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It’s ALL broken!

June 30, 2011

I’d previously assumed that in other parts of society there were plenty of middle class people out their whose relationships with the opposite sex weren’t fucked up, they dated regularly, like the opposite gender and eventually found someone and settled into a happy long term relationship and marriage. I was randomly wandering through the kitchen the other day when it hit me; there aren’t. These people don’t exist in great numbers. It’s a myth.  Within a certain social grouping it’s all fucked. Apart from a few tiny exceptions it’s ALL broken. There aren’t offices full of men and women with happy dating lives. The system is totally broken. The idea that it must be working out there for other people is no more than that. Look at the evidence. Find me these dozens of 20 and 30 something men and women who have trouble free dating lives. You can’t. Find me hundreds of thousands of bitter, unhappy, single 30-somethings. Easy.

This may have been staringly obvious to some readers but I’d bet a fair few in the game thought the same as me. They thought it was them and men like them and they assumed for the majority of people it was all running normally. I’d like them to reassess that. Take a solid look round at all the 20/30 somethings that you know in both the big cities and the suburbs. Go through a mental list of your friends and see how many are happy, have satisfying dating lives or are in a relationship they’re delighted to be in. I think when you sit and think through it you’ll get a shock.

It’s all broken! It’s not just us. It’s almost everyone! This is the big secret right in front of our faces. For the middle class in the UK then for 90% of people the system is miserably broken and it’s little wonder that being middle class, professional and living in a big city in Britain is by and large an utterly miserable and unfulfilling experience.

So the entire social system behind male/female interactions is by and large broken. Huge tranches of the highest quality people in our society are growing old and infertile and dying out. This is a truth so huge and so obvious that very few seem to be able to see what’s right in front of their faces.

What’s gone wrong? I won’t drone at length about feminism but will come at it from a different angle. Think back to living in halls of residence at university. Equal numbers of males and females from a roughly heterogenous racial and social grouping living AND WORKING together in close proximity and socializing together. The result? Happiness. Large social circles. Huge networks of friends. Lots and lots of people hooking up and having fun. And almost no burning bitterness towards the opposite sex. Even failed Betas like myself had huge amounts of female friends who I respected and liked.

Let’s wind these groups of people ten years into the future. They’re not 20 and in their third year at Uni, they’re 31 and living in London. By now they probably have a whole strata of bitterness towards the opposite sex, blaming them for not living up to their expectations and this strata, ever deepening like a coastal shelf with time, further preventing their happiness.

Let me reiterate this. When at university males and females in general got along splendidly. The women didn’t resent men and vica versa. Let me quickly break down why the system is broken.

Social networks

People leave uni and move to new cities for work. They have little means or time to create a social network a fraction as good as the one they previously had. They have fewer friends, far less fun and about 3% of the time to do anything but work that they previously had.

Without a large social network people can’t get exposed to large amounts of new people and slowly get to know each other and work out who they like. The number of hookups plummets. Men go to bars to try and find women. Women go to bars to feel validated. They waste the precious years of their youth flaunting their value or sitting at home in their tiny, lonely apartments watching TV. It’s not a succession of unfulfilling relationships which makes people bitter… oh no.. here’s my core argument: it’s a lack of relationships at all which makes people bitter. People just aren’t having enough quality relationships. Men and women in the prime of their youth are spending large amounts of time single.

Spend lots of time single, add in a keen awarness of one’s ageing self, constant stress and fatigue from work, too much caffeine and alcohol and zero time for the self and you will crust up with misery like a never-cleaned toilet.

A solution

Yes us bloggers love to talk about feminism and social conditioning. It does have a lot to blame but I’d argue that if you put men and women in close proximity and have some commonality or a common task between them their natural, DNA-encoded joy of sharing each other’s company will come out and they will start to do what men and women have been doing since they popped into existence: getting along.

I’ve thought of a radical solution. Anyone with a spare billion or so could implement it.

Start with London.

  • Buy up a few tower blocks. Gut them and turn them into halls of residence. Corridors of small ensuite bedrooms with communal kitchens, TV-rooms, Gyms and games rooms. Think Pool, Salsa. Anything real and not digital.
  • Only singles can move in. And you can only stay there a year straight.
  • Brutally (and illegally) control access criteria.
  • 6 women to every 5 men.
  • Scatterings of super-hot non-British (Latin, Eastern European, Asian) immigrant women.
  • Homogenous groupings on social background and nationality.
  • You have to be single to get in.
  • Sophisticated smart-card system ensures that occupants HAVE to socialize a minimum amount and attend dance, acting or comedy classes. Dance is obligatory (more on this in a later post).
  • All male residents go on an induction course centred around learning about game and social conditioning.
  • All female residents go on an induction course centred around being taught they are not princesses. Like in a prison “scared straight” program single, infertile, high-achieving 40 year old women are brought in to meet the 20-something girls.
  • Everyone only works part-time. Impossible? Why? Simply throttle the welfare state down to that which can be supported by 10% tax, slash foreign-aid (except to like-minded countries like Japan) to zero and carry out a simple cost/benefit analysis by computer on every single immigrant who has entered the UK in the last 30 years. Well.. most would be gone as the welfare state goes but for the remainder if their wealth doesn’t pay for their health, their (non-working) family’s health and education and their illiterate grandparent’s (expensive) health and pension then… goodbye! The removal of millions of parasites crashes property values so the “real” cost of a room in such a location in London would probably be a couple of hundred quid a month. Tops. Now everyone is centrally based, so doesn’t commute, plus only works part time, people are not exhausted and stressed and have the time to spend time with each other.
  • Social activities are not enough. Shared tasks are required. The smartcard system is extended and people are required to engage in various mixed-gender character-building activities together over the course of months. Building tree-houses, learning Korean.. whatever.

The result? Mass dating and fucking and happiness on a scale never seen before.

Assuming the right-wing quasi-fascist benevolent dictatorship required for such changes never goes ahead then I say in all seriousness if all you do is set up halls of residences in the centre of cities for 20/30-something single professionals and carefully make sure there are 6 women to every 5 men then you would go a long way to stopping the frighteningly quick extinction of the British city-dwelling middle class. But that’s not what the Government wants is it?

PS

I forgot to mention who the current system isn’t broken for.

  • Anyone not middle class.
  • Non-white communities.
  • Any woman above a 7 and under 35.
  • Players who work in bullshit industries (marketing, PR, fashion, etc) full of women.
  • Betas who are happy being Beta, work in a bullshit job (charity, politics, media, etc) and are happy with their dumpy, bossy girlfriend of 7 years.
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Categories: General
  1. Jason Webb
    June 30, 2011 at 6:05 pm

    I recently and randomly discovered this blog and have to say reading it has become a pleasure. The quality of the writing combined with the Bill Hicks type humour and the dark view of social and sexual relations, you should seriously consider a career in writing.

    This post is masterful, regardless of the excessive generalisations and the “misery” lit feel, that are used in the argument, you have a profound and insightful point, it is the atomisation of social relations that creates a perverse romantic economy of dating sites (which fuels the validation of low value women through attention and interest of high-value men who they happily disqualify (side example I met a well aged kim cattral type recently who told me she received 279 winks on a dating site, I also created a fake female profile on mysinglefriend and was receiving 10 emails a day).

    This atomised social network erodes the value of men turning them into bitter failed betas (hence the pua industry and the exponentional growth of internet porn), and creates perverse and self-defeating behaviours amongst women.

    In Game Theory this is known as “bad equilibrium” where the focus on individual interests and not a shared goal defeats the interests of all, welcome to the dating world of a urban 21st century city..bad equilibrium. The only ones who profit from this are the dating,porn, shopping sites and those late night indian grocers who will provide the sour bottle of cheap brandy and salty snacks for the frustrated male on a saturday night whilst he counts the hours of his life drifting away in frustrated solitude mining his sky plus box for episodes of 24 and The Wire.

    Keep on posting bro.

    • bhodisatta
      June 30, 2011 at 10:47 pm

      Dude, this comment was more eloquent than my article. Write a blog, I’ll read it. Thanks.

  2. Tim9000
    June 30, 2011 at 7:08 pm

    You’re being unfair about “Anyone not middle class” and “Non-white communities”. They have hardship too. I think of the various cleaning staff I’ve known over the years working two jobs and living in apartments that are probably not very nice (and are probably packed).

    “Betas who are happy being Beta, work in a bullshit job (charity, politics, media, etc) and are happy with their dumpy, bossy girlfriend of 7 years.” It’s not just bullshit jobs considering that that describes well over 50% of the engineers I know perfectly well.

    The system also works for the women who are happy with their low-key boyfriends. Contrary to what the game blogosphere says, that’s a huge fraction of women. As far as I can tell, only a slice of the population (both male and female) has a sexual temperament significantly distinct from relative asexuality. The relationships that work well are when two people like that are together. It’s quite common.

    I believe your thesis that dissatisfaction is widespread is correct, but it’s not everyone. Yank sex drive out of the equation and it’s easier to be happy.

  3. July 1, 2011 at 12:45 am

    Tim9000: We are talking about the system and how it is broken. Those smiling Polish and Nigerian cleaners you talk about may be decent and nice people, but that’s not the point. Multiply that individual nice immigrant by millions and you’ve displaced the original population, destroyed the shared cultural values of the nation, and created a draining tax system that kills all creativity in people higher up the educational value chain who eventually take their PHds and rocket science to countries where they don’t have to pay for millions of unproductive (but “nice”) people.

    I’d disagree with one point on the above post. I don’t believe the system even benefits hot women in their 20s. The only people it benefits are… alpha males! The natural hyperamous instinct of the hot woman convinces her to chase after a limited supply of pumps and dumps with choosy alpha males. They don’t want to fuck just anyone – these Sex and the City loving bitches want their own high status Mr Big. After years of chasing alpha cocker, they wake up one day to discover they are 35, have lost their looks, and those alpha males aren’t interested anymore. Enter the loveless settled marriage with a beta male where her pumped up unrealistic expectations have ruined any chance of her being happy. Voila – you’ve got a loveless marriage where she resents her beta hubby, he’s not getting any sex, and the next generation gets fucked in the head come the inevitable divorce.

    Any man of reasonable intelligence should John Galt it out of the UK while they still can.

  4. bhodisatta
    July 1, 2011 at 1:02 am

    verticallyepicanthicvag you are indeed right. The hot 20 somethings generally do end up with broken lives and as The Oracle Roissy has pointed out, and demonstrated, the only people to benefit are the alphas fucking themselves sick as Rome burns.

    Tim…. I’d better clarify this now. When I said the system wasn’t broken for non-white communities I meant the dating/girlfriend/marriage system. I don’t see half the problems in, for example, the British Indian community that I do in the white community.

    The fact cleaners don’t have nice apartments and work long hours and may in certain areas be skewed towards a certain ethnic group….. I truly don’t give a fuck. It’s a shitty zero skill job and should pay accordingly. People in shitty jobs should live in small, shitty apartments. This is natural. Every time you tinker you fuck the system of market forces. Oh… and most cleaners are ALREADY massively subsidised by a socialist system of wealth redistribution. Well in London at least they are. My next door neighbours in London were cleaners and they lived in an identical apartment to me. The difference was I paid over a grand a month for it and they paid nothing. Oh…silly me… I forgot we are living in a “fair” society.

    • Tim9000
      July 1, 2011 at 1:38 am

      I don’t understand how the UK works, but I’m in the US where the subsidies are few, and people at the bottom really are in trouble (access to decent housing and healthcare, etc.) yet they judge this to be a better risk than living in their home country. I won’t comment on immigration and macroeconomic trends, I’m just pointing out that there are groups in the West who have it worse than us in the dating/girlfriend/marriage market. In particular I’m thinking of immigrants from either Latin or South America, or the Dominican Republic. They’re here legally and it’s not uncommon for them to be slaving away to send a little cash to help their extended families back home, and in some cases, wives and kids who they never see. I could be wrong but I don’t think they have set-ups (like Indians do) and don’t have any time to game.

      South Asians are a more complicated story. Some South Asian men luck out when it comes to getting a wife. Pretty average guys marry hotties all the time, but it’s kind of a crap shoot as it depends so much on who their parents happen to know and the status of their family. If an average looking Indian guy wants a hot wife he is going to have to learn game just like we do, then go out and make it happen.

      • bhodisatta
        July 3, 2011 at 9:43 pm

        “access to decent housing and healthcare”. the language of the socialist. you get what you can afford. if you don’t work you don’t eat and you die out. i’m all for a bit of social darwinism.
        i couldn’t give a shit if immigrants have a tough time. they shouldn’t be there. go home. every time an immigrant “sends cash home” the total quantity of wealth in your pool reduces a little. i’ve got news for you: all countries are in competition with each other for wealth and resources. the fact that so many women and morons think it’s OK to send their wealth out of the system which itself gives them the privilege to live their fake lives just flabbergasts me.

  5. Darroux
    July 1, 2011 at 7:31 am

    Yet another fantastic article from Bhodisatta.

    What is spooky is that 10 minutes before I read your post I was thinking about how we could introduce a subject into the school curriculum based on The Game, The Mystery Method, Manhood101 and Married Men Sex Life. If it was aimed at 14 year old boys I believe that it would sort out a load of the shit in this country. It would never happen as any government would see it as a threat to controlling the population.

    Anyway, if I win the Euromillions tonight I’ll make a start on your plan.

  6. July 1, 2011 at 9:27 am

    Red Queen races are the source of the problems that you are describing, not immigrants, or poor people, or Globalisation, or global warming. Although these are an easier targets to blame.

    Your contemporaries did this to you (& me). Well, we all did it to each other. We all rushed off to uni and studied jobs that our parents warned us against. Avoid the tournaments unless you are going to win, avoid the rat races, don’t enter into a game that you likely can’t win.

    How much of our fault is this? Well we certainly can’t rely on price signalling to help us out. You get paid more working at a bank, or in Law, or IT. Many people fail to realise that you also take on a lot more stress, have no free time, and are forced to live in the most expensive city in the world. Not because you are not valuable, but because you have no market power.

    Market power isn’t just about getting paid alright without working all hours under the sun. It is also about girls. Girls and having a large circle of good friends, plus acquaintances who want to be your friend are barometers for how well you life is actually going.

  7. July 3, 2011 at 11:49 pm

    Jimjim. If we all took your attitude though, where would we be? No civilisation would ever be achieved. Instead, we’d just have a ton of people on the dole, claiming the tax money of others through welfare claims, staying in their room all day, and doing nothing except downloading episodes of Game of Swords and browsing through Internet sites till 4 am in the morning.

    • July 4, 2011 at 2:12 am

      Firstly it’s Game of Thrones, not Game of Swords!

      My response probably does need a bit more explanation on reading it again.

      I do agree that if everyone focused on getting laid rather than getting rich then the UK could well be poorer. If one person rebalances their life from work towards social then they may be better off. If everyone does this then then UK economic output would decline. There is a fallacy of composition going on here.

      What I was trying to say was that I agree with Bhodi that a lot of guys (and girls) get into jobs that eat all of their time, put them under massive stress, and leave them to frazzled for a social life in their brief amount of time away from work.

      I reckon you can avoid this situation, although you will probably have to leave an expensive city like London to do so.

      I disagree with Bhodi that immigrants or white trash are part of his (and my own) lack of sex. Australia is lilly white, has hardly any form of class system, and yet some guys still lead fairly sexless lives just like guys in the UK do.

      But this repsonse is still not covering the half of it. It really requires a series of essays at least. I’m looking to get my own blog properly going when I actually try and put some of these ideas into practice…

      • bhodisatta
        July 4, 2011 at 8:40 am

        “I disagree with Bhodi that immigrants or white trash are part of his (and my own) lack of sex.”

        WTF? I never said this. Read it again. Try not to be blinded by the word “immigrant” shutting down the logical parts of your brain.

        Tim seemed to think the same thing. I’m honestly starting to think that if you put keywords in an article, like “immigrant” people become totally incapable of logically reading it.

  8. July 5, 2011 at 9:07 am

    Sorry mate, I’m not trying to argue or wind anyone up. I guess I just got the wrong impression from your bullet points. Of course I do read things subjectively.

    I definitely agree strongly with the main point of your post there is a conflict between a persons career and perhaps their relationship success for a lot of people out there. And I will be interested to see how your plans for dealing with this modern problem play out.

  9. July 8, 2011 at 9:59 am

    great post and comments. There’s more learning in this one page than in a whole week of broadsheet newspapers

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