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K-Bone breakdown

March 7, 2011 3 comments

The gulf between my theoretical knowledge of game and what I’m capable of applying and using infield is monumental. Kind of like someone who has sat and studied the entire syllabus of Judo on YouTube; every single throw and hold, and can now use small dolls to expertly and precisely illustrate every single technique from memory. He can watch footage of judo matches and provide superb, high-level analysis of the way the fight goes down; a critique far more expert than, say, the average judo brown belt training four times a week could give. However, stick this Poindexter in a Gi and put him on a mat and he literally cannot execute a single throw.

So what we have with me is a Black-Belt theory and a… phh.. I dunno… green coloured practical belt.

This IS being worked on. The gulf is slowly narrowing. For a start I read almost zero new pickup material. What’s the point? I know more than I’ll ever need. And there’s little you need to know about game that you can’t learn from Jimmy’s, Burto’s and Krauser’s blogs. A full “status update” type post is going up imminently.

In the meantime, like the fat, bedroom-nerd Poindexter Judo-journalist I was watching one of K-Bone’s infields today and decided to give it a blow by blow fight-write up.

0:10 she’s a winner. warm, beautiful smile. great energy. this is a marriageable girl

0:18 hilarious opener. she’s absolutely loving it.  High Value.

0:34 “the Audrey Hepburn look” nice. try and put a girl into a romantic state. shame it doesn’t click

0:45 who is this pie-faced moomin wandering in the background?

0:49 mocks accent. Low Value: trying for the vibe without adding enough real value. I hate this because I’ve done it so many times myself.

1:00 “i’m gonna say something…” builds pull energy for the comment, creates dramatic pause, gives him time to think of something

1:12 neg. slightly miscalibrated but she doesnt flinch

1:16 we see now how massively high esteem this girl is. see her whole response. negs dont work on high esteem girls. (as much as low esteem ones)

1:17 “you’re so bad girl” Low Value. tries to create a vibe which isn’t there. this girl is too high-esteem for the “you’re a bad girl” shtick

1:26 she still likes the interaction tho. this girl is sociable

1:43 talking about her again. actually… it’s all been about her. is this KDM?

1:47 this compliment/neg works. High Value

1:55 “you could make a good wife” stuff. this works. amuses her.

2:03 “arm candy”. genuinely very funny. High Value. she laughs, he laughs. the exact moment of synchronous, hindbrain laughing is 2:06. you can just, faintly hear Krauser’s chuckle. this is the best moment of rapport in the set.

2:13 statement of intent again. she’s not overawed. something’s amiss.

2:21 “daft hair” another neg. Krauser is plowing the push/pull here.

2:26 introduces himself

2:30 she gives her name and he says “a boys name” self amusement. ok.

2:33 “a unisex name…. a unisex name” he repeats what she says. he’s buying time here as he needs a second to think of something new. Not having a new comment to make and repeating what she says is Low Value: seeking rapport without adding value.

2:44 “are you educated and stuff?” gentle teasing. notice no questions yet like “where do you live?”. What K is doing is pure vibing/free-associating.

2:55 inspector gadget coat. classic RSG pickup stuff; talk about cutesy cool things from childhood. commonalities which appear to be unique.

3:00 starts describing what he used to wear. starts linking into private eye films. finally! we have K painting his own world, showing he’s interesting and drawing her in…

3:13 to 3:19 BOOM look at the gaze she gives in these 6 seconds and watch the eye-blinks. this is the moment she hypnotic scans him and starts to feel attraction. i believe these 6 seconds are where the first feelings of attraction to K occur

3:28 she’s enjoying herself now. K is doing much better now than at the start

3:30 notice the tiny glances behind him. she’s not fully invested in this.

3:36 seeks rapport RSG style. fails. he’s too old ha ha!

3:55 she looks agitated and distracted now.

4:08 “there’s a dream, though”. oooh very nice indeed K

4:20 another woman pursuing another self-indulgent career paying £14k a year. want to work in the music industry. really? how many musical instruments can you play? what’s a pentatonic scale?

4:24 “are you totally into music or do you just want to be bossy?” drive-by push/pull. she ingores it. there is something amiss here.

4:39 “weelll… if you’ve got a love for it and a talent for it”. good statement. positive. although is the slight drawl on the “well” Krauser’s hindbrain saying “I suspect you have no deep love or talent for it but are pretentious. “?

4:50 notice she’s talking more now. qualifying herself.

5:00 will use connections rather than ability to progress. typical female.

5:07 “you’re a little bundle of suprises. you’re very motivated: i like that.” framing language. she’s the little girl. frames himself as selector. High Value

5:17 ah ha! she’s with someone. the look behind.

5:40 goes for the instant date..

5:53 unfazed “like a boyfriend?”

6:00 “how many have you got?” ha ha funny High Value

6:15 now has flawlessly moved to interrogating her. notice he has not moved an inch to leave. alpha.

6:26 lovely little comment.

6:33 the onomi turns up. he’s tall and handsome and looks like a model. K totally unfazed. the average chode would cack his pants at this point.

6:42 bf starts to bend into K’s frame and laugh at his joke

7:00 burn and leave.

As K says, this is a solid set. Not amazing, but reasonable. If this was your average level of outcome you’d be doing great. If she wasn’t with her boyfriend this could have bounced to an instant date. There wasn’t massive, eye-spazzing attraction but K subcommunicates absolute, total one hundred percent belief that the most natural thing in the world is for them to both be talking to each other having fun. There’s not the slightest, tiniest, sub-molecular sized grain of an indication that he should be uncomfortable being there or should be moving on. And let’s not forget.. this is in the middle of a poky little clothes shop in a market, with people jostling past all the time. This is the subcommunication of…

Entitlement.

K has engineered his hindbrain into totally accepting he is entitled to be there and doing that. It’s the Alpha concept of the KDM. And even when attraction is not as-yet generated this subcommunication has great power and, as I just stated above, could have had the power to pull an instant date.

Categories: General, Reviews

The Fountainhead

I’m starting to understand. The dots are starting to connect. My personal journey is taking me, with slow, roundabout circles, towards a philosophy, a state of being. That’s what this is really all about and anyone into game who doesn’t get this is focusing on their pointed finger and missing all the heavenly glory of the moon at which it’s pointing.

Part of what brought on my hiatus recently was that I started reading The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand and everything else lost relevance. From the fascinating, powerful character of Howard Roark you can learn a lot about this target philosophy. Some of the key writers in game are well aware of this target state and their opinions overlap.

Let’s start with what Ayn Rand. From “The Fountainhead“:

“Then you do need other people, after all, don’t you, Howard?”

“Of couse. What are you laughing at?”

“I’ve always thought that you were the most anti-social animal I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting.”

“I need people to give me work. I’m not building mausoleums. Do you suppose I should need htem in some other way? In a closer, more personal way?”

“No.”

“You’re not even boasting about it.”

“Should I?”

“You can’t. You’re too arrogant to boast.”

“Is that what I am?

“Don’t you know what you are?”

“No. Not as far as you’re seeing me, or anyone else.”

Heller sat silently, his wrist describing circles with a cigarette. Then Heller laughed, and said:

“That was typical.”

“What?”

“That you didn’t ask me to tell you what you are as I see you. Anybody else would have.”


And we have Ross Jeffries in his new book “Secrets of Speed Seduction Mastery” saying:

True, deep confidence that resonates in the deep mind, heart, sould and body of a woman consists of walking through the world without needing a guarantee, without making excuses and without inflicting yoruself on the other person. This is crucial.

Another way to put it is that you don’t back away from your desires, but you also won’t inflict yourself on others.


And finally putting it all together like a wise gnome we have RSD’s Owen Cook/Tyler Durden in the wonderful “The Blueprint“:

Walking through the world with ease… take all these aspects; core confidence, strong reality, acting through intentions, masculine polarity, being present, put them all in one concept and get Walking Through The World With Ease.

Categories: General, Reviews

Gunwich: no, David D: yes, RSD: yes

June 15, 2010 1 comment

Gunwitch: Way of Gun

After hearing Wisdom and Krauser mention The Way of Gun audio course I duly obtained it and started on it. I have to say I was ultimately quite disappointed and it didn’t click with me. Maybe there is genius in the later discs but I could only muster the interest to get through the first two.

It’s five discs long and has been recorded without proper file information and at a ridiculously low sound level. The guy himself sounds like a cross between a redneck and the fun fat guy in the frat movies. The first disc was about inner game and I found it contained a few decent things but ultimately nothing revolutionary or life changing. The second disc was about ‘Availability’ and to be honest I thought it was crappy. Just very, very basic information about daygame, and with some dreadful advice on gaming. I mean stuff that I personally think is lame. He talks about how he has a ‘routine’ built about asking where the target is from, and how he can work out ways to jump onto this core, practiced routine. I thought this was beyond lame. I mean who needs an audio course to teach you how to ask boring ‘death’ questions? The rest of the disc was a slow, boring loss of interest and I couldn’t face the third disc.

David D: Cocky Comedy

This is a seminal product in the pickup community. I’ve had it a while but after a few chodes told me David D’s stuff was good and after seeing Ross Jeffries constantly ridicule ‘cocky comedy’ in his videos I never felt like watching it. I finally bunged it on the mp3 for my weekly commute. It’s about 6 hours long, a breeze after the Leviathan-like proportions of The Blueprint.

I liked this course a lot. I have to admit that some of this is the beautiful, deep, Alpha-like quality of David D’s voice. It’s just lovely. Gay-crush aside I’d say at first I was a little skeptical as the course starts slow and seems to be giving across a very basic point and labouring it: “don’t take it seriously and have fun with the girl”. Yet the thing is…

what a point to make!

It really helps when someone crystallizes something like that for you and this is such an important point, if not the most important one. This shit is supposed to be fun! And by having fun you get more success. While elaborating on this point the discs go through many varied examples and techniques of how to create cocky comedy. Some of the stuff is pretty basic but some of it is really quite good. For example he talks about character based comedy. I know what this is, but I never thought of “using it” (oh god) in a pickup scenario (oh god!). Listening to the material I realised just what fun character based comedy is, and I started to remember what fun I used to have when younger and just ‘messing round’ in social groups with no pickup intent. So, to reiterate, there are some great comedy tips in here.

The guest speakers are funny and interesting and special mention has to go to Sean Stephenson who has a massive guest slot (like Graham Norton). Seans speech is simply brilliant and makes the whole course worthwhile. I have to admit at one point it actually made me well up. “Pity is a drug” he explains. This was another “BluePrint moment” for me, when someone says something that just makes me stop and think “that just turned my world upside down”. Another one was when David D said that a lot of the questions the attendees were asking were “egocentric” and they were solely thinking of the interaction from their own perspective, not thinking ‘what is this like for her? how much fun is she having?’. Sounds simple doesn’t it once you hear it, but I have to confess I have been so wrapped up in this thing that I started to regard the interaction as something abstract and the girl as just a thing, not a person. Sad but true. Thanks David D for turning my world over in a sentence.

Well worth six hours of your time.

RSD: Flawless Natural

Krauser mentions this on a post of his about recommended reading material. I put this on after Gunwitch and straight away I was into it. I just love RSD products. The speakers are so good and they give out such a state-building energy and enthusiasm. Being an RSD product it’s pretty much inner-game based and at various points I was left thinking what clever little chaps those RSD folks are, packaging such deep philopsophy in such an accessible structure. I haven’t finished this yet so can’t give a full opinion but I’ve done 2 out of 6 discs and I have to say that I actually look forward to listening to this and regard it as a treat, not a chore. I actually think I’ve been having RSD withdrawal symptoms since I finished The Blueprint and Foundations. I think The Blueprint is calling me back…..

Categories: Reviews

Excellent article on state-control

June 10, 2010 1 comment

Just saw this article on the LoveSystems site. Excellent. Verbalises some stuff I’ve been discovering in the flesh myself on my recent nights out.

Categories: General, Reviews

One-to-one #3

Last Friday saw me undertake my third one to one with Wisdom and Suave. As a recap my current goals are primarily to work on my AA and beyond that to start working on building the interaction. The session kicked off with Suave offering some great advice on body language. Apparently I have a tendency to do a few less than optimum things:

  1. Stand too pillar-like, arms in, feet too narrow, towering over the girls (I’m tall)
  2. I’m sometimes guilty of pecking: leaning in when I speak because I’m not speaking loud enough
  3. I ‘tower’ too much and bend my head downwards to look down on them
  4. Arms not doing enough, not expressive enough, mabye too fiddly
  5. Not enough kino
  6. When talking to more than one person I am very poor at spreading my attention and eye contact to the rest of the group

Suave got me to practice standing with the legs wider, like a strong foundation, then sort of ‘sitting’ a little on one leg, with the weight on that leg. Head is up, chin is up. I need to just look down on them with my eyes, not my head. Arms are at a slightly less than L-shape , say 4 o’ clock. Hands are palm down. As I talk I sit back, centered. If I shift my weight across legs I move across my centre. Johnny raised the good point that many martial arts have a strong concept of centre. Good boxers control the centre-line well. In Thai boxing you drop your body weight across the centre and ‘drag’ the other leg across in an arc to smash it into your opponent with a round-house kick. And of course in Wing Chun they are obsessed with the centre-line. Maybe there is something fundamental and deep here, like an Alpha is aware of the centre and can control the centre. Check out Owen on The Blueprint, the way he stands very centred, like face on to his subjects with his feet forming a 45 degree triangle. Erect, shoulders wide and dropped down and back. Head up. The arms hang from the shoulders. Watch when he moves.. his legs and arms move but this central ‘pillar’ of his torso and his centre remains there, solid.

Anyway off to the bar we went. I won’t do blow-by-blow again as I think we’re getting past that but in summary my approaches were:

One

2 set sitting. 1 Irish premAged (probably 32 and looking 40), mainly due to sun damage. 1 oz girl, plain. Hooked easily. Great reception. Talked for ages. They actually asked me not to leave! Got IOI from the Irish one.

Two

2 set at bar. Bloned UK 7.5 plus brunette UK 6.5. They were not half so warm but tolerated me. They had a far higher sense of their own value, that was obvious. Whenever they interrupted me they asked a chodey, boring question, then when I answered it made the conversation boring. Way too hard work for girls which in another country would be unexceptional. Split.

Three

Challenged by Johnny I walked to the toilet, leaned over the wooden railing thing and 3-finger turned one of a 3 set.1 French, older, 2 indian, hot, young.Great reception. They actually beamed at me. I F.U.CKING LOVE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS! Again I used my classic opener, actually the only opener I ever use, the incredibly machiavellian: “Hi, I saw you and you looked cool so I decided to come and say hi”. Sorry Mystery. Had a nice little talk. One of the Indians was my type: handsome and in a smart classy blazer-style jacket with lycra underneath. To my credit I did manage to NOT talk straight to her and focus on her friends more while kino’ing her the most. Nice. At some point I realised the 3 set was actually a satellite set of a bigger set including some males. One was really staring at me like I’d just shat in his pint. Didn’t really faze me. In fact I took a kind of delight in it. Johnny stated his philosophy to me afterwards and it’s mine, too: If girls are with you they can talk to who they like, you have no claim over them and papping yourself because a guy starts a conversation is both Beta and scarcity mentality. If the girls want to split with some other guys then so be it. At some point the conversation died a little and I split.

Four

My state was pretty good by now. After leaving the loos I spotted an older, verging on MILF girl standing along the corridor. I walked straight up and opened. Turns out her job for the night was actually holding the door shut of a room where a presentation was taking place, cue lots of ‘human door-wedge’ jokes. I noticed through the glass the presentation was showing a cool photo of Greenwich so I started talking in really visual language, painting pictures with my words:

“do you know that view? when you stand on the top of the hill.. and dusk is just creeping in.. and you hav e the whole panaroma spread out in front of you…”

Same sort of stuff from the wedding and I think I managed one or two hits of kino. It was a bit of an odd set as she was a little older than me, but it was fun. In fact she was a perfect example of How A Woman Should Age:

  1. Be hot to start with.
  2. Have a body which doesn’t put on a lot of fat
  3. Keep slim
  4. Avoid the sun
  5. Do not smoke
  6. Do not drink to excess
  7. Have fantastic cheek and bone structure. Time and time again the older, hot women that I see are the ones with the killer cheekbones.
  8. Dress stylishly or classy
  9. Be classy
  10. As your body deteriorates develop your mind. Have something to say
  11. Be charming
  12. Have poise. Exude a strong centre
  13. Don’t have kids. If you do, then put your body back together afterwards and do not make them the entire purpose of your life

Five

Off to a new bar which was smaller and noisier and didn’t have so many sets. I spotted a 3 set, all young. Agh! too late, some Asian bloke in a snappy jacket was in there. We watched him for a bit and realised he was hyper, doing dancing-monkey and generally nothing more than a confident, drugged, AFC. He split and I went up immediately with the “excuse me me and my mates were just watching that bloke and wondering what he said to you” line. Genius! They immediately welcomed the approach and the opener itself kind of painted me as high-value as I had the nerve to criticize other approaches as if I was just totally socially suave or something. They laughed at the guy and said they thought he must have been on something. I talked to them and seemed to vibe a bit. They seemed nice. One was fit, a blonde 8.5 with a nice bod and another was her shorter, not so fit, say 6.5, and the other was not fit at all… just plain. Wisdom and Suave sauntered over and I did my best to introduce them with an accomplishment introduction, which turned into a babbled ‘they’re awesome’ or something. Set went well but somehow my tactic of not being too direct to my target failed and I ended up isolated with the least fit one! F-ck. I purposefully didn’t kino her or attempt to build any attraction. Went to the loos and frantically texted Johnny to get a switch in place but when I had come back the girls had split. Probably, I imagine, because they had thought I was after Ms Plain, has self-isolated herself for me, I had not built attraction and she had telepathically communicated this to them and they had moved on.

Six

Off to a bar club. I don’t really like this place as it’s packed and noisy but it’s good training. I opened a 3 set and suddenly realised one was OLD, like 45 or something and another was a premAge, probably about 35 but looking fu(ked, and the other was a 30 year old dumpy blonde.

I initially panicked with ‘fu(k! I’ve opened a non-hot set. There are OLD women in here. They’re all man haters and will rip me to shreds’. However I tossed this thought aside and just concentrated on having a good chat. This was actually my best chat of the night. The older woman was quite interesting and we had a great talk. When she asked how I met my friends I experimented and said it was at a ‘confidence building seminar’ and she, to my surprise, was really impressed with this. At one point the youngest one actually:

OFFERED TO BUY ME A DRINK

I almost passed out. Bless her angelic heart. Refused it of course, though.

Seven

Whilst still in the above set, at a natural break, I noticed a girl next to us was sitting on a chair carved like a hand. I opened her with “is your chair making a rude gesture at me?”. Nice little situational opener. Also builds social proof.

Eight

Next set was a 2 set just beside us. Young, say 24, UK girls. Both good bods and one really fit. Not model territory but looked a bit like a slutty Christina Aguilera and had really, really good clothes: burlesque yet classy. Their sense of value was really high and they humoured me. An interesting phenomeon occurred: they, at any chance, would turn the conversation to boring Q/A topics and then sort of (I could tell) blame me for the conversation being boring. They again asked how I knew my friends and I said ‘self development conference’. The least hot one made a ‘throat cutting’ gesture and said something like “here’s a tip, if you’re talking to people don’t mention Self Development courses”. At this point I realised that these two girls, although hot, were displaying everything I hate about (some) British girls and I thought “if you think that talking about Self Development is embarassing then I think you’re pretty f-ing pathetic. In fact, you have such low value now that I am completely turned off”. Goodbye.

Nine

The last set was an Indian girl and 2 black girls. All not fit. Good reception from them, though. The girl is from the North like me so I play the old North-card a bit. From some things she says about her familiy I actually stun her by guessing her familiy’s name. Turns out I went to school with her cousin. Amazing. From then on it was just easy. Some guy comes up who I think is their friend but is actually just a player who is socializing like me. I talk to him for a bit and he’s quite interesting. I actually consider getting his number and going for a beer with him sometime but just the thought that the first number-close I ever get is from a man would be so awful that I don’t do it. The good thin about this set was that it was just “socializing fun”. There were actually about 4 different sets interweaving, with the other dude and the Indian girl weaving between them. Not trying to get anything from anyone but just doing that “I’m out, I’m talking to lots of people, I’m having a laugh” thing. The way everyone should reallly, but doesn’t. I watched this at work and joined in and then just realised… hang on. This is fun. Just talk to everyone. Just flit from set to set. Try and join them up. Have a laugh. Why so serious wabbit? I’ll remember this set and remember how being in this “nexus” felt.

The night was over and what had I learned?

  • God I am making progress.My AA is dropping drastically. Wisdom and Suave deliberately did nothing at all to pump my state or help me with my AA and I just approached far easier than ever before. Much less prevarication. Just a sort of ‘deep breath, f**k it, go!’ attitude. The way I described it to Johnny was that I just don’t have the energy to be anxioius anymore. I can’t be bothered. I’d say my AA is in terminal decline. I really feel like this one-to-one has marked the turning point. At a rough estimate I’d track my AA like this:
Pre bootcamp 100%
On bootcamp 100%
Post bootcamp 85%
Post 121 #1 70%
Post 121 #2 55%
Post 121 #3 35%

I just don’t give that much of a sh1t anymore. I’m not saying it’s gone.. I’m still not an Approach-Machine. I still lost a few sets. I still turn my nose up at a lot of sets and find some reason not to approach them.. but my lord what progress.

  • The guys pointed out that sometimes I tend to absorb the energy level of the set. If they are at 3/5 and I go in at 4/5 then I rapidly drop to 3/5. What I should be doing is pulling them up to my level.
  • Girls are generally sh,it conversationalists. They never have to chat anyone up, to be honest. If you give them a chance to speak they ask some lame, boring, chode Q/A question and ruin any vibe. Then they will blame you for being boring!
  • Girls love being approached by: nice, polite, non-drunk, non-sleazy guys who project confidence (so they don’t have to feel that awful proxy uncomfortablness).
  • Generally girls look 5hit over 30. Except when they don’t, which is rare. Plenty of girls are what I’m going to call premAged. They are about 32 and just look… worn out. Too much sun, too much booze, too much smoking, not enough good living. It doesn’t have to be this way. I dated a 45 year old woman in 2006 when I was 32 and she was HOT. At 45!!
  • Kino is a weapon and must be used. There is no option if you want to build attraction.

After splitting from set #1 Johnny asked me why I’d wrapped up and I said I had ‘milked the set for all it was worth to me’. He laughed and asked me if I really was a ‘value giver’, as I had earlier claimed to be. I’ve though about this and think that despite the creepily cold way I phrased it that yes, I am a value giver. I believe that in each of my sets of that night I enriched those women’s nights a little. They were better off for having spoken to me than for not having. I realise this sounds horribly pompous but I struggle to see how else I can say it. Even the 2 sets that didn’t go so great those girls probably loved it because it made them feel big and even more high value.

Am I ‘using’ these sets. Yes, I am talking to them not ultimately because I want to give them value, but because I want to build social skills. However, in the course of doing this I am giving them value. Is it ‘using’ a set when you don’t want to go anywhere with it? NO!! Is that not the opposite of what is taking value? Is it not taking value when you only talk to a set because you want it go go somewhere?

I’m looking forward to the next one-to-one. I really think I am making great strides now and am starting to build up a head of steam and make real progress. I am maybe nearing the end of the beginning…

Categories: General, Reviews

David Deida’s “Way of the Superior Man” reviewed

April 28, 2010 5 comments

fuck off Germaine

I’d like to write a very brief review of this book and its relevance to the budding PUA. I bought this book because Tyler mentions it in The Blueprint Decoded. Specifically the bit I remember him mentioning goes along the lines of “picking up women is not your raison d’etre. you should be a strong man with a clear purpose, who also picks up women”. I thought this said so much it piqued my interest and led to me buying the book.

The book is around 200 pages long and is a set of numbered points on a variety of topics. This is not in any way a pickup book. This book outlines some elements of Deida’s concept of male and female spirituality and behaviour.  If your are into inner game and exploring the dynamics of male to female sexuality or the nature of ‘Alphaness’ then this book has relevance to you. If you are ‘technologist’ and are looking for ‘game stuff’ then don’t bother.

Personally I found it a very worthwhile investment and some points he made really hit home with me. I really feel that my understanding of the male/female dynamic has increased a percent or so after reading this. It is is no way politically correct and would be construed by feminists as being grossly, horribly sexist e.g.

  • Don’t expect your women to make decisions
  • Men’s purpose is their mission. Women’s purpose is the fullest expression of love in their lives.

Which I would both agree with, although given the f*cked up state of Anglo society I’d have to replace “is” with “should be” in the above sentence. Deida really believes in masculinity and although I’ve no doubt he’s probably into some seriously tree-hugging crap but he still comes out with priceless stuff like:

“It is time to evolve beyond the macho jerk ideal, all spine and no heart. It is also time to evolve beyond the sensitive and caring wimp ideal, all heart and no spine”

In broad terms I’d say if you read this you will find a lot of value in some of it and disagree with plenty of it as well. Also the language he uses is pretty hardcore spiritual gobbledigook and at places and he degenerates into barely understandable descriptions of “loving through your woman into the world and dissolving into being” and the tree-huggingness does get a bit nauseating at times.  However, taking this new-age speak with a pinch of salt and plowing through the thing I think is well worth the effort. Oh, and don’t read it if you’re not very bright and have a narrow mind, you won’t understand or like it.

The bit that really hit home to me is the importance of a ‘mission’ to a man. Me and my good friend T had long talked of this, and both have long said that there has to be more out there than the daily grind. T has even now given up working on a set of secret projects. I took last year off work to try and ‘do stuff’ (and fu-c.ked it up, but that’s another story). Deida continues to say that a man’s woman will try and distract him from his mission (so true)  yet if the man succumbs to this he will be unhappy and his woman and family will suffer. He will feel unfulfilled because he is not working towards his higher goal and will not be able to love so freely and at some deep level his woman will resent his weakness. Unless of course his mission in life is to raise and protect a family, that is, but even then she’ll probably try to test him. The book is full of generalisms like this but for me a lot of them, like this one, really rang true and helped me crystallize theories I have long held.

Here are some key points he covers which I thought were pretty important:

  • A man’s goal is his mission. A woman’s goal is the fullest expression of love in her life
  • Stop seeking the destination. You’ll never be happy in that way. Seek happiness now.
  • Act now. Start now. Never put off. Work on your mission every day, even just a little.
  • Your goals can change. Sometimes they are like onions and when you reach one you realise it is merely a step on the way to another. (this whole blog pretty much shows this happening!)
  • If you dont work on your mission you’ll never be happy and you’ll never love your woman or family properly
  • Your woman will test you. She will never stop. she tests you because she loves you
  • Dont expect her to make decisions
  • Never just agree with her for the sake of it
  • Polarity is important. masculine and feminine energy are different. If you and your partner become more alike polarity dies. Your lover is not your friend.
  • Ravish your woman. Do not be afraid to love through her and into the world.

It’s only nine quid or something on Amazon. Well worth it.

ps.

Just found this. It’s a 6 minute audio-cast of Deida speaking on pickup. Deep. Very deep. Most PUA’s aint gonna like it. I think I agree with it.

Categories: General, Reviews

One-to-one #2

April 18, 2010 Leave a comment

Last Friday saw me take my second one-to-one with Wisdom and Suave from RSG. I decided that building momentum was very important in my current phase so I negotiated a deal with the guys and have block booked four sessions, Friday being the first.

My goals for the evening were to work on my AA further and do ten approaches within the 3 hour session. As a secondary goal I also wanted to work a little, if possible, on building the post-approach interaction.

I have started to think in more depth now about building the interaction and I actually prepared a little structured routine for use. I’d recommend any newbie do the same. Don’t make it too complex but just something simple like:

Approach: have 2 approaches you’re comfortable with (e.g. Hi! I’m dan)

Hook: 1-2 things to say to qualify you being there or spike their interest (e.g. : you look like good friends. so who’s the shy one?)

Conversation: Yes, yes it should ultimately be ‘build attraction’ or ‘vibe’ but as a newbie I think ‘conversation’ is a better goal. I have just prepared 4 conversation set-pieces which I can keep and pull out as required. These are not literally lists of topic ideas but more rounded conversation set pieces designed to be interactive and build a conversational dynamic. (e.g. a Values Elicitation discussion or a threaded opinion story).

I’d also prepare a little list of techniques to kind of work on at the same time if you are able:

Eye contact

Big smile

Loud voice

Body language

Kino

DHV

etc

So, we went to the first bar. Same place as last time but I’m familiar with it. There were plenty of sets but I immediately broke my 3 second rule and pontificated quite a long time before doing the first. In actual fact Wisdom just got me to ask a mixed set who the current song was by. That kind of loosened me up a bit so with some further steeling up I did my first set. Went pretty well. A fat, pretty American girl and her plain British friend. They were keen to talk and very friendly. I was in set about 15 minutes and left of my own accord. The guys said that the cute one was giving me a few subtle IOIs which is great from a first set. They also praised me and said to stay in set so long for a first set is a good acheivement. I think if the atmosphere is low energy and the girls are fairly receptive that is one of my strong points, that I can stay in set a long time. Building attraction is another thing, though.

We’d already noticed a two set at a table who’d been drinking cocktails. One left to go to the loo so after some encouragement I went and opened the other with ‘thought I’d keep you company while you’re waiting for your friend’, then made a joke about her eating all the tortillas before her friend got back. Was fairly well received and I sat myself down. Friend came back and she was a mid-30’s, slightly weathered, scrawny, frizzy haired Antipodean. Uh-oh. Gave me a kind of suspicious look but I managed to draw her in and get a few smiles and laughs.

Off to the next bar. This was much higher enery and really packed. My state wasn’t really that high but I felt a bit more ‘flowing’ than earlier or even than the previous week. Suave spotted a 3 set in the corner who were being kind of fenced in by chodes doing their “let’s dance next to girls to make them like us” stuff. I squeezed past them and introduced myself. By now I was back on my favourite opener:

“Hi, I noticed you guys and thought you looked quite cool so I thought I’d come talk to you”.

Pretty straightforward isn’t it! I really think “openers” are the least important yet most over-discussed part of game.

This set went OK but I was peeved to notice two girls immediately turn away from me to resume conversation leaving just one to talk to me. Suave said afterwards this was “self isolation” and that they had already assessed me, found me value enough to proceed and isolated themselves to give me a chance with their friend. Nice! I’ve seen this happene before and now it explains it. So the secret women mind-signals work both ways: they can cast you out in a fraction of a second or cockblock you, or alternatively if you are high value they can disappear to give you a chance at the prize. Interesting. Talked to this girl for a bit. She was British and white so I was less comfortable than normal due to my massive baggage in this area but I tried my best and it went fairly well. It ended on a “catch you later” which is a good sign.

The next set I opened was a challenge. A big group of about seven girls all drunk and having high-energy fun. It was tough but a good learning experience. I was teasing one of them and asking her to do some breakdance when their eyes lit up and they turned on me and demanded I do breakdancing. It was like human sacrifice. I made whiney excuses then did some silly robotics lame moves to try and placate them. MISTAKE. Not like they lynched me or anything but my value dropped and I definitely failed a shit-test. As Suave/Wisdom said the best move would have been to either not do it at all, or do it but in a facetious way which disprespects the demand. I finished up by fulfilling a challenge Wisdom had set me, namely to ask a girl if she’d played the game Mousetrap. I thought this was lame and would produce scorn but to my surprise it got a great reaction. Two girls started talking about the game and how infuriating it was. “Commonalities which appear to be unique” Wisdom called it. Everyone has played Mousetrap.

After this the guys wanted me to open a girl on her own but when I got close I saw the tattoos and weird skanky look and bottled it. Mistake. The whole idea is to open people you are not comfortable with. Idiot!

The next set was a 3 set and a few interesting things went down. Firstly when I opened the quite attractive older oz girl immediately said “we’ve all got boyfriends!” which surprised me. I acted all shocked and told them I was just Mr Social and not trying to chat anyone up. Kind of true really at present. Ok the two interesting things. First off when I opened the oz girl had no attraction for me. However her friend complained I shook her hand too hard.. this led to a discussion of my hands being small for my size.. thankfully no old-wives tales were brought up but the oz girl held up her hand to compare and we did the hand pressing thing. I looked her in the eyes and something, somewhere flickered for a second. I then asked her to play mercy and we started the old hand-squeeze game. She was really strong and we were laughing and shoving each other about. I then got her to pull a pose and felt her (incredibly toned) biceps. Suddenly from this minute of physical contact… BANG. I felt she was attracted to me. I could kind of feel it in the air. Very, very interesting. Just a few looks, a feeling. It was great. That few seconds was a revelation to me. I didn’t really follow up though, basically because I’m not yet sure how to play the set long term and maintain and guide attraction and state so I made my excuses and left, saying I would meet her later on.

The other interesting thing was that while this had been going on right next to us was a total stud guy. He was huge and very muscular and leaning in the most Alpha way possible against a pillar. He had a 3 set of plump little British girls competing for him! Brilliant. I bet he was the one that opened them as well, and managed to manoevre himself there. Anyway as he’s there with massive social proof the black girl in my set kind of freaks out and can’t stand it anymore and rushes over to the other set and starts AFOG’ing them and kinoing the Stud Guy. He’s a fu**king player! A great example to me of classic PUA tactics working in action.

My second last set was the worst. Late 30’s feck ugly British skank with her awful plump little mate. The skank actually stood back and gave me a look of total disdain when I opened. They humoured me for a minute then she said “look we’re actually having a really detailed conversation…”. I did my ‘no problem’ bit and left. Probably did it a bit too Beta-ery but will work on that next time.

The last set was the best. Two Italians and a Columbian girl seated. They seemed incredibly grateful to have a guy come talk to them. They were all good looking as well which made it weirder. They were charming, cute, warm and friendly. I gave a signal and got Wisdom and Suave onboard as the set was going really well. I didn’t pull any major game except teasing them a little bit and saying they looked like cartoon characters. At one point in the conversation my patter died so I lamely just simply said “I used to work in China”, the least subtle DHV ever but holey smoke it worked and they were straight in, fascinated, asking me questions. The fittest one was staring straight at me throughout the whole thing. Finished with a group Facebook close and left. Awesome.

Results

  • My pre-prepared conversational structure was reasonably useful but quite often went out of the window. Still useful to have lists of pre-prepared pieces though.
  • I still have AA.
  • Game is SO women-dependant. Amazing how the vile skanks blew me out yet the gorgeous Colombo-Italians welcomed me.
  • I am becoming much more aware of ‘the matrix’. In the bar I could see social dynamics I previously couldn’t. I could see the Chode Crystal. I could see the AFCs staring at the sets. Big, massive, cool black dudes too scared to approach little girls. I could see high energy and low energy parts of the bar.
  • The instant attraction with the Oz girl was a new experience for me. Wow! I can’t remember doing that before. Holy sh!t this is like magic. It’s all there in the literature, the importance of kino and control and body language but until you experience it you just don’t get it. From now on I am going to be more aware of this and if I get the chance experiment more with kino and physical control, as I do believe now it plays a major part in instant s8xual chemistry.
  • My state was not as high as the previous session but my game was better. As the trainers put it I ‘vibed’ more. I was more relaxed and definitely my conversational skills are getting better with each session.
  • State and energy are fascinating. As Tyler says, if you see some girls at energy level X then unless you are offering a higher energy level you are unlikely to get success. I can now see how this is true.

Conclusions

  • I’m learning a LOT. I am changing from one session to the next.
  • The sessions are having effect. Even though I still have AA it is slightly diminishing. It is a few percent less than after the previous one-to-one, definitely. I also did not really have to do my visualization exercise to anywhere near as deep as the previous session. Maybe 25% as deep. I think I am getting tired of AA! My stand-up-comedy teacher actually said something similar. She said eventually you just get tired of the neves and don’t have the energy for it anymore (the nerves).
  • Warm up sets are good.
  • There are different types of game. There is low energy, conversational based and there is high-energy stuff. I am currently much more low-energy.
  • I am revising my goals which I only recently set. I am no longer going to push just for numbers of approaches. This is a nonsense. I am going to look at quality of interaction. If I get blowouts then fair enough get my 10 per session in, but one quality interaction with a N-close is worth ten blowouts. From now on the goals change.
  • Game is hard. I am only now starting to really internalize how hard game is. Harder than playing the piano. Harder than learning a language. This is going to take YEARS. I want more than ever to get to where I’m going. I am going to step up the training. I want to be building up and doing more and more. I need to be going out at least TWICE per week and doing game each night. Ontop of this I need to be getting in one daygame session a week in. As well as this I want to , over time, start to build in daily conversational skills and get to the stage where I am talking to dozens of people, of all shapes and sizes, as part of my daily commute and life..

Last conclusion is a biggie. Analyzing my sets from last night I realised that the most difficult ones were the British women. Given my mate has just had an awful experience with a foul time-wasting Mancunian girl it would be very easy for me at this point to start to let little traces of anglo-hate creep in. I MUST NOT forget, the point of this is to give western women a chance. I was talking about this today with someone and I put it this way:

Say 75% of UK women are horrible bitches. Say it’s true. Well if you let it ‘get to you’ then you will become filled with negative thoughts and it will prejudice your chance to get one of the good 25%.

This so true. I HAVE to disregard these premature conclusions. I must keep an open mind. No conclusions allowed until six months time otherwise my great experiment will not work!

Categories: General, Reviews