I accidentally open set while not “doing game”

July 3, 2011 2 comments

I was in Newcastle shopping yesterday. The sun was shining. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror while going up the elevator in Primark and I thought my tricep looked quite defined and my gynaecomastia was nice and rounded, almost masquerading as pec. I was in a good mood. I was ambling through the shop and while browsing the three pound T-shirts (thank goodness for poverty stricken Bangladeshi children) I saw/heard a girl blabbering on her mobile phone in what sounded to me as Russian.

Here’s where I slipped up. Instead of getting my game face on, psyching myself up and getting in state I simply asked her “Excuse me… (charming smile, she smiles back)… what language was that you were speaking?”. This has to be the worst daygame approach ever. For a start I wasn’t taking the thing seriously. I hadn’t wandered the street on my own for at least half an hour before, getting into that crucial mindset of making the activity a chore and one which my forebrain was going to brutally force my hindbrain into doing. I didn’t have a little Moleskine notebook with me to note down the time and details of the set. Hell…. I didn’t even have a PUA man-bag!

Her: No, no…. it’s Lithuanian
Me: Oh I’m so sorry…. I can’t tell the difference.
Her: No, no it’s ok.. my English… it’s not so good… either  [spot the instant qualification… mmm what could trigger such low value? answers below]

I chat to this girl for five minutes. Lazily. Leaning on the clothes rail. I feel entitled. Primark is my kingdom.

It’s only a good five minutes in that I finally realize… I’M IN SET!! THIS COUNTS AS DAYGAME!

By then of course it’s too late. No chance to run my Panda-Stack routine, or to slip some retrospective negs in (“I forgot to tell you… you look a bit shit…no… I mean your clothes look shit… no I mean weird. Hang on… weird but cool… That’s it, I remember, you’re clothes are cool but weird).

I’ve accidentally DHV’ed myself many times by now. It’s not hard. Turns out this poor girl has come from Lithuania in search of employment and lives in a small coastal town in the North East and works in a seafood factory. Sounds awful. She mentions that she wants to do this to earn a better future for her son.

SINGLE MOTHER!

At this point I scream and slam both feet down on the brake pedal. Not only have I realized I’m accidentally in set but with a single mother. The EASIEST, LEAST ENTITLED AND MOST MAN-HUNGRY of all women. All I need to do here to close this girl is literally do anything which gives her the crumb of esteem that I don’t think she’s desperate.

I frantically carry out an emergency Fuckability rating on this girl to see if she can at least get into the Sea-Cow/Mud-Turtle category. This could end my dry spell!

The sad truth dawns on me. This girl is not even hot enough for a pump and dump. I ask myself honestly and genuinely “would you rather fuck this girl or have a night in”. I don’t want to fuck her.

Curse my ridiculous standards. She wasn’t fat. She wasn’t… hideous… She just wasn’t…above a 6.5. Honestly… I’d just rather not. Unlike a lot of other men I just don’t seem to have the ability to fuck mud-turtles. I just DON”T WANT TO. I’ve thought a bit more about my standards and the gap between “too gross to fuck” and “would marry assuming personality is rocket-fuel” is incredible small. 0.5 points on the scale! Yes! 0.5 points. Let’s quickly go over the Jambone scale:

5: ugly. friends openly ask you “why?”
6: you’re quietly embarassed by her lack of looks. friends would never mention it but it would hang uncomfortably in the air.
7: acceptable. no shame. no pride. most men date and marry 7’s.
8: her beauty preceeds you. it’s mentionable in conversation e.g.  “have you seen Bhodi’s girlfriend? wow”.

I believe that I would rather fuck no-one than fuck anything beneath a 6.5. I just don’t think I’m capable. I’m not sure my hindbrain could even give me enough juice to get a proper boner. I’d marry a 7. So total gap equals 0.5 points. This seems odd.

I bid the girl farewell. Sorry I  mean “eject”. It’s only later when I accidentally slip out my game focus again that I realise she was actually quite nice, and I felt sorry for her with her shitty job and boring life, and I could have at least Facebooked her and been platonic friends and showed her and her son round Newcastle a bit one day (and if you really must see the gain in it then of course she may have hot friends).  I take a quick look to see if I can spot her but she’s gone.

Advertisements
Categories: General

It’s ALL broken!

June 30, 2011 16 comments

I’d previously assumed that in other parts of society there were plenty of middle class people out their whose relationships with the opposite sex weren’t fucked up, they dated regularly, like the opposite gender and eventually found someone and settled into a happy long term relationship and marriage. I was randomly wandering through the kitchen the other day when it hit me; there aren’t. These people don’t exist in great numbers. It’s a myth.  Within a certain social grouping it’s all fucked. Apart from a few tiny exceptions it’s ALL broken. There aren’t offices full of men and women with happy dating lives. The system is totally broken. The idea that it must be working out there for other people is no more than that. Look at the evidence. Find me these dozens of 20 and 30 something men and women who have trouble free dating lives. You can’t. Find me hundreds of thousands of bitter, unhappy, single 30-somethings. Easy.

This may have been staringly obvious to some readers but I’d bet a fair few in the game thought the same as me. They thought it was them and men like them and they assumed for the majority of people it was all running normally. I’d like them to reassess that. Take a solid look round at all the 20/30 somethings that you know in both the big cities and the suburbs. Go through a mental list of your friends and see how many are happy, have satisfying dating lives or are in a relationship they’re delighted to be in. I think when you sit and think through it you’ll get a shock.

It’s all broken! It’s not just us. It’s almost everyone! This is the big secret right in front of our faces. For the middle class in the UK then for 90% of people the system is miserably broken and it’s little wonder that being middle class, professional and living in a big city in Britain is by and large an utterly miserable and unfulfilling experience.

So the entire social system behind male/female interactions is by and large broken. Huge tranches of the highest quality people in our society are growing old and infertile and dying out. This is a truth so huge and so obvious that very few seem to be able to see what’s right in front of their faces.

What’s gone wrong? I won’t drone at length about feminism but will come at it from a different angle. Think back to living in halls of residence at university. Equal numbers of males and females from a roughly heterogenous racial and social grouping living AND WORKING together in close proximity and socializing together. The result? Happiness. Large social circles. Huge networks of friends. Lots and lots of people hooking up and having fun. And almost no burning bitterness towards the opposite sex. Even failed Betas like myself had huge amounts of female friends who I respected and liked.

Let’s wind these groups of people ten years into the future. They’re not 20 and in their third year at Uni, they’re 31 and living in London. By now they probably have a whole strata of bitterness towards the opposite sex, blaming them for not living up to their expectations and this strata, ever deepening like a coastal shelf with time, further preventing their happiness.

Let me reiterate this. When at university males and females in general got along splendidly. The women didn’t resent men and vica versa. Let me quickly break down why the system is broken.

Social networks

People leave uni and move to new cities for work. They have little means or time to create a social network a fraction as good as the one they previously had. They have fewer friends, far less fun and about 3% of the time to do anything but work that they previously had.

Without a large social network people can’t get exposed to large amounts of new people and slowly get to know each other and work out who they like. The number of hookups plummets. Men go to bars to try and find women. Women go to bars to feel validated. They waste the precious years of their youth flaunting their value or sitting at home in their tiny, lonely apartments watching TV. It’s not a succession of unfulfilling relationships which makes people bitter… oh no.. here’s my core argument: it’s a lack of relationships at all which makes people bitter. People just aren’t having enough quality relationships. Men and women in the prime of their youth are spending large amounts of time single.

Spend lots of time single, add in a keen awarness of one’s ageing self, constant stress and fatigue from work, too much caffeine and alcohol and zero time for the self and you will crust up with misery like a never-cleaned toilet.

A solution

Yes us bloggers love to talk about feminism and social conditioning. It does have a lot to blame but I’d argue that if you put men and women in close proximity and have some commonality or a common task between them their natural, DNA-encoded joy of sharing each other’s company will come out and they will start to do what men and women have been doing since they popped into existence: getting along.

I’ve thought of a radical solution. Anyone with a spare billion or so could implement it.

Start with London.

  • Buy up a few tower blocks. Gut them and turn them into halls of residence. Corridors of small ensuite bedrooms with communal kitchens, TV-rooms, Gyms and games rooms. Think Pool, Salsa. Anything real and not digital.
  • Only singles can move in. And you can only stay there a year straight.
  • Brutally (and illegally) control access criteria.
  • 6 women to every 5 men.
  • Scatterings of super-hot non-British (Latin, Eastern European, Asian) immigrant women.
  • Homogenous groupings on social background and nationality.
  • You have to be single to get in.
  • Sophisticated smart-card system ensures that occupants HAVE to socialize a minimum amount and attend dance, acting or comedy classes. Dance is obligatory (more on this in a later post).
  • All male residents go on an induction course centred around learning about game and social conditioning.
  • All female residents go on an induction course centred around being taught they are not princesses. Like in a prison “scared straight” program single, infertile, high-achieving 40 year old women are brought in to meet the 20-something girls.
  • Everyone only works part-time. Impossible? Why? Simply throttle the welfare state down to that which can be supported by 10% tax, slash foreign-aid (except to like-minded countries like Japan) to zero and carry out a simple cost/benefit analysis by computer on every single immigrant who has entered the UK in the last 30 years. Well.. most would be gone as the welfare state goes but for the remainder if their wealth doesn’t pay for their health, their (non-working) family’s health and education and their illiterate grandparent’s (expensive) health and pension then… goodbye! The removal of millions of parasites crashes property values so the “real” cost of a room in such a location in London would probably be a couple of hundred quid a month. Tops. Now everyone is centrally based, so doesn’t commute, plus only works part time, people are not exhausted and stressed and have the time to spend time with each other.
  • Social activities are not enough. Shared tasks are required. The smartcard system is extended and people are required to engage in various mixed-gender character-building activities together over the course of months. Building tree-houses, learning Korean.. whatever.

The result? Mass dating and fucking and happiness on a scale never seen before.

Assuming the right-wing quasi-fascist benevolent dictatorship required for such changes never goes ahead then I say in all seriousness if all you do is set up halls of residences in the centre of cities for 20/30-something single professionals and carefully make sure there are 6 women to every 5 men then you would go a long way to stopping the frighteningly quick extinction of the British city-dwelling middle class. But that’s not what the Government wants is it?

PS

I forgot to mention who the current system isn’t broken for.

  • Anyone not middle class.
  • Non-white communities.
  • Any woman above a 7 and under 35.
  • Players who work in bullshit industries (marketing, PR, fashion, etc) full of women.
  • Betas who are happy being Beta, work in a bullshit job (charity, politics, media, etc) and are happy with their dumpy, bossy girlfriend of 7 years.
Categories: General

Funny videos

June 28, 2011 Leave a comment

Some random shit which amuses me:

First watch this:

WTF? “Chocolate Rain”? A black kid singing about “Chocolate Rain”? Just brilliant.

This version is better though…. fucking hysterical.

And this old chestnut just makes me happy every time I watch it.

Categories: Funnies

Desperate times…Desperate Measures…

June 28, 2011 7 comments

Online dating… again

Well my life’s pretty shit at the minute. I’m not in a job I hate, I don’t have cancer, I’m not trapped as a wage-slave due to an evil ex-wife, I’m not in a Thai prison… right, yeah, it could be worse. Still… I’m depressed as fuck. All the tell-tale signs are there. The constant fatigue, bingeing, inability to focus, inability to carry out the simplest of tasks. It’s like being a lazy woman.

The root of my problems can be traced to lack of pussy. In a recent post of mine, where I jabbered about inner-game, a very wise potato said:

“My opinion is your core confidence isn’t dependent on external validation, but if you are getting consistently shit (and not improving) feedback from the world you are doing something wrong. Your genes demand you mate, and if you don’t they’ll punish you for it eventually.”

This is true. What’s happened to me is that IT’S JUST TOO LONG since I had any fanny in my life. Very long. So long ago it’s abstract. It’s intangible. Ontop of this it’s so long since I had any real FUN on a regular basis I’m in serious danger of becoming a cynical, miserable cunt. Anyone seen the last episode of South Park?

What happens is after so long without pussy your hindbrain, your reptilian brain, or if you will your genes, start punishing you for not propagating them, for not pursuing your primal urge. Procreate! Chase women!  If you don’t take steps to do so you get more and more miserable and life starts to go wrong. Unfortunately being a miserable cunt isn’t the most helpful of mental states to be in to woo a charming lady for the fuck-slab.

As regular readers or friends will know I’m not working at present and am caring for my pap. I’ve got a lot of time on my hands and my frontbrain knows I could be using this wisely to build up my IT skills and work on entrepreunarial projects with friends. Yet despite my repeated efforts to do so, and all my logical understanding of how good this will be for me, I remain unable to focus or achieve much. The reason for this is the fires down in the engine room don’t produce enough steam anymore. My frontbrain knows the logic and wisdom of doing all these chores and character-building stuff but my good old hindbrain is just plain old sick of being miserable. It wants pleasure. It wants it now. And it will provide fuck all steam to do anything else until it gets it. Poof! I’m dead serious here. I feel like my entire life has run out of steam and I will be unable to do anything at all  until I solve this problem.

Having some mates and doing social stuff would be awesome but the most important thing is getting pussy. I’m confident that if I can aggressively vent a load of salty frustration into some real, living flesh twice a week, even that of a semi-gross mud turtle, it will do me the power of good. Screw the standards, I just need to get my rocks off.

Welcome back to online dating!

I’ve finally managed to scrape enough serotonin together for an evening to prepare and update my profile and send some messages. I think it was eating two tubs of Ben & Jerry’s ice-cream back to back that did it.

My frame is perfect for online dating; I don’t expect much, I don’t take it at all seriously and I don’t give a  fuck. Gone are the days when I’d laboriously read girls’ profiles and craft messages. Bullshit. Women are stupid retards and have zero logic, the only possible way to survive the process is by not giving a shit.

What better system to use than the Jambone Online Game method. This will be described in full in his upcoming eBook from the RSG Press but in brief this is what I did:

  • Got myself in a flippant mood and cranked out a profile:

  • Did a search and opened up 20 profiles of girls who looked at least a 6. Given that this is the North East this was not as easy as it sounds. 5 were lost due to collateral damage when I realised how fucking gross they were. Yet again the general standard of women in the North is astoundingly low. Shit in fact. I digress..
  • Cut and pasted the same subject and message text into each message.

I won’t describe the actual text as women, damn their petty suspicious, grubbing minds, often google these things, but it was pretty irreverent. In fact totally irreverent. Here’s a representative example:

Subject:

Blue cakes don’t fall

Message:

Hey! I noticed you looking at my profile. At least stop and say hello you perv.

I don’t even finish sending all 15 before I get my first reply.

Got more ice-cream to eat and Minecraft to play but will keep you posted.

 

[update]

Nice quote: “celibacy is a living death”

Categories: General

The Odyssey Begins..

June 27, 2011 4 comments

I’ve decided to read the whole of Roissy’s blog from start to finish. All 51 months of it. DrunkenBaker has just finished doing so and said it has changed his life.

It really is the best written pickup/gender politics blog out there. Four months down… forty seven to go.

Categories: General

Inner-Game Jabberings

May 25, 2011 8 comments

I was at Salsa the other week and I got talking to a cute 20 year old student. No game, just chat. She was nice and our conversation was interesting. SalsaLord kept going on about it over the next day or so and this made me think about it perhaps more than I would have done. Over the next week I started to think about this girl and wonder whether she’d be there again. Aside from the obvious “technical failures” of outcome-dependence, etc what I became aware of was how easily old thought patterns skirted round the edges of my peripheral mind-vision. Once or twice, while idly day dreaming I thought about what it would be like to pull this girl. How it would feel. And subtly the fantasies started to take a tinge of boastfulness. How it would validate me having such a girl. Imagining friends saying “wow!”. Dropping subtle hints about how young my gf was. I wasn’t so much actively thinking about these thoughts but the part of the brain that makes up thoughts and fantasies stamped a few out and offered them up to the central controlling bit as potential fantasies. I rejected them.. but part of my brain had still manufactured a few for perusal.

After some deliberation I decided that

If the price of having this girl was that having her made me feel better about myself then I did not want her.

Pretty hardcore. I was telling my mate Scouser this and he scoffed…

So you only want a girl who makes you feel <= you did before?

I’ve been mulling this one over and ended up going in circles in a philosophical mess so I’ll just splurge it out here and see what happens.

The initial idea was that someone with a truly strong reality wouldn’t need any woman or friend to make him feel good about himself. But assuming this guy had no women, and in fact all women loathed him, and nobody wanted to be his friend, then in fact wouldn’t he be a dick.. someone way too far down the Kenny Powers road of Alphaness?

Ok so in fact if you have the respect and affection of people you respect and like then it’s ok for this to form part of your self esteem. Seems reasonable.

So if you attract women you find attractive then is it ok for this to be a basis of your self esteem? I think it is… actually. So ok then… if you consistently are not attractive to women, and have no women in your life then is this ok to make you feel low self esteem?

Not quite. I think I’ve uncovered the root of a few problems.

I think a lot of people don’t separate out into two distinct boxes a) how they feel about themselves b) how their current life environment is at present.

What’s happened to me for many years of my life is that my ecosystem has been shitty and I’ve simply not had the environment for lots of friends or women. Hey… welcome to modern non-provincial career-life! What then happens is your unchecked hindbrain begins to furiously analyze the situation. It is not a positive situation so depression starts to creep in and you feel like this is a failing of your personality. Your self esteem lowers. The problem is you’re not seperating out the two. It’s possible that you have the most boring, banal situation with a shitty job, a crappy apartment and zero friends, yet this is purely environment. Why should this make you feel anything about your core self? It shouldn’t.

Thinking like this has always been difficult for me and I think a lot of people suffer like this. I think a lot of guys that end up getting into pickup in fact have been through a similar cycle:

  1. Have great life at University.
  2. Leave.
  3. Move to some city for some job.
  4. Have no friends.
  5. Discover everyone at work is old, married and shit.
  6. Work hard. Get tired a lot.
  7. Wonder how people meet new people.
  8. End up home alone a lot.
  9. Time passes.
  10. Wonder where you went wrong.
  11. Self esteeem lowers. Negative feedback cycle starts.
  12. Single and bitter.
  13. PUA.
  14. Join RSG.

And don’t forget old bastards like me did this stuff in the mid 90’s.. when normal people didn’t use the internet. Like at all.

So in fact.. shock horror… the big discovery is that in fact you can actually be a pretty ok guy and have no friends or women! How’s that for rationalization.

Where were we? Right. So it’s natural and reasonable that having great friends increases your self esteem. It’s natural and reasonable that having great women in your life does likewise. Yet you have to be careful that when you don’t have them you correctly identify if this is to do with your environment or your personality.

So it is in fact quite normal to be happier after hooking up with girl X than before. You have a richer life. More contact. More emotion. More interaction. Sex.

So if I feel lots better about myself because I have a 20 year old hot stripper girlfriend then this is ok, right?

No.

I’m confused again.Let’s start again.

I think I’ve got it this time. I take back everything I just said. I now think it is weakness if you feel much better about yourself for having girl X. Or indeed for having friends Y.

This is how I think it should work:

  • You just be yourself and clear as much of the crap off that society puts there as possible. You have your core intellect, personality and values. Stick to them.
  • Have faith that in the correct environment you will earn the friendship of people that you’d like to be friends with. Also have faith that if you do some basic stuff and don’t fuck up then you will have attractive women in your life.
  • If you don’t get to be friends with X they weren’t right for you. If you don’t get woman Y then they weren’t your type.

If I hooked up with 20 year old salsa girl then would I feel better about myself. The long hard truth is…. probably not. I’d maybe have a few days of euphoria but then it would settle and I’d just fail to see what was so suprising. I’m awesome: she likes me. Logical.

If you find yourself trophying women then I think it’s a sign of weakness. The Beta, low self esteem thoughts that my hindbrain was bandying about are not really congruent now. Call them echoes from the past.

FAQ
1) So it is weak to be pleased that you get a young, hot girl?
No. Attraction to youth and looks are wired into your DNA. It’s natural. Don’t fight it.
2) So is it weak that I am happier after hooking up than before?
Not necessarily. If it’s for technical reasons i.e. you simply have more fun now, then that’s ok. If you feel like having this girl plugs some kind of hole or forms a strut in your self esteem then yes, you are weak.
3) If I start thinking about girl X a lot is this weak?
Not necessarily. Maybe she’s really nice. It’s normal to think about her. It’ll be counter-productive, but it doesn’t neccesarily show weak character. However if you find yourself running elaborate scenarios about her, and visualising yourself feeling awesome and puffed up and boastful, and smug about having her… congratulations, you have a hole in your self esteem.

***************************************

So the real measure is happiness versus self esteem. If having girl makes you happier: fine. If it supports your self esteem: weak.

Ah… but what about serious relationships? Where people get married and stuff. I’d argue that the same thing holds. You’re a lot happier because you met your wife, your life is better, you’re in love with her, but it shouldn’t be a foundation of your self esteem. Seriously. You should be happy as hell you’re with her. You should love your life but I genuinely think the fact she chose you should not form a strut of your self esteem. It happens all the time, though, and I’d like to suggest that for a lot of people falling in love is when they find someone who is the right shape to plug the holes in their psyche. I’ve seen it many times before. It ends badly.

Categories: General

The Fertility/Resources Paradigm

May 25, 2011 3 comments

An interest in Game can quite quickly lead to a deep fasincation with evolution and anthropology. And cavemen. I’ve bought this and have high hopes:

I met Skeletor a while back and he taught me a simple model with which to look at gender dynamics. It was pretty useful and I now like to construct similar ones and enjoy looking at society through them. Here’s a basic one:

Fertility vs Resources

A friend wrote to me recently that he was deliriously happy as he was dating an early 20’s, good-looking Taiwanese waitress who adores sex.

This is DrunkenBaker. Bilingual. A very high IQ. A writer, actor, comedian, a social animal, a success in his chose career field. And he’s ecstatically happy at bagging a waitress. Fair do’s I say. Nowt wrong with that. Be pretty unusual the other way round, though, wouldn’t it? Cavemen, food, resources, offspring… blah blah blah… it’s all pretty obvious isn’t it.

A maudlin friend once emailed me and said “is this our fate? Exceptional men can only expect average women?”.

Yes, if you rate women on status and mastery. I’ll break down what you can expect:

  • exceptional men get average women
  • average men get awful women
  • exceptional women get a lifetime of unfulfillment

Have a look round at the couples you know and see how happy the ones with two stars in the relationship are. Not very. I personally know multiple couples who have less than harmonic relationships because their aims and energies are too similar. For most of my life I lamented that there weren’t enough smart women for me to get one. I thank Game that I now see this folly. I shudder at the cheese of even mentioning this. Sorry in advance. I can’t believe I’m doing it, but honestly, really… this is so apt:

Relationships work best with a mix of talents and abilities. Hell, humans were evolved to be highly specialized and genetically designed to have different but complimentary skills…. “We have evolved into fixed gender roles so that mutually dependent men and women can specialise in skill sets and attributes that combine to create a strong family unit“. If you’re a super-smart, high-achieving, alpha guy I’d suggest that perhaps getting a similar woman is not neccesary for happiness. Think of a motorbike and sidecar. You do the powering forward, make the bucks, write the books, make the big decisions and your little co-pilot keeps things running smoothly. Actually a better analogy is an X-wing with an R2D2 sitting in the back of it, keeping the engines running as you barrel down the Death Star’s equatorial trench, bleeping sweet bleeps of reassurance into your earpiece.

Let me hammer this home. An X-wing with no R2D2 is not much of an X-wing. You’re designed by nature to hook up, love and protect a woman. It’s in your DNA. One of the core purposes of an alpha males life is to have a mate, raise a family and protect and provide for them and others. At some point this bit seems to have got chopped off the PUA model.

So when my friend said “exceptional men get average women” he was shortsighted. He’s judging women by male standards of status and mastery. Judge women by female standards instead and you will see that what you call “average” women are often not so. Women have wildly different feminine energies in this modern age. Some of them are stunted, awful creatures, ruined by feminism and a system which lies to them. Others are wonderful, bright, smart, sensitive and empathetic. Don’t rate women by their job, their income or their problem-solving logic. Don’t be a dick.

Categories: General