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Game sabbatical begins…

It’s been two weeks since I finished work. My game sabbatical hasn’t started with quite the explosive bang I hoped for… more of a gradual warm up. First off I’ve had to do lots of other crap which distracted me: moving flat, buying furniture, unexpected visits up north, Christmas shopping, etc, and I’m not a person who responds well to multi-tasking. This ‘bitty’ nature of my free time so far has made it easy for me to skive and waste time when I could be out there in the cold and rain chasing women. On top of that my inner weasel starting squealing softly and asking me if I thought in fact the whole thing was maybe a waste of time?

Some of this has been the shock of the unknown. It’s all fine to dream for months of having a sabbatical but when it arrives it can be quite intimidating: like retirement. I’m glad to say, however, that I’ve gritted my teeth and am gradually getting the ball rolling and facing the reality of what I’m doing; plus more importantly, starting to enjoy it. I now feel I’m at breaking point.

So I haven’t really been doing a large number of sets, maybe five or so at a time. Sets are quite hard to find in this weather as most hot, single women simply don’t go out in the cold and dark unless they can take along a friend to make it more bearable for them. I’m generally doing around five sets in an hour or so.

I’m trying to look for women that I genuinely could imagine myself with. Or at least fucking. Listen to Assanova. Go for women for whom you are their type. Go for women who look like girls who generally like you. Especially if you’re not at some mind-bending PUA level yet.

I’m still learning a lot. Every time I go out I learn something new. Literally. I hope this never ends. I love it. It’s such a thrill when the little lightbulb in my head goes ‘pop’. It’s truly a privilege to be able to learn these dark secrets of interpersonal communication.

Vibing

I have felt for a long time that I was unable to vibe. I can hook and talk with women but not vibe. I didn’t really understand what it was. This has changed of late and I find myself able to vibe and joke with various women. This has been great progress for me considering how monstrously bitter I used to be. What I’m really enjoying over the last few days is just wandering around feeling relaxed and jolly and randomly chatting to all sorts of people. This is a far cry for wandering round Covent Garden, clutching my man-bag and with an ashen, anxiety-stricken face, trying to psyche myself up enough to approach.

I’m finding shop-girls are great practice for vibing. For a start you have an excuse to talk to them and secondly they are generally bored sensless and looking for some fun. Ontop of that a lot of them are young and sexy with a good female energy. Actually, here’s the suprising thing; you don’t need to just talk to females to practice vibing. You can vibe with anybody. I never realised before the crossover but now I do it’s quite a revelation. Brilliant. Just vibe with everyone you come into contact with and hey presto…. you get good at vibing!

I realise that having some time off and just wandering around, relaxing and being friendly and chatty to everyone is in fact quite a life-changing experience. Did anyone read secretpua’s blog? It’s disappeared now but his end conclusion, before he stopped blogging, was something like:

I can’t emphasize enough how much just walking round, talking people and being positive has changed my life.

(If anyone has an archive or a link to this blog let me know)

We live in an increasingly closed-off society, especially in London. There’s simply no reason people couldn’t be more chatty with each other. I’ve literally talked to a dozen people today that previously I wouldn’t have and the exchanges have really enriched me and made my day more worthwhile.

Intent crisis

In the last couple of sessions I’ve done I’ve really had a revelation. You see what I’ve done is become aware that a lot of the daygame I’ve done so far has not been with through follow-through, or you could say with full intent. I’ve been approaching for the sake of approaching, and maybe getting a number. What I’ve not been doing is approaching with the intent to drive things forward, build stomach-tingling attraction there and then, commit a girl, take her for an instant date there and then and then push forward, push forward until I close. In other words it is possible to go out and do daygame and still be in avoidance. It is possible to ask for a girl’s number and still be in avoidance. Yes, you’ll go with the flow if it carries you along to a date, a close, whatever, but you are being pulled along and still haven’t drilled down and become totally at ease with driving this yourself. This does happen all the time: we’ve all heard of those guys who get a SNL on bootcamp, or do some sort of game for a few weeks and find a girlfriend. Do they need to go through months of soul-chilling introspection? Unlikely. But have they ever really sorted out their intent?

Approaching and not following through in effect provides crumbs of validation but you never get the cake. You know you can approach, flatter a girl and get that tiny speck of feeling good and confident about yourself. Yes, I’m the man. This situation is getting fixed. Is it? Nope. You’re in stasis. If you are not moving forward you are standing still.

Why have I been in avoidance? Ultimately I think it boils down to EDM (Emotional Defense Mechanism). I just don’t want to be rejected and I don’t want to find out that no women want me. Realizing that EDM still affects me is a big leap. This needs to be worked on.

Intent shines through. I think I’ve had some success already with daygame but mainly from emitting a certain type of dichotomous confident/vulnerable vibe that some beginners get. That’s started to fade now and I seem to be having less success. I’ve heard trainers say that this is a recognized phenomena, that when you start to get better you lose the nerves and girls get suspicious that you are practised. I’d go further and say that it’s not solely this suspicion which is the stopping point, but the fact that you seem to have a kind of ‘half confidence’ and ‘half intent’, or more succinctly you are not fully congruous, and women have the in-built evolutionary capacity to smell this and move away from it. Cavemen who are not completely congruous with all their actions do not survive.

I’m in a bit of an ‘intent phase’ now. When strolling around looking for women to approach I’m trying to become at one with my intent. What am I really approaching her for? To chat? To be friends? To practise approaching? No. I am approaching her because I want to fuck her. I want to generate a spark and drive forward. Assanova said in Deeper Than Game “Finish what you start”. This is so true and very sound advice. Too many people in Game never get their intent sorted. I’ve winged guys in bars that just approach endlessly, they go in, get a number, bail. Approach, approach approach. How many girls do they fuck? Not many. As Assanova says, if you’re approaching hundreds of women for a lay then…. Why?

Frame-crash

I’m not there yet, though. I’ve had a few frame-crashes recently. I’ve seen a super-hot girl, started the ‘approach jog’ then sort of petered out as my frame goes ‘poof’ and evaporates and a wave of non-worthiness swamps me. Consequently my pool of targets of late has been a really rather slim slice of women that are hot enough for me to feel a strong enough DNA-tug (also known as lust) to put the effort into the chase yet are not so hot I feel they are too hot for me.

At this point I always imagine Johnny Wisdom’s disembodied voice speaking to me:

“My frame crashes when I approach super-hot women”.

“What’s the best way to train yourself to approach super-hot women?”.

“Oh. Right. Ah..”.

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