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DreamChink Update

March 8, 2011

Let’s recap. I opened her on Oxford Street a few days before Christmas and I had my first instant date with her. It went brilliantly and there was attraction.

After xmas I follow it up and arrange dinner and drinks.

Date 1

A good night. It’s fun and relaxed. Over cocktails we have rapport. I’m a bit too much in my head and don’t really know how to escalate so there’s no K-close.

Date 2

We go for a walk and have a pub lunch. Ok. Not much spice.

I then go on holiday. A good few weeks pass. I re-initiate with some text game.

Date 3 (Feb 22nd)

We go bowling. It’s great. We’ve clicked. There’s plenty of kino. We go for food then drinks. It’s on. She lost the bet at bowling so I make her buy all the food and drinks. We can feel it. I verbally sexually escalate a little but am new to this so don’t do it enough. What I do has a little bit of an effect, though. I’m nice and arrogant and funny though. I unintentionally do Intellectual Mastery game and demonstrate total understanding and mastery in her reality. We depart on high spirits. She says she’s had a ‘wonderful’ night. She says that I’m paying on the next date. No K-close but hugs.

Text Game

Friday Feb 25th

I call on the evening and she answers, is pleasant but says she’s busy can she call me back. She doesn’t.

Monday Feb 28th

I text her:

Q: What’s yell0w and doesn’t answer phone calls?

No reply. 2 hours later I reply:

A: a banana.

I find this hilarious and laugh a lot to myself about it.

Tues Mar 1st

I give her a call the next day. She says sorry for not calling, oh actually she’s busy now her landlord’s helping her fix her boiler. Can she call me back? Sigh… ok.

She doesn’t.

This is weird. I know she likes me. I figure that on Date 3 she suddenly realised it was on and that we were going to pair up. Because I didn’t shunt it into ‘lover territory’ with a K-close she’s now been at the mercy of her tiny, confused brain. She doesn’t know what to do. She’s confused so she does what most women do and that’s shut it down and run. Or she starts over-thinking the whole thing and decides she’s not ready for a relationship, etc.

Whatever…. Bitches Be Crazy.

Thurs Mar 3rd

I have a session with Skeletor on that Thursday. He says it’s not over. She probably just wants me to chase her more.

Sunday Mar 6th

I call her Sunday. My my… I have learned some practical chops from game. Pre-game I would have gone in all serious and asked what she wanted, or would have been Beta and asked what I’d done wrong.

Post-Game what I did was as follows…

I call her. Act like nothing’s happened. Am jolly and fluff a lot.

She warms up but then guilts herself and starts some long, rambling story about how she’s cut her foot so can’t leave the house which is why she didn’t call me. Blah blah. It’s ridiculous.

“Is it that I’m too sexy? Are you intimidated by it?”

“Oh MY GOD!” She squeals. “Are you mad? Blah blah. Who told you you are super sexy?”

“Lots of girls did. They get flustered around me because I’m so sexy. Like you do… blah blah”.

She tries to tease me but fails.

I stop macking her and go authentic. “I KNOW you like me” I state honestly and plainly.

There’s a seconds pause and she doesn’t deny it whatsoever, just makes ‘ummm ahhhh’ sounds. I continue

“and I like you. And I know YOU know that I like you”.

More ‘aaaahhhh… ummmm’ sounds.

“and I KNOW we have a great time together. I want to see you again.”. Stated simply and boldly.

She mumbles some gibberish.

“Aahhh Ok… well… but my foot… I’m not sure when I can come out… I will call you when it’s better. Ok? In a few weeks?”.

“No. Not ok”.

[genuinely NOT OK. i’m not waiting for a woman to cal me. boundary reached.]

Stunned silence.

“I’m a MAN. You know I’m a man. A man makes plans. He doesn’t follow a girl’s plans. You KNOW that I can’t accept that plan”.

[utter truth. This is calibrated. If the woman on the end of the line has an IQ anywhere near approaching mine, is a lawyer, doctor, if I see her more of an equal then I don’t have major problems if they genuinely are really busy.]

Stunned weird noises.

“You need to decide if you want to see me. I want to see you. Tuesday or Wednesday evening this week.”

“I’m busy Wednesday. Ok Tuesday”

“Great”

“But Tuesday lunchtime not evening… I don’t want to be back late. Tuesday 1pm?”.

[give and take]

“Ok”.

Tuesday

11:37: Time for you to wake up sleepy..

[running joke about how late she gets up]

12:26: Can u come to leicester square. I m hvinga meeting here. It seems taking longer than I thought. Let s say 1.20pm?!

12:39: No. Don’t be naughty. Come to [the pre-arranged location]. Sms me before u set off… 2pm wld be ok I am with friends too.

[Definitely not ok. In fact my mum would say she was fucking rude and would probably walk round slapping young girls in the face if she knew what shit they pulled. SMS me 20 minutes before meeting time and ask me to come to her. Fuck off.]

[also total lie. i’m not with friends. i’m at home doing a programming test online]

13:24: Maybe another time, I hv to meet a client @ 2.30pm.

[My initial reaction is that I hate her. After a minute this passes. See thoughts below]

14:20: A client? U have a job?

[Zero acknowledgment that she stood me up. I neg her as I know she doesn’t have a job yet]

No further sms.

So…

First assessment. FUCK has my game improved. I told DrunkenBaker this exchange thinking nothing of it at all and he screamed in delight saying it was “unbelievable”. This is just how I roll dog. Getting the girl might be hard for me but I guarantee you even if she’s a 9 I have cast-iron boundaries of what I’ll accept and wont.

Second point. FUCK am I in touch with my intent. My behaviour, I believe, was a lot more alpha than the average chode.

I like this girl. She turns me on and she’s a nice person. We’re very compatible. I KNOW we can date and I KNOW her life will never be the same again regardless of whether we stay together. I know where this girls energy is at, I’ve seen her before, and I know that it’s close to the polar opposite of me and my reality will become her world. I also realise this is pretty intimidating for her.

What’s she doing? Well first off… let’s not forget Burto’s disclaimer:

Bitches Be Crazy.

You never really know what’s going on inside their minds. If men behaved like women you’d pity them and say they were ‘touched’ and special needs.

My best guess is that she’s intimidated by the whole thing. Possibly she wants me to work and chase for it more. Was her SMS of 13:24 a shit test? I think so. Part of me is angry: she agrees to meet me for lunch and allocates me a gap of an hour and a half. That’s assuming she actually did have someone to meet at 2.30. She probably did.

Now my pre-game self would say “Mmmm if she allocates an hour and a half then she doesn’t want this thing to happen as obviously a man would leave the rest of the day free for snogging, hand holding, giggling, etc”.

Wrong wrong wrong. Remember: bitches be crazy. Women do not think in straight lines. The capacity to connect these items together is completely beyond them. Their ability to sabotage their own happiness by their total logistical incompetence is beyond measure.

Man calculation

Meet girl @ 1pm.

Schedule meeting @ 2.30 pm.

2.30 – 1 = 1.5 hrs

Like girl? Yes.

1.5 hours enough to date girl = no.

Total = suggest different time

Woman calculation

Meet guy @1pm

Schedule meeting @ 2.30 pm.

No connection of two items.

Clouds are like cotton wool.

Total = I like to wrap in a blanket on my sofa and watch Gray’s Anatomy.

There’s a good chance that she did in fact decide to prevaricate on the ‘me’ question and filled her week up with stuff. I then force her into action so she allocates me a slot and then her timings get fucked up. Perhaps. Or perhaps she has just changed her mind. The point is you just don’t know. You are not dealing with a logical entity here. I can’t believe they let women fly planes.

How to play it from here

What would a high value guy with options do? He’d leave it and let her stew. At the weekend send some ‘fun’ text game suggesting I’m out doing incredible awesome things and having a great time. Paint a picture of my colourful vibrant world and show lack of concern that she’s not in it. She hopefully will start to get jealous at this.

After X days go past give her an innocuous call or SMS to join me for doing some wild, awesome activity that she can’t help but want to do.

Basically I am 75% sure that once I get this girl in the flesh on a date then it’s going to happen. She probably knows it too. This is the last dance of the courtship navigation.

ANY COMMENTS OR ADVICE ON HOW TO INTERPRET OR PLAY THIS ARE MOST APPRECIATED!

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Categories: General
  1. sandee
    March 8, 2011 at 11:22 pm

    dude Im little thrown off why you go so many dates without bangin her and the other posts you seem abit obsessed with her, its like you are too overly excited on this particular girl.WTF? I usually go on close first dates until I moved to south beach and its been somewhat difficult once you get LMR and dealing with Latina women, who want courtship eventhough they are turned on and like you.
    so can you explain why you still talking to her after several dates and havent closed her? is she shit testing you for courtship BF material? Its seems like it isnt on and she is leading the frame. with her push pull and getting you to invest in various dates. please explain why you or how you determine go on more dates.cause I usually NEXT if they after 1st date arent responsive.more dates to me is you courtship,weirdly scary predictable to me.thats why I avoid that but it would be cool to hear your thoughts man, cause you seem to know what you are doing 🙂

    • bhodisatta
      March 9, 2011 at 12:30 pm

      Hi. First off 3 dates without a close is perfectly normal for the non-pua world/normal people. People often get to know each other for MONTHS before hooking up. Secondly yes, I did really like this girl and was quite happy to go out with her as my gf. Lastly…. my game isn’t that tight on day 2s. I’m still inexperienced. I am only just learning how to escalate and relax on dates. I didn’t close because I didn’t have the skill to. I’d have closed her on Date 1 if I could have. You live and learn.

      • TK
        March 9, 2011 at 2:47 pm

        Its interesting how good one can breakdown someone elses interaction, but once it is personal then all is lost. She gave you 3 chances to kiss her. Now you are in the friend zone. The interaction became non-sexual and you will not be able to turn it around by being frustrated

  2. Tim
    March 8, 2011 at 11:40 pm

    In general, an explicitly very firm style of interaction can backfire more often than not, I concluded after experimenting with it. I have no doubt that it turns some women on, but I’m guessing that for most, it reeks of “control freak” which scares them more than it turns them on, and remember, even if she felt great attraction toward you during the bowling date, women can forget that shit almost immediately, in which case being super-firm with them later can seem inappropriate. I think it’s a style best reserved for when you’re certain you’ve hooked the girl and are close to having sex with her, or have already banged her, and even then the style is to be used sparingly and with a playful vibe (which doesn’t prevent you from communicating that you will not be a doormat for anyone). For example, in your phone convo:

    “I’m a MAN. You know I’m a man. A man makes plans. He doesn’t follow a girl’s plans. You KNOW that I can’t accept that plan”

    that might have triggered her “control freak” alert. To avoid any possibility of that you’d have to (and perhaps you did) deliver it playfully, but that’s hard to do on the phone versus in person. Not sure how I would have responded in real-time to her proposal to touch base in a few weeks–that’s an awful proposal and an indication that you had a challenge on your hands here.

    Also, in the text game:

    12:39: No. Don’t be naughty. Come to [the pre-arranged location]. Sms me before u set off… 2pm wld be ok I am with friends too.

    It seems similarly dangerous. The “Don’t be naughty” is excellent (because it sounds both firm and playful) but the initial “No” combined with the rest of it seems too firm to me overall.

    This girl already had a history of being disrespectful of you (by not calling you back), so when this last issue came up, throwing a dart to chose your option would have been fine. You could have said you couldn’t meet her at Leicester Square and suggested rescheduling then and there; you could have agreed to meet her at Leicester in the hopes that she’s just a HUGE flake and terrible at time management, and didn’t mean to screw up; or you could have chosen a softer variation on the “firm” approach. But in any case, it was a last shot, and it’s definitely over now (because she really disrespected you by not responding). Sorry Man.

    • bhodisatta
      March 9, 2011 at 12:26 pm

      The verbal stuff was all done with a strong air of playfullness. Would a respectful, reasonably intelligent well brought-up girl have treated me like that? no. Looks like Game has been a success for me as I’ve now got the strength for my behaviours to select out women who aren’t right for me.
      I get where you’re at though. Women don’t want a bossy boots. Who does? But a man who can deal with their shit…. a good woman will want that.
      I DID give her an option on the last message. I delayed the date by an hour. That’s a concession. Anyway: fuck her.

  3. DrunkenBaker
    March 9, 2011 at 12:17 am

    Typical fucking chink behaviour. This is Chinese behaviour, not woman behaviour. Boddhi, you’ve lived in the Middle Kingdom, this is that ingrained backward spoilt only child mentality that comes with the territory. All I could think of when I read this was of the innumerous times i have asked a Chinese person in the past to do something, and when you arrive they’re asleep over the desk and say “Sorry… Sorry… Actually, maybe the bank is closed today,” Immature laziness and selfishness due to over-doting parents over-providing for their offspring and a work ethic where nobody takes responsibility.

    Ugh. Reading this gave me flashbacks of pouting moody Chinese girls stopping dead in the street and shuffling round in a circle so that their back is constantly turned to their wimpy boyfriend who tries to get her to turn around with soothing words and promises to buy lunch. This is what she is trying to do here.

    You should do her a favour and rape her like Nanjing.

    • bhodisatta
      March 9, 2011 at 12:22 pm

      I’m not sure you’re right. Plenty of other PUAs get these frame-games from non-chink women. Still, she disrespected me so I’m not running after her, and if I ever impregnate her I may well leave her on the savannah for the lions.

  4. Doug1
    March 9, 2011 at 8:50 pm

    Tim’s wrong.

    B:“Is it that I’m too sexy? Are you intimidated by it?”

    G:“Oh MY GOD!” She squeals. “Are you mad? Blah blah. Who told you you are super sexy?”

    B:“Lots of girls did. They get flustered around me because I’m so sexy. Like you do… blah blah”.

    You last line wasn’t a bad comeback. But her response to your question is telling you that she doesn’t feel that you sexually escalated enough. She’d probably perceive this as she likes you, but isn’t feeling that much of a spark. A little but…

    You definitely should have kissed her by this point. YOu should have the first date.

    Basically your game seems very uneven to me. You’ve got alpha moments but also lots of beta ones.

    As for the lunch date she flaked on, you shouldn’t have accepted a lunch date as 4th date with no banging. She suggested lunch when you pressed her and she felt you might walk away from her, as a way of keeping you warm and trying, but still putting off her decision on you. She’s likely to dumb you by inaction at this stage, but you still have some chance I’d guess.

    Your next date should it happens should be an evening situation designed for sexual escalation. Don’t accept anything else. I’d wait a week or two and then text something like: “Ok, I’ve decided to give you another chance.” The tell her to meet you at some quite soft music lounge type bar. Bounce her to another one. Escalate sexual tension with teasing, sexual intensity on your part, push pull, light kino, staring into her eyes. Tease her with an almost kiss. Then slowly light kiss her but break it off soon. More staring into her eyes with sexual intensity. Strong kiss. But not for TOO long, and be the one to break it off.

    Then try to bounce her to you place, to share some win and so you can show her pics from your Singapore and Thailand trip. Try to get the lay. Push with sexual intensity until real resistance, but if you get that, back off unapologetically and suddenly somewhat aloofly, and build comfort some more with stories. The return to build up sexual escalation and intensity again.

    • bhodisatta
      March 9, 2011 at 9:53 pm

      This is good advice. Thank you.
      You’re right.. my game is uneven. I’m trying.

  5. 50flags
    March 10, 2011 at 1:09 pm

    Hey buddy… loved this post… takes me back to the infamous ‘i fucked a playboy model’ debacle…. the shit that this girl pulled is exactly the same stuff as her…

    she used to test me just like this… got to the stage where i slept naked next to this creature with the most perfect body you could imagine, and i didnt (or couldn’t) try to escalate on her once… all part of a massive 6 month frame battle that ended with me fucking her on the floor of jambone’s mums house with a student listening from the next room….i don’t think i would have the patience to deal with a girl like that anymore…

    I say keep going… dont invest too heavily… just drop Subtle dhv’s and keep the banter rolling

  6. ASF
    March 10, 2011 at 7:09 pm

    The other thing I’d say is that you’re not being congruent. You act confident and say lots of girls like you and think you’re sexy but you don’t kiss her. It doesn’t add up. I think Date 3 was make or break. I would move on and chalk it up to experience.

    • bhodisatta
      March 11, 2011 at 11:52 am

      Oh absolutely. I’m trying to fake it to make it. No lies about that.

  7. March 11, 2011 at 1:18 am

    You’re probably already doing this but… are you making the logistics easy?

    I had a load of trouble getting an Argentinian girl into bed back in 2008. She was being really difficult. We didn’t really get on at all, we just had physical attraction. I’d take her out in Soho etc. But then after an hour or two it would come time to escalate and ask her if she wanted to go home. Given that the date would never go that well due to her horrible personality (we’d almost be semi arguing if you know what I mean) it just wouldn’t feel right to do this.

    The I read about the importance of logistics.

    If you live in a neighborhood with some local bars take her out to a bar in your neighborhood. When hopping to another bar suggest getting a few drinks at your place on the way. Once she is inside pour some wine then shag her.

    You’ll probably meet her at the tube station (as it is your neighbourhood). Say you left your wallet at your house and pop in with her to get it on the way to the first bar/place you are going to get some food. That way she has already been to your house and popping back in for a glass of wine later on while en route to another bar isn’t such a big deal.

    This single tactic really improved the amount of sex that I got on Day 2s. Before I started doing this I would take girls out in central London. I would take the girl out to one bar then perhaps another, then it would be a really awkward proposition – “So… do you want to come back to mine?”

    You don’t have to live somewhere super trendy like Covent garden for this to work either. It worked plenty of times for me while I was living in Shepherds Bush…

    • bhodisatta
      March 11, 2011 at 11:53 am

      Yeah I know this stuff and plan to use it. I live really close to lots of bars and restaurants.

  8. Tim
    March 11, 2011 at 2:27 am

    This is a relevant (and good, and short) video about dealing with women who don’t want to commit 100% to a proposed date:

    http://www.askmen.com/video/dating/1160-dealing-with-postponed-dates-video.html

    • bhodisatta
      March 11, 2011 at 11:57 am

      Yeah it’s ok. I know it all already though. This is how I dealt with dream-chink. I quoshed her “i’ll call you” crap and when she tried to mess me about I blew her off. No regrets.

  9. Peter Phoenix
    March 13, 2011 at 10:10 am

    3 dates and no kiss? Window has closed. Drop her.

  1. March 9, 2011 at 2:28 am
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