Will probably end up doing heroin with a bongo player.
    HB 6: Another funny duck mouth. Looks like she’s just sucked Freddy Krueger’s knob.
    HB 7: WTF? The mouth! What’s going on with these women? You asked if some men find clumsy/stupid women attractive; I think the answer is yes. Three words: White Knight Syndrome.
    HB 8: Harro!

  2. December 1, 2010 at 5:49 pm

    To go along with the whole Kezia Noble exercise, I think it’s important to list qualities you look for not only in women, but in ALL people you surround yourself with. Once you actually have standards you live by, most of the time the whole “being the selector” thing get’s taken care of unconsciously.

    ######

    Keep up the good work man.

  3. The Alchemist
    December 2, 2010 at 9:44 pm

    HB5 looks like one annoying little twat who takes herself way too seriously. Stay far away, she no doubt is pining for some untalented, emo dipshit that plays guitar in some half-assed garage band. Learn how to smile.

  4. December 2, 2010 at 11:18 pm

    “Yup.. someone out there could probably game each one of these girls and get a result. There’s obvious things about each one which you could use. Thing is.. I’m not interested in this. I’d find that kind of Game demeaning. I don’t want to pull ‘any’ girl. I want the ones I like!”

    Funny, I’d probably try to be that someone. Do you mean demeaning to the target or to oneself? Personal tastes are interesting. The only ones I’d actively game are HB3 and HB5. Profiles are usually written horribly and if you can get past that, in person, each of those women would melt when met with an Alpha frame.

    It’s cliche, but I do find the chase is most of the fun. Personality conflicts don’t usually carry into the bedroom.

    I love your idea of women wanting someone to fit into their life/social circle. That can be an easy thread/pattern to jump into in field, replete with self-pointing. Along with, “most people don’t know what they want, even if it’s right in front of them.” Another excellent post, man.

  5. bill
    December 3, 2010 at 2:08 am

    Really useful descriptions of the girls’ unstated wants. Reading this was like reading Krauser’s chats with descriptions. I need to start paying better attention to what girls say to me to pick up their subcommunication.

  6. Psycstar
    December 3, 2010 at 4:34 pm

    I am H5. I can’t believe that you have done this. Please delete this post now. I feel incredibly violated by what you have done. DELETE THIS POST NOW otherwise I will phone Guardian Soulmates and report you. I have all your user details. I’m asking nicely. DELETE THIS POST NOW.

  7. Psycstar
    December 3, 2010 at 4:56 pm

    Who gives you the right to post my profile and my photos on your disgusting, misogynistic site? REMOVE THIS POST NOW.

  8. Psycstar
    December 3, 2010 at 5:07 pm

    REMOVE THIS POST NOW.

  9. Psycstar
    December 3, 2010 at 5:08 pm

    TAKE THIS POST OFF NOW.

  10. Psycstar
    December 3, 2010 at 5:08 pm

    REMOVE IT NOW.

  11. Psycstar
    December 3, 2010 at 5:08 pm

    DELETE THIS POST NOW.

  12. Psycstar
  13. Psycstar
    December 3, 2010 at 5:14 pm

    DELETE THIS HORRIBLE POST NOW.

  14. Psycstar
    December 3, 2010 at 5:52 pm

    I’M ON THE PHONE TO THE POLICE RIGHT NOW REPORTING YOU.

  15. Psycstar
    December 3, 2010 at 5:55 pm

    THE GUARDIAN HAS REMOVED YOUR PROFILE FROM THEIR WEBSITE.

  16. Psycstar
    December 3, 2010 at 6:51 pm

    IF YOU DO NOT DELETE THIS POST NOW THEN I WILL CONTACT WORDPRESS TO HAVE THIS POST AND POSSIBLY YOUR ENTIRE BLOG REMOVED.

  17. December 27, 2010 at 7:23 pm

    I figured you got a shitstorm from the profiles.
    Crazy women are the best in bed, so I’m not taking back what I said about HB5. Now I REALLY want to game her.

    And by ‘game’ I mean ‘bang’.

  18. December 28, 2010 at 12:58 am

    HB5 is an ugly evil whore. Ten years from now when she’s living alone in a house full of cats, desperately phoning the IVF clinic for the results of her fifth failed pregnancy with some gay Jewish sperm doner, you should knock on her door and introduce your harem of young cute FERTILE asians.

    until then, if you bump into her then kick her in the cunt. I would.

    • 50flags
      January 2, 2011 at 2:07 am

      “Ten years from now when she’s living alone in a house full of cats, desperately phoning the IVF clinic for the results of her fifth failed pregnancy with some gay Jewish sperm doner, you should knock on her door and introduce your harem of young cute FERTILE asians”

      hahaahha fucking brilliant…

  19. Stomped On
    October 17, 2011 at 1:13 pm

    You’re very right! The more sane you become the less sane you seem. At least in the eyes of the “other” out there in the world who operate on their own agendas. In this case nothing you say or feel makes any sense to someone like that because it is solely about them to begin with. You’re a non existent force here. All about them.

    What does one do in a case like this? Do you become overly selective and just wear the person of your interest down until you feel confident in the attention? It seems like a lot to go through to deem someone worthy of your attention. But the alternative to it is to fall prey to anything walking. I’ll take insane anytime by measure of standards after going through what I have this past year.

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: